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The honorable Senator from Academia has the floorFollow

#1 Jul 08 2014 at 12:22 PM Rating: Excellent
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That is United States Senator Brandon Smith (R-KY) explaining that Mars' temperature is the same as ours.

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I don’t want to get into the debate about climate change, but I will simply point out that I think in academia we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that. Yet there are no coal mines on Mars. There are no factories on Mars that I’m aware of.


I think there's a good reason he doesn't want to get into the debate.
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#2 Jul 08 2014 at 12:25 PM Rating: Excellent
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Are you trying to imply that Earth's average temperature isn't -60°c?
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#3 Jul 08 2014 at 12:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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in academia we all agree

I'm reasonable sure Gbaji could sue for copyright infringement on that sort of phrasing.
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#4 Jul 08 2014 at 12:31 PM Rating: Excellent
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I have to assume Academia is some chinless village in eastern Kentucky.

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#5 Jul 08 2014 at 12:33 PM Rating: Excellent
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He probably knows a guy that went to school, so that's just as good.
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#6 Jul 08 2014 at 12:42 PM Rating: Excellent
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If he is actually that stupid, how did he ever get elected?
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#7 Jul 08 2014 at 12:44 PM Rating: Excellent
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Probably a three way.
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#8 Jul 08 2014 at 12:45 PM Rating: Excellent
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I have to assume Academia is some chinless village in eastern Kentucky.

Apparently he's from the Hazard Holler. I assume coal cars roared and tumbled past his door. I know nothing of Kentucky, unless Justified is a documentary, in which case, a psychopath will be offing this guy ANY day now.

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#9 Jul 08 2014 at 12:47 PM Rating: Good
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If he is actually that stupid, how did he ever get elected?

He's a state senator. Less actual power than a police officer in Rotterdam. US politics is confusing.
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#10 Jul 08 2014 at 12:47 PM Rating: Excellent
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
If he is actually that stupid, how did he ever get elected?


He's been elected multiple times, as both Representative and now Senator. He's currently serving his second term as Senator.

In the mystical land of Eastern Kentucky, they don't hold with no book larnin'.
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#11 Jul 08 2014 at 12:49 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
I have to assume Academia is some chinless village in eastern Kentucky.

Apparently he's from the Hazard Holler. I assume coal cars roared and tumbled past his door. I know nothing of Kentucky, unless Justified is a documentary, in which case, a psychopath will be offing this guy ANY day now.




I'm hoping it's Boyd Crowder.

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#12 Jul 08 2014 at 12:55 PM Rating: Good
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I'm hoping it's Boyd Crowder.

I can already hear him drawling out "The temp ra chure on Marrrrrrrrs.....Mr. Smith"
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#13 Jul 08 2014 at 12:56 PM Rating: Excellent
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I'm assuming this is the whole solar output thingy massive bungled? Arguing that some other stuff is warmer, and ignoring any notion that solar effects aren't already in climate models. I suppose they pay the guy to represent their interests not learn about science stuff though.
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#14 Jul 08 2014 at 12:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
If he is actually that stupid, how did he ever get elected?
Kentucky passed legislation a few years back that made it easier to compare the state’s students to other states. Then they got uppity when the results showed they weren't up to snuff.. The state’s testing company interviewed professors to figure out the things most important to student readiness for college, which sounds like a smart thing to do, and they said if you want students to do well in biology classes, they have to know about evolution. Which they simply didn't want to hear. Intelligent Design vs Evolution shenanigans, basically.

Edited, Jul 8th 2014 2:59pm by lolgaxe
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#15 Jul 08 2014 at 1:02 PM Rating: Good
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I'm assuming this is the whole solar output thingy massive bungled? Arguing that some other stuff is warmer, and ignoring any notion that solar effects aren't already in climate models. I suppose they pay the guy to represent their interests not learn about science stuff though.


