I had a horrible experience this weekend, and want to share it as a "what not to do" for those who read this forum.
I was minding my own business, trading in tiger fangs for gil and fame in Sandy (I was 40brd/15thf at the time) when I got a tell asking if I wanted to party in Gustav Tunnel. I reply sure, just gimme two min to switch gear and subjobs and head out.
I don't get a reply back, which I found rather odd. So I switch my jobs, get my gear out, mail my farming gear to myself, pick up Minne III (level 41 song) and grab a choco. As I zone into Ronfaure, I send a tell saying I'm omw. No reply.
I ride through Ronfaure and LaThiene without a reply.
After I zone into Valkrum I send another tell, saying I was in Valkrum. No reply.
Now I'm getting concerned, most parties would say okay and meet me outside or whatever.
I get rid of my choco and zone into the tunnel. Send a tell saying "I'm here" and STILL get no reply. So I start to walk into the tunnel. I'm about halfway into the tunnel and I FINALLY getting a tell saying that while I was in transit (and sending tells, mind you) the other party members found a whitemage to fill my spot.
I was angry, and asked who the party leader was. Shock of shocks, the person I'd been been /tell'ing the whole time WAS THE PARTY LEADER. Which means he'd asked me, knew I was on my way, and then invited someone else instead. I told him that was inconsiderate and rude, and promptly /blist'd him.
Now, I understand that mistakes happen, but there was a good 5-10 minutes that went by between the initial tell, and the news after my arrival at Gustav Tunnel. If your party leader is already sending tells to someone regarding a party, unless that person says no (or there are extenuating circumstances), leave the invite/member seeking to the leader. If you're making suggestions as to members, do it as soon as the gap opens up (unless your party leader has someone waiting in the wings) so events like this don't happen. I'm sure that said person will be removed from my blist eventually, but regardless I'd be wary of partying with them again, given this event.
Try to be sensative to all parties involved. If something happens and a spot is filled (for whatever reason) when someone else is on their way, TELL THE PERSON IMMEDIATELY. I was more annoyed I spent the money to choco all the way out there and switch everything, only to have to run back to a crag on foot to get back to what I was doing. There wasn't much remorse or anything towards the situation, although I do know the whitemage and s/he apologized. But something to keep in the back of your mind when filling in gaps in parties. ^_^