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Hooking up with Tila TequilaFollow

#1 Jun 12 2009 at 5:13 AM Rating: Good
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Well hell, why not. It's a forum for books, and despite what everyone would say, this is a book. Mostly a picture book, but still a book. So here's a little background, on the author and why I currently own this rather pricy book.

Tila Tequila is a lot of things. She's one of MySpace's most popular people. She's been a Playboy model and in Maxim. She has been in a rock band. She's bisexual and very open about it. She has her own reality TV show (or had? It might be over by now), called "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila." She had her own fashion line for a little while.

I learned about Tila Tequila in senior year in college. A girl I fancied at the time loved shows like "A Shot at Love" and "I <3 New York"... you know, crappy (IMO) reality shows about the hostess trying to find "True Love." So I stayed up late at night, watching Tila make out with guys and girls alike. It weirded me out, as she's like 4' 11", so it looked almost like a child doing it o_O. Anyway, flash forward an entire year and a half. I'm out of college and dating a new girl who, go figure, also likes Tila Tequila. Her birthday was a couple of days ago, and she happened to let slip that she wanted Tila's book. So down to Borders I go, and they happen to have it in their Media section. I picked it up and thumbed through and thought to myself "Sweet Jesus, I went to Borders and bought porn." The middle of the book and the back cover are basically all pictures of Tila in various states of undress (although none completely nude and showing anything).

Well, since I have a couple of days until my girl's party, I decided to thumb through the book. I ended up reading it... because really, it's only about 40 pages of text total. I figured it would be interesting and talk about Tila's background. Erm, not really.

Let's start at the beginning. Tila begins talking about haters. Yes, she said, there are a lot of haters out there. You need to own it. Ignore them haters and own it.

I understand English and Spanish. I don't understand exactly about what she was writing. Intrigued, I moved on to the first chapter.
Chapter 1: SLUTS

Oh boy. According to Tila, a lot of haters called her a slut (and still do!). She refutes the claim, and says they only call her that because they're jealous. She even lists the definition of a slut (citation not provided in the book. Yes, I looked). I believe it was "A promiscuous woman." Tila's refutation was basically "It's not true! I mean, well, if being sexually active is being a slut, and loving sex is being a slut, yes, I am all that and more!" But she just listed the definition... and that's not it. Maybe she didn't understand "promiscuous," which, according to dictionary.com, is
Quote:
characterized by or involving indiscriminate mingling or association, esp. having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis.


As Tila mentions multiple times in her book, she has had multiple "sugar daddies" at the same time, will hook up with a guy just for a night if it's hot enough (or a girl, for that matter), and has never had a relationship last longer than a year, despite being "in love" numerous times. I hate to say it, but, er, she seems to be a slut. A proper refutation of the charges would have been something like "I love sex, and see nothing wrong with having it. People call me a slut but it doesn't matter to me. I am living my life how I want to, and loving it, and if the best they can do is insult me, I'm fine with that." In a manner, that's what she did write (it was a bit more, er, "ghetto" than I can get across), but that was after she denied being a slut. C'mon girl; OWN it!

The third chapter (I believe it was the third) was called "Pictures." And that's what it was. Basically Tila said "Go jerk off to this. I know it's why you bought this book." I didn't follow her advice, although she is quite attractive (again, despite the height thing. She's TINY!). But it made me wonder... to whom does this book cater? Sexual deviants? Men aged 20-40? Or people like my girlfriend? This one seemed like the 20-40 male crowd.

Later on we get to the "good stuff," which is about her advice and whatnot. Her background was woefully incomplete. She doesn't talk about her home life at all, despite cryptically mentioning she grew up in a household with no love. Her autobiography gives no set dates, no real details, no names (besides the name of MySpace's founder and some websites). Frankly, I felt like I was reading a fake MySpace profile with no substance... or one of those Playboy model "fact" sheets that says she likes long walks on the beach and hates dogs that bark. I'll admit I was disappointed; I would have liked to know more about her life. Later on in the "fan questions" section, she says she respects and loves her family and that's why she never talks about them; they don't belong on TV or in the spotlight.