It's not about anything. It's important to remember that this guy likely isn't actually a moron. He's just making arguments he think will be accepted by the people he represents. He doesn't believe that this is a good example. He thinks his constituents will think it's a good example. It's dangerous to underestimate the cynicism of politicians and assume ignorance.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a whore. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#16 Jul 08 2014 at 1:07 PM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
His Excellency Aethien wrote:
If he is actually that stupid, how did he ever get elected?
Kentucky passed legislation a few years back that made it easier to compare the state’s students to other states. Then they got uppity when the results showed they weren't up to snuff.. The state’s testing company interviewed professors to figure out the things most important to student readiness for college, which sounds like a smart thing to do, and they said if you want students to do well in biology classes, they have to know about evolution. Which they simply didn't want to hear. Intelligent Design vs Evolution shenanigans, basically.
Smiley: oyvey

I really can't imagine how you could do anything medially-related these days if you didn't have a basic understanding of the theory. It's way too essential for day-to-day stuff to skip over. I mean teach it as a "theory" at least if you have to. It's better than having someone trying to get into medical school without a clue about how something simple like antibiotic resistance originated, much less more complicated stuff.
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#17 Jul 08 2014 at 1:12 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:

I'm assuming this is the whole solar output thingy massive bungled? Arguing that some other stuff is warmer, and ignoring any notion that solar effects aren't already in climate models. I suppose they pay the guy to represent their interests not learn about science stuff though.


It's not about anything. It's important to remember that this guy likely isn't actually a moron. He's just making arguments he think will be accepted by the people he represents. He doesn't believe that this is a good example. He thinks his constituents will think it's a good example. It's dangerous to underestimate the cynicism of politicians and assume ignorance.
Meh you give him too much credit, I blame apathy. It's like the guy who misspelled Proteomics on our website and slapped a picture of an MRI on there. There's no reason to sweat the details of something that is largely irrelevant to your job.
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#18 Jul 08 2014 at 1:13 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
It's important to remember that this guy likely isn't actually a moron. He's just making arguments he think will be accepted by the people he represents.


You can tell by the folksy "as far as I know" re: lack of factories on Mars. Oh, I can just see the clouds of coal dust rising from the slapped knees now.

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#19 Jul 08 2014 at 1:23 PM Rating: Excellent
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He clearly doesn't know about the oxygen factories and the three-breasted alien women.
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#20 Jul 08 2014 at 11:18 PM Rating: Good
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Well now we know the name of gbaji's alternate universe. In Academia he is surely a Prince.
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#21 Jul 09 2014 at 7:37 AM Rating: Excellent
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Debalic wrote:
Well now we know the name of gbaji's alternate universe. In Academia he is surely a Prince.
Of Nigeria.
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#22 Jul 09 2014 at 8:56 AM Rating: Excellent
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Debalic wrote:
Well now we know the name of gbaji's alternate universe. In Academia he is surely a Prince.
Of Nigeria.


Hello and warmest regards to you. I am Gbaji Mgumbe, Vice-President of the Nigerian Economic Petroleum Bank and contact you with a matter of utmost confidence and serious nature. I write to you because I understand you to be moral and virtuous person of trust. I have recently uncovered accounts of value of THIRTEEN MILLION DOLLARS ($13,000,000) without benefit of heir for deceased. I write to inform you that you may have none of this because you did not earn it like I did and you would only spend it on hash brownies and color video recorders instead of stimulating economy. Good day.

Edited, Jul 9th 2014 9:56am by Jophiel
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#23 Jul 09 2014 at 10:32 AM Rating: Good
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Smasharoo wrote:
in academia we all agree

I'm reasonable sure Gbaji could sue for copyright infringement on that sort of phrasing.


Smasharoo wrote:

I'm assuming this is the whole solar output thingy massive bungled? Arguing that some other stuff is warmer, and ignoring any notion that solar effects aren't already in climate models. I suppose they pay the guy to represent their interests not learn about science stuff though.


It's not about anything. It's important to remember that this guy likely isn't actually a moron. He's just making arguments he think will be accepted by the people he represents. He doesn't believe that this is a good example. He thinks his constituents will think it's a good example. It's dangerous to underestimate the cynicism of politicians and assume ignorance.
You really don't give him enough credit. The man has a B.A. in Political Science. Science. And he's a Shriner! Surely we can all agree that he speaks from a position of knowledge when it comes to these things. It's not a very big jump from that to academia, is it?

I think we should cut him some slack. I mean, if you take away that hyphen thingy in front of Mars' high temperature (-17 Celsius) you have the temperature somewhere here on earth.

