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#102 May 02 2013 at 9:55 AM Rating: Decent
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Loner outsider with no real friends: Check <- Not true. He had Robb and to a lesser degree because of the age difference Bran. In the Nightwatch he has plenty of friends. Grenn, Pyp, the fat one.

His brothers like him because he has such a sparkling personality. In fact, every even vaguely sympathetic character likes him. How could they not? People who don't like Jon may as well be twirling mustachios. Lord Mormont likes him, immediately, decides to groom his as his successor after about an hour. Mance likes him, immediately, to the point of accepting the idiotic conceit that he's abandoned the NW. Aemon Targarryian like him. These aren't "real friends" however. These are people for Jon to rescue. Halfhand likes him so much he wants him to kill him. He's clearly a likable guy. Unless you're evil, of course, then you instantly hate him. This is how we can tell that Mel isn't necessarily evil, she doesn't hate Jon instantly.


Great warrior: Check <- Because he received intensive training his whole life by Ned Stark and the white bearded fellow. I don't think he's superior to Robb in that respect. And he would not stand a chance against Jaime (with both hands), the Red Viper, one of the Cleganes or someone other in their league.

No, his albino wolf would kill them at the last minute after Jon tried really hard. Starting to see the problem? Also you left out Barristan, who if you read carefully, is probably the most dangerous one on one combatant alive, even at 60+


Borderline manga style super pet: Albino dire-wolf? Really, George?: Check <- A trait he shares with all his 'siblings'. The albino part is a bit over the top but at least it makes sense stoywise.


Really? It "makes sense" story-wise? The whole dire-wolf thing makes no sense. It's an early hook to demonstrate that magic is coming back into the world. It may as well be fan fiction. It makes as much sense as the giant lions the Lannisters have, except for Tyrrion who found a dwarf one, and the 30 foot Stag that Stannis rides into battle.

Magical powers?: Check <- Shared with his siblings again. And he's not even close to Bran.

I'm not sure how "shared with his siblings" justifies stupidness. Bran's character is as comical, just incredibly boring to read. "Bran rode on Hodor's back....<20 pages of handwaive vague mythology>" Bran's story arc is clearly cribbed from one of the early drafts of "The Golden Child". Bloodraven is interesting and a deeper mythic archetype. Having to have Bran be supermagicbaby to get exposition on the BR stuff is lazy and tiring to read.

Daddy issues: Check <- Comes with being a *******/adopted.

Yeah, not ****. Daddy issues come with daddy issues? Who knew? There's no reason to have Jon be a *******, though. I mean aside from the big "reveal" that he's Reagar's kid. That's the daddy I'm talking about.

Born leader: Check<- Again that is due to his uprising. He is not a better leader than Robb.

I assume you mean upbringing. He's clearly a better leader than Robb. Did you mean not a better general? I'm sure he'll be revealed to be. We really haven't had the opportunity to find out yet. As to the "upbringing" handwaive, Samwell, Jonas Slynt, etc have simmilar upbringings without magically being born leaders. Am I to believe that the Stark blood just magiks that up in the boys?

Wins over savages to the white man's grace by "understanding" their customs and beliefs almost instantly: Check <- Most of them don't really like him. Only the ones that know him from the time he spent with them.

Right. Of course, once they get to know they'll love him immediately. I mean, unless they're eeeevil.

Slays undead: Check <- He's not the only one. Even the fat one kills one of the Others und thus earnes his title Slayer.

You mean Sam, who kills one with the dragonglass that Jon finds and tells him to keep after Sam dismisses it as unimportant? Is that what you meant? When Jon basically saves Sams life in loco parentis with his sage advice?

He pretty much did what anyone in this position would have done. And it was enough to hold the enemy at bay long enough. Don't see a problem here.

You don't see a "problem" with Mance hanging around and being rebuffed for days as he sens small groups of forces at the wall like a Bruce Lee villain with 20 henchmen?
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#103 May 02 2013 at 9:57 AM Rating: Decent
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What characters do you like, Smash?


The ones written for me, basically. Tyrrian, Arrya, Sandor, Post handchop Jaimie, ok, probably pre Handchop Jaimie too. Littlefinger, obviously, I mean he's the hero, right?
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#104 May 02 2013 at 10:05 AM Rating: Good
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Smasharoo wrote:


What characters do you like, Smash?


The ones written for me, basically. Tyrrian, Arrya, Sandor, Post handchop Jaimie, ok, probably pre Handchop Jaimie too. Littlefinger, obviously, I mean he's the hero, right?


Hah, I thought I was the only one who really liked Littlefinger. The wife thinks I'm off my rocker.

On an unrelated note, I have no idea who you're responding to in the above post - I can't find the original anywhere. It's like I'm missing a whole string of someone's posts in this thread...

nm just noticed that it's from someone's post that they edited after the fact.

Edited, May 2nd 2013 12:06pm by Eske
#105 May 02 2013 at 10:15 AM Rating: Decent
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Elinda wrote:
the Hound

Nope Smiley: tongue

Edited, May 2nd 2013 12:16pm by Nilatai
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#106 May 02 2013 at 10:31 AM Rating: Decent
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Hah, I thought I was the only one who really liked Littlefinger. The wife thinks I'm off my rocker.