Anyway, her advice section contained "How to understand dudes" and "Why girls are b*tches." It was more interesting than the previous section, although again I questioned to what audience the book was catering. She basically said "Guys will do their own thing, it's not an insult to you." She also says "If you like a guy, hold off on sleeping with him for as long as possible." Of course, she admits if you DON'T want a relationship, go ahead and bang him for a night and then leave. As for the girls' self-esteem section, I call it "fat girl advice." "There will always be someone more beautiful than you out there, so stop worrying so much!" I actually found that good advice. She also recommended taking the lead and going all out in bed. I must admit I was happy to hear that... but it got me thinking...

"What if she is just writing this book for guys?"

No, seriously. All of this advice might be pure nothing. It's what "dudes" want to hear... not girls. It makes guys love Tila even more; combine it with the pictures and lists of her turn-ons and favorite celebrity crushes and you have guys making fantasies about the "perfect" girl. I'm not sure if this is catered to women at all.

That thought made me a little sad. I hope my girlfriend still likes it. One part with which I did fully agree with was a fan question about exotic dancing, where Tila basically said "No way, don't, not worth it unless it's working toward a goal."

Anyway, it's mind-fodder, and not worth the almost $30 I paid. Porn is free online. The only reason one should buy this is if they are a Tila fan. I leave you with two fun facts that I took away from this book.

1. Tila Tequila is a nickname from when she was 13 and did shots of tequila with friends and had an allergic reaction.
2. While Tila is against working as a stripper for a living, it's good if it's working toward a goal. In fact, she has a section of her book where she says that, if you need to, "suck d*ck for a Bentley. Because you're worth it." Yes, girls, suck d*ck for a Bentley because even if the haters call you a slut, you're not (no, but really you are), and you're worth a Bentley so you can ride around laughing at the haters. Own it.

Edit: Forgot to add. The book is actually over 100 pages (I think). The reason I said it's 40 pages of text is because everything is double spaced and random words are enlarged (for dramatic effect?). The writing literally made me remember middle school, when you had to write a 5 page paper and made it actually only two pages of text by using size 16 font and double-spacing it. Cute, Tila.

Edited, Jun 12th 2009 9:16am by LockeColeMA
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#2 Jun 12 2009 at 5:50 AM Rating: Decent
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LockeColeMA wrote:
"What if she is just writing this book for guys?"

There were a lot of comments I wanted to make about your post, but I decided to go with just this one. Having read the book as far as you did I don't understand why you would think she was actually conceptualizing a target audience as she wrote small portions of this book.

I'd really enjoy reading the unedited version of this book, which I know I could never find, as I assume that she actually did write some portion, though perhaps I'm too naive. Tila is representative of demographic spread I don't interact with often, and I think the way she organizes her thoughts and selects perspectives would be quite interesting.
#3 Jun 12 2009 at 6:21 AM Rating: Good
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Allegory wrote:
LockeColeMA wrote:
"What if she is just writing this book for guys?"

There were a lot of comments I wanted to make about your post, but I decided to go with just this one. Having read the book as far as you did I don't understand why you would think she was actually conceptualizing a target audience as she wrote small portions of this book.

I'd really enjoy reading the unedited version of this book, which I know I could never find, as I assume that she actually did write some portion, though perhaps I'm too naive. Tila is representative of demographic spread I don't interact with often, and I think the way she organizes her thoughts and selects perspectives would be quite interesting.


Put in more comments! This forum moves too slowly :)

I know, shame on me thinking there was motivation behind this, or a target. I know the ONLY reason this book will sell is because of her pictures and her notoriety. I guess the practical part of me just thinks that, assuming she did write this book herself, she had to think about who would buy it. I mean, she keeps going on about how's she's smart, so I figure there had to be a method to the madness.

And I agree, an unedited version would be much more interesting. And of what demographic spread do you think she is a part?
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#4 Jun 12 2009 at 6:54 AM Rating: Decent
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LockeColeMA wrote:
I mean, she keeps going on about how's she's smart, so I figure there had to be a method to the madness.