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#24 Jul 09 2014 at 10:35 AM Rating: Excellent
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Shriner's some Illuminati shit. I bet they have a Mars base already and this guy is gonna get disappeared for spilling the secrets.
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#25 Jul 09 2014 at 12:11 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Shriner's some Illuminati shit. I bet they have a Mars base already and this guy is gonna get disappeared for spilling the secrets.

Could turn into a real circus.
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#26 Jul 09 2014 at 12:31 PM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Shriner's some Illuminati shit. I bet they have a Mars base already and this guy is gonna get disappeared for spilling the secrets.
Could turn into a real circus convention.
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#27 Jul 09 2014 at 1:36 PM Rating: Decent
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cynyck wrote:
I think we should cut him some slack. I mean, if you take away that hyphen thingy in front of Mars' high temperature (-17 Celsius) you have the temperature somewhere here on earth.

Actually even that isn't an unreasonable temperature, just north of 0F. We had week-long stretches of -20F just this winter; I'd speculate that those kind of temps are the norm in, say, Antarctica.
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#28 Jul 09 2014 at 2:24 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
you would only spend it on hash brownies and color video recorders instead of stimulating economy. Good day.


Hash brownies do stimulate the economy. They increase Doritos sales!
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#29 Jul 09 2014 at 4:45 PM Rating: Default
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At least this guy probably knows how many states are in the US. Or the difference between an inhaler and a breathalizer. And that's before even looking at the Vice President. Politicians say dumb things sometimes. Some of them rise to higher position within their party than others though.
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#30 Jul 09 2014 at 4:48 PM Rating: Excellent
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gbaji wrote:
At least this guy probably knows how many states are in the US.
Yes gbaji, there is a difference between conversation progression and changing the subject. Smiley: laugh
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#31 Jul 09 2014 at 4:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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gbaji wrote:
Politicians say dumb things sometimes.

Sometimes they say something dumb and erroneous and, rather than it being a slip of the tongue, instead insist that everyone knows it's true.

Not that you would know anything about that...
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#32 Jul 09 2014 at 5:14 PM Rating: Default
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lolgaxe wrote:
gbaji wrote:
At least this guy probably knows how many states are in the US.
Yes gbaji, there is a difference between conversation progression and changing the subject. Smiley: laugh


Let me know when the subject is changed then. We're making fun of politicians who say dumb things, right?
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#33 Jul 10 2014 at 4:22 AM Rating: Good
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No, we're making fun of someone who thinks mars has the same temperature as earth while you defend him because of the fact that he's republican.
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#34 Jul 10 2014 at 6:51 AM Rating: Good
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gbaji wrote:
At least this guy probably knows how many states are in the US.
Maybe. Maybe not.

Hard to say really.

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#35 Jul 10 2014 at 7:38 AM Rating: Good
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gbaji wrote:
Let me know when the subject is changed then.
Pattern recognition predicts this'll be futile.
gbaji wrote:
We're making fun of politicians who say dumb things, right?
We're making fun of Brandon Smith and I made fun of Kentucky.

Edited, Jul 10th 2014 9:38am by lolgaxe
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#36 Jul 10 2014 at 8:45 AM Rating: Excellent
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I made fun of Appalachia, ignorance and climate change deniers but NOT Walton Goggins.