Everyone should love Littlefinger. He's deflowered so many Tully women he should change his coat of arms from a mockingbird to a trout being fileted. He's also clearly Loki in the Ragnarok that's about to unfold. He doesn't kill people he dislikes, I mean he does, but he also kills people just to confuse things. Loses a "duel" with Brandon Stark and says "hey I'm never going to win a sword-fight with this guy, maybe instead, I'll just destroy his entire family and take the remnants of his house for my own. Or as Littlefinger calls that sort of planning session "Tuesday".




Edited, May 2nd 2013 12:44pm by Smasharoo
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#107 May 02 2013 at 11:09 AM Rating: Good
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Nilatai wrote:
Elinda wrote:
the Hound

Nope Smiley: tongue

Edited, May 2nd 2013 12:16pm by Nilatai

Hmm, perhaps I should have used Sandor as "The Hound is dead"
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#108 May 02 2013 at 11:34 AM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
Nilatai wrote:
Elinda wrote:
the Hound

Nope Smiley: tongue

Edited, May 2nd 2013 12:16pm by Nilatai

Hmm, perhaps I should have used Sandor as "The Hound is dead"

Now you're gettin' it Smiley: wink
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#109 May 02 2013 at 11:36 AM Rating: Decent
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Smasharoo wrote:
Much rambling.


You have every right to your opinion but when I suggested that some of your 'tropes' for Jon are factually wrong or not even remotely limited to this one character you come back with sarcasm and anger. It may have escaped you in your frenzy but I actually agreed with you on some points. On others I disagreed but that's obviously more than you could stomach. Which renders this discussion rather fruitless. I wish you a happy life.
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#110 May 02 2013 at 12:00 PM Rating: Excellent
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You must be new here, that's how Smash talks to everyone.
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#111 May 02 2013 at 12:02 PM Rating: Decent
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Nilatai wrote:
You must be new here, that's how Smash talks to everyone.


Aye, I dare say he's sustained by embittered, sarcastic well-wishes.
#112 May 02 2013 at 12:18 PM Rating: Decent
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You have every right to your opinion but when I suggested that some of your 'tropes' for Jon are factually wrong or not even remotely limited to this one character you come back with sarcasm and anger. It may have escaped you in your frenzy but I actually agreed with you on some points. On others I disagreed but that's obviously more than you could stomach. Which renders this discussion rather fruitless. I wish you a happy life.

I wish you one, too, with high hopes that your tissue paper thin psyche can withstand the slings and arrows life my hurl at it. I will pray, nightly, that someone doesn't neglect to say "thank you" at a Burger King drive through window or that you suffer some similar indignity causing your inevitable death at your own hands in a fit of despair and hopelessness. You have no inkling how kind I've been to you or the restraint I've shown, but have no fear, you slighting me in this way is something I've grown able to withstand with good grace.

I lie. Yes, I lie. I will lay awake this night and all others, sleepless staring at the ceiling of my bedroom silently asking myself: "Why? Why didn't that random person seemingly named after the Spanish word for "Achievements" LIKE me?" Then I'll realize it's the lack of the albino wolf and sleep like a baby.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#113 May 02 2013 at 12:27 PM Rating: Excellent
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I'm not sure why I check this thread anymore. It's nothing but spoilers, that I don't click on, since I'm the last person in the world that's not read the books (and I have no plans to).

Remember when this was about the show on HBO? Good times...
#114 May 02 2013 at 12:29 PM Rating: Good
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Someone didn't read the disclaimer.......
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#115 May 02 2013 at 12:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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I don't read. I only watch TV. HBO, specifically.
#116 May 02 2013 at 12:33 PM Rating: Decent
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I don't read. I only watch TV. HBO, specifically.

You've got a new favorite show?
You've been watching HBO?

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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#117 May 02 2013 at 12:35 PM Rating: Good
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Nadenu wrote:
I don't read. I only watch TV. HBO, specifically.

Eep, I was referring to the Thereallogros who was complaining that Smash was being mean. You snuck a post in between.



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#118 May 02 2013 at 3:14 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
I don't read. I only watch TV. HBO, specifically.

You've got a new favorite show?
You've been watching HBO?


I'll be able to say that (sort of) when they finally make Hickman and Weiss' books into something good. I'd like to see The Death Gate Cycle, but it'll never happen.
#119 May 02 2013 at 4:09 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
I don't read. I only watch TV. HBO, specifically.

You've got a new favorite show?
You've been watching HBO?


I... am actually really disappointed. While I agree with the sentiment to an extent and loved the costumes (and the GoT entry electric guitar riff), this is probably the worst AoA song I've ever heard.
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#120 May 02 2013 at 4:41 PM Rating: Good
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LockeColeMA wrote:
Smasharoo wrote:
I don't read. I only watch TV. HBO, specifically.

You've got a new favorite show?
You've been watching HBO?


I... am actually really disappointed. While I agree with the sentiment to an extent and loved the costumes (and the GoT entry electric guitar riff), this is probably the worst AoA song I've ever heard.