People think they're smart like people think they're good drivers.
LockeColeMA wrote:
And of what demographic spread do you think she is a part?

Unfortunately I'd have difficulty describing the speicfic boundaries of the criteria. I think it is enough to say that last night I was playing D&D 4e with friends.

Edit: I also find it interesting that you chose to create a thread about this experience and book. What was your inspiration and drive?

Edited, Jun 12th 2009 11:04am by Allegory
#5 Jun 12 2009 at 3:24 PM Rating: Good
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LockeColeMA wrote:
And of what demographic spread do you think she is a part?


I always thought she was part Troll.

Evidence:
http://www.realitywanted.net/wp-content/2007/12/tila-tequila.jpg
http://shopping.hobidas.com/image-resources/far-east/GOODS/CHARACTERS/TROLL/TROLL-BANK-ALL.jpg

Edited, Jun 12th 2009 7:24pm by TirithRR
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#6 Jun 12 2009 at 10:11 PM Rating: Decent
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Honestly, I think the chick has to be pretty smart because she's in the Bentley and I'm not, regardless of what she did to get there. All women trade sex for security on some level, she's just a greedy narcissist who has to have multiple partners give her attention. I watched A Shot At Love the first time, but watching the pig vagina eating train wreck just didn't work for me the second time around.

I'd imagine the real awnser to "Why girls are B*tche$" is that they have different standards and sexual morals than she does. Like more traditional ones. Personally I think she'd beat Mr. Slave from South Park in a ho contest and I wouldn't let her breathe on me because science hasn't discovered everything yet. I don't hate her or anything, I too find her facinating. But I'd like her more if I knew more about her life, and everyone wants to know how someone turns into a nympho, I doubt it happens in a vaccuum.

I get how the tiny issue is a total turn off. I used to think chicks that liked Leonardo Di Caprio in the 90's were pervs because he was so boylike. I still think all the teachers who mess with their students had his poster on the wall. My man has chest hair and lots of it!
#7 Jun 13 2009 at 12:27 AM Rating: Decent
I have mixed feelings about Tila Tequilia personally... I like that Mtv gave her a bachelorette show from the standpoint that it gave bisexuality some coverage and brought it more to the mainstream, where as before (yes she was before Katy Perry *rolls eyes*) we were pretty much ignored compared to other "deviant" sexualities. On the other hand, she's hardly a good role model for bisexuals...

I watched a couple of episodes of her show, I don't remember whether it was the first or second one. I didn't really like how she pitted the guys against the girls, and I particularly didn't like some of the guys she kept on the show - guys with huge egos who had something to prove and had loud mouths. It was like they were insecure in their skin and they felt like their masculinity was threatened anytime they lost to the lesbians. One episode she kicked a guy off because he told her that he thought bisexuality was just a phase and that if he got with her she'd "grow out" of it. I liked that at least. Yeah, the eating pig vagina was really weird and kind of gross... I'm guessing she likes Fear Factor? Or was the eating pig vagina supposed to be representative of eating hers?

Meh, I've never understood why someone thinks they're hot sh*t for being popular on myspace. Why is that an accomplishment? Who cares if she sleeps with a lot of people? If that's what she wants to do, great for her. And don't tell women to hold off on sex as long as possible with guys they want a relationship with. That's Cosmo sh*t...A decent guy is not going to judge a woman for wanting sex whenever she wants it. If I was single and I went out on a date with a guy, and things went great and there was tons of chemistry and we ended up having sex, and he then he didn't want a relationship because of that, I wouldn't get depressed. I'd be like "@#%^ him, @#%^ing judgmental ass hole." A guy that is that judgmental is probably going to end up being a jerk anyways. That's my two cents.
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#8 Jun 15 2009 at 2:58 AM Rating: Decent
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Tila Tequila is one of those people that could die a slow painful death and I'd be pretty much OK with spitting on the corpse.
#9 Jun 15 2009 at 4:57 AM Rating: Good
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Allegory wrote:

Edit: I also find it interesting that you chose to create a thread about this experience and book. What was your inspiration and drive?


