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#4177 Sep 14 2017 at 8:06 AM Rating: Excellent
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In the future, hate-flags will cause double posts.

Edited, Sep 14th 2017 9:09am by Jophiel
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#4178 Sep 14 2017 at 8:38 AM Rating: Good
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We clearly need to build a wall to protect from double posts.
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#4179 Sep 14 2017 at 10:49 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
My deepest concern is, after Gbaji's dystopian vision of flag hating comes to pass, how will we decorate our used car lots?
I'm assuming mini hot air balloons and other giant inflatable monstrosities.

Also don't forget the "Your mom called and she said yes you can!" sign.
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#4180 Sep 14 2017 at 12:18 PM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
My deepest concern is, after Gbaji's dystopian vision of flag hating comes to pass, how will we decorate our used car lots?
I'm assuming mini hot air balloons and other giant inflatable monstrosities.

Also don't forget the "Your mom called and she said yes you can!" sign.


And the wacky waiving inflatable arm flailing tub man!
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#4181 Sep 19 2017 at 7:29 AM Rating: Good
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Random Crap wrote:
A Colorado neighborhood is raising a stink over a jogger who keeps defecating around the houses — even in front of children.

Neighbors have nicknamed her the “Mad Pooper,” and they’ve asked police to make this squatter stop.

The woman has been leaving No. 2s for nearly two months now, according to The Gazette in Colorado Springs.

You can’t make this (bleep) up.

“There’s a lady taking a poop!” Cathy Budde’s children told her one day at the beginning of the defecation drama.

When Budde went outside, she caught the woman — mid-squat, pants down — pooping outside her house, Budde told KKTV in Colorado Springs.

Are you really taking a poop right here in front of kids, an incredulous Budde asked her.

“Yeah, sorry!” the woman answered.

Now the runner poops at least once a week around the neighborhood, Budde told the TV station, which showed a soiled napkin lying on the ground.

The “Mad Pooper” comes prepared.

“It’s abnormal, it’s not something I’ve seen in my career,” Sgt. Jonathan Sharketti of the Colorado Springs Police Department told the TV station. “For someone to repeatedly do such a thing ... it’s uncharted territory for me.”

In May, surveillance footage and social media led Colorado Springs police to a man who defecated on the porch of his dead ex-girlfriend out of revenge, according to KKTV.

Budde said a nearby park has porta-potties and a convenience store close by also has bathrooms, so she’s not sure why the woman won’t quit the drive-by dumps.

The police asked Budde to photograph the woman to help identify her.
Twitter wrote:
"Mad Pooper" wanted by Springs Police https://t.co/iEvB0vGvSF #KKTV pic.twitter.com/RisoUGKNqq
— KKTV 11 News (@KKTV11News) September 17, 2017
The runner could face charges of indecent exposure and public defecation, police said.
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#4182 Sep 19 2017 at 10:08 AM Rating: Excellent
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It a good time to remind people that while pooping is a completely natural thing to do, so is hitting someone over the head with a shovel repeatedly.
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#4183 Sep 19 2017 at 10:13 AM Rating: Excellent
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I mean, if you know that jogging is going to.make you have to ****, maybe consider getting a treadmill? Or some diapers, I guess.
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#4184 Sep 19 2017 at 10:54 AM Rating: Excellent
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I dunno, it seems like pooping on a treadmill would make a horrible mess and be difficult to clean out of the machine.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#4185 Sep 19 2017 at 2:39 PM Rating: Excellent
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Naw you just need to jog slower, that way you have time to wipe it off before it goes around again.
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#4186 Sep 19 2017 at 2:44 PM Rating: Excellent
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Just strap a bucket to your rear and have at it, I guess.
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#4187 Sep 19 2017 at 9:17 PM Rating: Decent
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someproteinguy wrote:
It a good time to remind people that while pooping is a completely natural thing to do, so is hitting someone over the head with a shovel repeatedly.


Interesting side note, and potential unintended consequence. There's currently a hepatitis A outbreak going on in San Diego (and a couple other cities in California), mostly among the homeless population. A popular theory is that it's being caused (or at least contributed to) by the plastic bag ban that was passed last November. Apparently, homeless people regularly use the bags you used to be able to get for free from every store to **** at night when public restrooms are often closed (as are most businesses). Now that you can't get those bags, and have to pay 10 cents for the sturdier reusable ones, it's making it harder for them to **** without getting ***** on their hands, or they're pooping directly on the ground in an alley, increasing exposure to others later, dumping said ***** sans-bag into dumpsters which someone else later dives into, or any of several possible theories.

Current count is nearly 400 people infected and 15 deaths. A typical year might see a dozen total cases of HepA. So it's a pretty huge increase. I'm sure it's just global warming or something though.
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#4188 Sep 19 2017 at 9:19 PM Rating: Decent
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Really!? Poop is banned?
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#4189 Sep 19 2017 at 11:01 PM Rating: Excellent
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San Diego: Awash in shit and disease

I suppose it'll eventually be cleansed by fire as well so the problem should resolve itself.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#4190 Sep 19 2017 at 11:27 PM Rating: Decent
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Jophiel wrote:
I suppose it'll eventually be cleansed by fire as well so the problem should resolve itself.


That happens about once every 5 years. Smiley: nod
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#4191 Sep 20 2017 at 7:33 AM Rating: Good
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gbaji wrote:
Really!? Poop is banned?
Yep.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#4192 Sep 22 2017 at 8:26 AM Rating: Excellent
In case anyone is interested, I just finished the West Coast Trail. Super awesome, lots of mud, ladders and climbing over roots. Is anyone else into hiking trips, canoe trips etc? I highly recommend them!

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#4193 Sep 22 2017 at 8:57 AM Rating: Good
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Hunt any squirrels, deer, and buffalo to restock your food supplies?
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#4194 Sep 22 2017 at 11:26 AM Rating: Excellent
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Did you happen to die of dysentery, at all?
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#4195 Sep 22 2017 at 12:17 PM Rating: Excellent
I outran the dysentery. Most people don't know this, but it only moves quickly in bursts.
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#4196 Sep 22 2017 at 1:02 PM Rating: Excellent
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I'm pretty sure everyone knows how dysentery moves quickly in bursts.
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#4197 Sep 28 2017 at 7:48 AM Rating: Excellent
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Hugh Hefner saw one of his magazines and at 91 the sudden shift in blood pressure killed him.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#4198 Sep 30 2017 at 7:54 PM Rating: Good
Worst. Title. Ever!
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Monty Hall followed. No more deals to be made.
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#4199 Oct 02 2017 at 7:13 AM Rating: Excellent
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Damn. Fifty dead, over four hundred injured during an active shooting in Vegas. Open carry state, painfully white guy, at a crowd of painfully white people.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#4200 Oct 02 2017 at 10:14 AM Rating: Excellent
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We should ban travel of people from Nevada, to protect American citizens from terrorists.

ETA: America is a proper noun, and should be capitalized.

Edited, Oct 2nd 2017 9:16am by stupidmonkey
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#4201 Oct 02 2017 at 2:12 PM Rating: Good
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Tom Petty, dead at 66.

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