That's because they peaked with 4 chords. Smiley: tongue
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#121 May 03 2013 at 4:22 AM Rating: Excellent
A Game of Tropes

Starring:

Smasharoo as 'Tyrion'
TheRealLogros as 'Sam'
Nitalai as 'Jon'
LockeColeMA as 'Cersei'
Elinda as 'Grand Maester Pycelle'
Eske as 'That guy who plays Kev in Hollyoaks'
TirithRR as 'a lampshade'
Kavekk as 'Jaime's severed right hand'

Night gathers and now their watch begins. Tyrion, Sam and Jon are the Wall. It's cold. Super cold. Remember that time when you were really cold? Yeah, it's colder than that. Wind, snow, ice, freezer, Aberdeen, that guy from Mortal Combat named Sub-Zero, think of something really cold and it's even colder than that. But dragons are hot. Remember that. Dragons hot, the North cold.

Sam: The Wall has stood for thousands of years! It can never be taken. Not from the North, at least. It's just far too big. Too tall! Too icey. No one will ever take it from the North, never, ever, never.
Tyrion: They could just build a ladder.
Sam: You don't understand! Think of something big. Got it? Well the Wall is bigger than that. Even something really really big, like an elephant.
Tyrion: Or dig a f*cking tunnel.
Sam: The Wall has spells! Magic spells, that were cast by an ancient Lord who was also a prostitute but also a ******* and had a magic sword that could destroy the Wall, but he lost it when he went north of the Wall and no one really knows what happened to it. I read it in a Book called 'Magical Stuff That's Probably Extremely Relevant Eventhough It Sounds Boring'. The sword was called The Wall Tearer, but no one really knows why.
Jon: Enough chit chat, boys. Go practice in the yard with wooden swords, you'll need it when we face those undead creatures that can only be killed with fire.

Meanwhile, back in King's Landing, Cersei is in bed, pleasuring herself with Jaime's severed right hand.

Cersei: Oh Jaime, your hand is so hard right now. So... stiff. Do you like how warm it feels down there?
Grand Maester Pycelle: Your Grace, may I be excused now? I have things to attend to, like plots and whatnots.
Cersei: Shut up. I'm not done telling you my evil plans yet.
Grand Maester Pycelle: As you command.
Cersei/LockeColeMA: So stiff, and hard, and yet nimble. Oooooh, Jaime.
That guy who plays Kev in Hollyoaks: Your Grace! You know those untrustworthy Southron traitors you hired to kill the High Septon and then re-arrange the crime scene so that it looks like he died sticking his sceptre up his backside?
Cersei: I did what now?
That guy who plays Kev in Hollyoaks: Well one of them called Andy a ******, so Andy called his elder brother Gavin and now Gavin's all like mental and **** and he's saying he's gonna break his kneecaps with a baseball bat.
Cersei: What?
That guy who plays Kev in Hollyoaks: But Gavin is going out with Tom's sister, Ashmita, and she's got a twin sister who's just got a job as an estate agent on Uxbridge Lane, and Andy's parents are buying a flat from her, so she thinks she might sell them the flat with the broken boiler. Should I call the fire brigade?

Next week: Will the Wildlings finally learn how to build a ladder? Should That guy who plays Kev in Hollyoaks call the fire brigade? Will that new girl who's kept her clothes on for 3 episodes finally get naked? Is TirithRR made of dead jews? All this and more, on Game of Tropes.
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#122 May 03 2013 at 6:09 AM Rating: Good
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RedPhoenixxx wrote:


Next week: Will the Wildlings finally learn how to build a ladder? Should That guy who plays Kev in Hollyoaks call the fire brigade? Will that new girl who's kept her clothes on for 3 episodes finally get naked? Is TirithRR made of dead jews? All this and more, on Game of Tropes.
Smiley: lol

Will we learn next week if Kavekk was wearing a rubber glove?



Edited, May 3rd 2013 2:10pm by Elinda
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#123 May 03 2013 at 6:22 AM Rating: Excellent
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I'd be more offended at being labeled Cersei if I didn't think I could TOTALLY pull off the innuendo in this dialogue while cross-dressing.

I don't know if it's a good thing that I'm so confident that I could play the role or not...

Quote:
That's because they peaked with 4 chords. Smiley: tongue


Sad, but true Smiley: laugh Though In the Club and This is How You Write a Love Song were pretty funny too!

Edited, May 3rd 2013 9:18am by LockeColeMA
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#124 May 03 2013 at 9:48 PM Rating: Good
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LockeColeMA wrote:
While I agree with the sentiment to an extent and loved the costumes (and the GoT entry electric guitar riff), this is probably the worst AoA song I've ever heard.

Still better than anything on Renegades. Smiley: schooled
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#125 May 04 2013 at 9:55 AM Rating: Good
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Quote:
Kavekk as 'Jaime's severed right hand'


I always get the bit parts.
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#126 May 04 2013 at 4:03 PM Rating: Decent
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Smasharoo wrote:
Sure you aren't, hon.

You convinced me. Seriously though, if you think there's *anyone* reading this that doesn't immediately click on the "spoiler" tag, you're delusional.


Present.
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