I was bored at work and this forum is too slow!
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#10 Jun 19 2009 at 7:53 AM Rating: Decent
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They made the book for whoever is buying.


By definition she called herself a slut.


I do NOT think she is smart at all. She probably does have the best business manager in the world though. I mean, it can't be to hard to sell a pretty face, but this is the tops.
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#11 Jun 19 2009 at 8:31 AM Rating: Good
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I thought the only light she was bringing to bisexuality is the fake type that is just made to make teenage boys masturbate to the thought of having two girls at the same time.
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#12 Jun 21 2009 at 2:32 PM Rating: Decent
I don't know, it could be. I'm not entirely sure about Tila's sexuality. She could be a "real" bisexual, or she could just be one of those girls that makes out with other girls for attention. Katie Perry on the other hand... I hate her with a passion. Her lyrics "I kissed a girl and I liked it, I hope my boyfriend don't mind it" make a complete and utter joke of bisexuality. "Oh yeah, I might like girls, but I have a boyfriend so that makes it perfectly okay because I'm not really all that transgressive." And the video how at the end it shows her waking up from a dream, alluding to it never actually happening in the first place. Not to mention they never actually show a kiss either. Let's also not forget her gay bashing song "Ur So Gay."
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#13 Jun 21 2009 at 2:57 PM Rating: Good
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LockeColeMA wrote:
She's one of MySpace's most popular people.
That's like being the gold medal winner at the Special Olympics.
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#14 Jun 21 2009 at 7:11 PM Rating: Good
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PigtailsOfDoom wrote:
"Ur So Gay."


Although, to be fair, that music video made me laugh out loud.
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#15 Jun 21 2009 at 7:13 PM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
LockeColeMA wrote:
She's one of MySpace's most popular people.
That's like being the gold medal winner at the Special Olympics.


Nah, it's like having a huge postcount on Allakhazam (and no, this isn't a comment on your post count. Although it does make me jealous). It means something to a select population, and everyone else just goes "Uh, so?" The difference being that a lot more people use MySpace.

That said, Tila Tequila basically bragged that it was because of her that MySpace took off, AND that her demands were the reason imbedding music and video was brought to the site.
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#16 Jun 22 2009 at 8:25 AM Rating: Good
I'd heard of Tila Tequila, but I had no idea who she was. Now that I know, I'll try to make sure I never hear anything about her again.

So, thanks, I guess!

Also, commiseration. If it's the same gf you mentionned in the wow thread, you're probably better off without her. If it's a different gf, then grats for having two gfs!
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#17 Jun 22 2009 at 9:19 AM Rating: Good
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RedPhoenixxx wrote:

Also, commiseration. If it's the same gf you mentionned in the wow thread, you're probably better off without her. If it's a different gf, then grats for having two gfs!


Alas, the same one. Yeah... I sorta feel like Oz in Buffy: The Vampire Slayer in that episode where he got Willow a witch-shaped Pez dispenser, which was the greatest gift ever, and all the while she was thinking about cheating on him.

Er, I sorta watched like 10 episodes of Buffy yesterday to stop thinking about my problems. At least my ex didn't break up with me for another guy? I guess that's a good thing, lol.
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#18 Jun 22 2009 at 1:50 PM Rating: Good
LockeColeMA wrote:
Alas, the same one. Yeah... I sorta feel like Oz in Buffy: The Vampire Slayer in that episode where he got Willow a witch-shaped Pez dispenser, which was the greatest gift ever, and all the while she was thinking about cheating on him.

Er, I sorta watched like 10 episodes of Buffy yesterday to stop thinking about my problems. At least my ex didn't break up with me for another guy? I guess that's a good thing, lol.


Is it too late to get a refund on that book?

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#19 Jun 24 2009 at 12:54 PM Rating: Good
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"Sweet Jesus, I went to Borders and bought porn."


don't know about your Borders, but the one a few towns over form me has a pretty good section on skin mags.
The odd part is that there are on the end rack, and no one can really see you over there. Every time I goto the store, you can place a bet, there is a few boys over in the corner.

As for the Tila book. Meh, she is cute. That is all.
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