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And I'm saying that people that are not in control of their faculties (for whatever reason) should not be allowed to make such decisions.
At what point did the cops say they were willing to let her kill herself?
From what I took from your post, they said they wouldn't restrain her until she was clearly going to self-harm.
Your conviction that she was going to is understandable, but that's still not actionable grounds to take her into custody. Until she actually posed a threat to self or others, being mentally distressed isn't grounds for a forced stay in a ward. Her walking down the street and screaming at cars isn't the same thing as trying to throw herself in front of one.
I get your fear, but her rights win out over your worries. It's obviously a ****** situation, but that's all there is to it.
The reason we act differently when discussing a child is that a child is not considered an adult and is not responsible for their own well-being. An adult, even if mentally unwell, is still an adult legally in charge of themselves until the established medical/legal systems place them in the guardianship of another person. In which case, you WOULD have had options for transporting her to a psych ward.
It sucks, but that's because it's a really ****** situation. And it's for the sake of the suffering that we have these mechanisms specifically to respect their rights as much as possible. We already have serious issues with them failing and our prison system being the default repository for people who really just need psychiatric help.