Well, I'll share a story with you of what happened to me. When I was 15, I "came out" to my mother. She was understandably shocked, though the first thing she said to me still haunts me. She looked at me, completely stunned, and then said very slowly and quietly, "How dare you do this to your father and I?" Now I know my mother isn't homophobic, and even my father has reached a point where he can embrace Max as a member of the family, but nevertheless it really tore me apart that my mother would completely disregard the amount of pain and suffering and self-loathing that I was going through, and that she could only think of herself and my father.
Well anyway, over the weeks my mother settled down some, though she didn't tell my father because she was afraid of what he would do to me. Instead we spoke to the pastor of our church (with my permission and approval) to seek spiritual guidance. This would have been on Wednesday or Thursday, and he said all the things you would expect one to say. "Embrace the Lord, let go your evil ways (which technically I wasn't, since I was still a virgin), and pray for forgiveness." Well, we didn't get a lot out of it but I guess it was some comfort to my mum. Anyway, that Sunday we went to church as always (my father isn't a churchy-type but my mum and sister and I always went). The pastor started a sermon "that he was given as a gift by Jesus, in an inspirational moment that came to me this week". He started preaching fire and brimstone and damnation to homosexuals, saying that they're a sickness, a cancer eating away at God's good blessings. He then said, and I quote (because I will never forgive this moment as long as I live), "However, God wants us to hate the sin but love the sinner. For example, brother Jason is a ******, he and his mother came to me this week to ask for guidance. His mother wept at the shame and horror he brought upon her, but God's love will smile upon him for knowing his sickness and repenting, so we must find it in OUR hearts to love him and forgive him even as we hate the putrid sickness that Satan has placed in his heart."
I could have killed myself then and there. The entire congregation of over 200 people were staring at me, and immediately I went from being a good, hard working, time-donating, unselfish Christian brother to being a cancer in their midst, something they should detest and pity. People sent my mother cards of condolence and mourning, and things were thrown at our house at night. My dad's truck window was smashed in and my dog was shot one day when we were all away. All I had ever done was admit to someone else something that was troubling me, and suddenly I went from being a wonderful, upstanding person active in my church and community to being an object of hatred and fear and ridicule? The one good thing that came out of that entire hellish year was it opened my eyes. It taught me not to believe what others tell me but to make my own moral decisions. I don't need someone else to tell me the difference between right and wrong, I can do it myself. I don't need someone to tell me a story they heard about some guy was crucified 2000 years ago, I can find evidence myself and believe what I know to be true. Do I hate Christianity? No, of course not, the people of that congregation are HARDLY representative of Christianity or organised religion. I can't be bitter at a religion for the behaviour of a few of its followers. However, my point is that most of us base our religious and ethical beliefs on what others have told us to believe. We're Christian or Buddhist or Muslem or whatever because our parents or community are. We believe that Noah built an ark because someone told us so, but they believe it because someone else told THEM.
I believe what I believe. It doesn't match up with any known religion in the world, but it FEELS right. It's very simple, it doesn't have a lot of ritual or rules. It's based on common sense. Don't hurt other people, and do everything you can to help them. Believe in a higher power, but that higher power doesn't have to be defined or named. Humans try to define EVERYTHING, but I believe that our creator is beyond our comprehension. Definitions, names, descriptions are impossible. So, I believe in a higher power, I believe I was given life for a reason, and I know that when I die I will go on in another form. That's all I know, and I'm happy with that. There are wonders in this universe beyond anything the human brain can understand, so I don't try. My point is, just because a book WRITTEN BY HUMANS says homosexuality is evil, that doesn't make it so. I know in my heart that my life is filled with love and that is NEVER wrong. All I wish is that the world at large would stop telling me otherwise and just let me be. Give me the same rights, the same responsibilities, the same protections, the same limitations as everyone else, and I'll be happy. Nothing more, nothing less.