I would also like to point out that this appears to be a prepared statement, not an off the cuff answer to a question at a press conference.
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#37 Jul 10 2014 at 9:24 AM Rating: Excellent
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
No, we're making fun of someone who thinks mars has the same temperature as earth
In light of these new facts he's now become aware of I suspect he may flip-flop a little on this matter.
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#38 Jul 10 2014 at 10:53 AM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
His Excellency Aethien wrote:
No, we're making fun of someone who thinks mars has the same temperature as earth
In light of these new facts he's now become aware of I suspect he may flip-flop a little on this matter.
Depends, if he's anything like Gbaji he'll just tell everybody that they're wrong and that he knows literally 200 times as much about mars as those sciency types.
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#39 Jul 10 2014 at 11:09 AM Rating: Excellent
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
someproteinguy wrote:
His Excellency Aethien wrote:
No, we're making fun of someone who thinks mars has the same temperature as earth
In light of these new facts he's now become aware of I suspect he may flip-flop a little on this matter.
Depends, if he's anything like Gbaji he'll just tell everybody that they're wrong and that he knows literally 200 times as much about mars as those sciency types.
Would he hide it under a mountainous volume of text too?
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"I asked fifteen of my science friends and they all knew exactly what I meant. Half of them were amazed with my insight and said they'd now be publishing papers on how Mars has the same temperature as Earth. This is because I used my deductive logic skills rather than any fancy science learning."
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#41 Jul 11 2014 at 7:53 AM Rating: Good
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All the conveniently anonymous private messages I get all the time seem to agree, so sure.
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#42 Jul 11 2014 at 8:22 AM Rating: Good
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I wish I had anonymous PM friends who message me to agree with anything I say.
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#43 Jul 11 2014 at 9:07 AM Rating: Excellent
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Time to make a sock puppet or five.
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#44 Jul 14 2014 at 6:44 PM Rating: Excellent
Debalic wrote:
cynyck wrote:
I think we should cut him some slack. I mean, if you take away that hyphen thingy in front of Mars' high temperature (-17 Celsius) you have the temperature somewhere here on earth.

Actually even that isn't an unreasonable temperature, just north of 0F. We had week-long stretches of -20F just this winter; I'd speculate that those kind of temps are the norm in, say, Antarctica.

Smiley: mad we had 30 days below -30 this year Smiley: frown

Edited, Jul 14th 2014 7:45pm by Xsarus
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#45 Jul 15 2014 at 6:09 AM Rating: Good
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Sir Xsarus wrote:
Debalic wrote:
cynyck wrote:
I think we should cut him some slack. I mean, if you take away that hyphen thingy in front of Mars' high temperature (-17 Celsius) you have the temperature somewhere here on earth.

Actually even that isn't an unreasonable temperature, just north of 0F. We had week-long stretches of -20F just this winter; I'd speculate that those kind of temps are the norm in, say, Antarctica.

Smiley: mad we had 30 days below -30 this year Smiley: frown

Edited, Jul 14th 2014 7:45pm by Xsarus

As if there was ever any doubt that Canada, the land mass, was brought to earth by the Martians and seeded with.....Canadians.

What does Xsarus mean in Martian?
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#46 Jul 15 2014 at 9:05 AM Rating: Excellent
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#47 Jul 15 2014 at 10:07 AM Rating: Good
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So all those crop circles just mean "We're sorry."
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#48 Jul 15 2014 at 10:47 AM Rating: Good
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
If he is actually that stupid, how did he ever get elected?


He probably got his information from intellectual giant Sheila Jackson Lee who, on a visit to JPL, asked one of the staff if the Mars Pathfinder had taken a picture of the flag planted by Neil Armstrong. On Mars. Maybe there's a thermometer on the flagpole.
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#49 Jul 15 2014 at 10:53 AM Rating: Excellent
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Somebody touched enough of a nerve for a drive-by angrygram! Smiley: laugh
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#50 Jul 15 2014 at 11:04 AM Rating: Decent
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He probably got his information from intellectual giant Sheila Jackson Lee


No way. He wouldn't talk to a black woman, silly, he's a Republican and therefore a racist. Like someone who would use just one of the 40 reps who happen to black as an example of stupid politicians. You know, fucking lazy and racist. Or possibly just too stupid to think of anything other than repeating some dog whistle bullsh*t pandered to them by Limbaugh et all. I assume we're never know. I'll just go with lazy racist. Occam's Razor and all that.

Edited, Jul 15th 2014 1:04pm by Smasharoo
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a whore. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#51 Jul 15 2014 at 11:22 AM Rating: Good
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Donbayne wrote:
His Excellency Aethien wrote:
If he is actually that stupid, how did he ever get elected?


He probably got his information from intellectual giant Sheila Jackson Lee who, on a visit to JPL, asked one of the staff if the Mars Pathfinder had taken a picture of the flag planted by Neil Armstrong. On Mars. Maybe there's a thermometer on the flagpole.


You seem like you're right of centre, so I rated you down.

Smiley: laugh
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