JokesFollow

good thread... keeping me entertained

Well I am from Hades, visiting since someone posted this link in the Black Mage forum, so I wanted to add a few of my favorite jokes!

Joke #1
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. I'd like to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you dumbass!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

Joke #2

Did you hear about the gay guy who put a Nicoderm patch on his d~i~c~k?

Well, he's down to two butts a day!

Joke #3

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the balls!

Okay, that's it, that's all I have for tonight. I hope I was able to make some of you chuckle a bit. I know the last one was lame, but I wanted to put 3 jokes up and none of the other ones I know are appropriate. I mean, like ... racial jokes, and that's just guaranteed to offend so I leave them alone. >.^

EDIT: Because the word D~I~C~K got bleeped out.

Edited, Sat May 7 02:04:23 2005 by Aksannyi

Well I posted this one on a different thread, but I just think its funny..

There were 3 men in heaven, and each of them were talking about random things, when one man asked,
"So... how did you guys die?"
The first man says,
"Well, I was washing this lady's windows, when I fell off the ladder. I tried to grab on to a windowsill, when some a**hole threw a refrigerator out the window and smashed my fingers, but not before I grabbed him and pulled him down with me."
The second guy said,
"Well I knew my wife was cheating on me, so I was looking around for the guy, and I heard him moving around in my refrigerator. I got really mad, picked up the refrigerator, went to my window, and threw the refrigerator out of it. Then some crazy guy grabbed me and threw me down onto the street."
The 3rd guy said,
"So.... I was hiding naked in this guy's refrigerator...."

Also, here's a funny one:

This guy walks into a bar because he's really sad and wants to get out of the rain.
The bartender says:
"Here, hop on this stool and lemme getcha somethin'."
The guy says,
"Well, I really don't want any alchohal right now... Do you have any water?"
The bartender replies:
"No, I'm afraid we dont got none o' that.. We do have Coor's Light though, its the same thing."