The Art of A LifetimeFollow

Walking along one day, your toe kicks at the top of a small glass bottle largely buried in the ground. You break off the top and out comes a being who describes herself as the daughter of a muse and a djinn, being given innate gifts in both art and wish-fulfillment and not being very talented in either. She makes you this offer as thanks for her release:

Everyone has an idea for what they think would be a kick-*** movie, novel, song, video game or something else related the arts. I will make this a reality for you and your work will be published and made known to the masses. But, I should let you know, I'm not very good at this. As such, while your work will be widely known, it will be known as one of the worst examples in its field. It will be the go-to name when someone says "We don't want another [X] on our hands" or the inevitable joke answer when someone asks "What [X] should I buy?" You will enjoy modest initial income from it, largely from selling it to the distributor, and small residual income as people buy it as a gag gift but you're going to need to keep your day job. When people meet you, they'll ask "Aren't you the person behind [X]?" It will be a generation before your work fades into obscurity. Here's the other thing: It can only be for a work you legitimately believe is good. I can't work with anything you're throwing out as a joke or aren't completely sincere about. Likewise, it's going to be presented as a sincere effort so no saying "I was just kidding" when asked about it. Still, if you want it, just say the word and I'll make it happen. Otherwise, I'll be on my way.

I would first know what the most popular tween thing is at the time, and hypnotize myself into liking it on the spot. Then I would use the being's power to make a movie for it.

Simply bad.

You'll always have the sincere belief that it was a good idea and perhaps even a good effort. Whether or not you'll be able to enjoy it knowing that everyone else hates it is up to your own outlook, I suppose.

I'd ask her if we could talk about it over dinner.

OR I'd take her up on it, but in some field I don't mind sucking at - a ****** song, maybe. I'd parley my infamy into a string of appearances on TV and radio, where I could lock horns with all the people anxious to cal me out for my ****** track.

Twilight is the ****** version of Twilight. It's like dividing by zero.

I'll have to vote no. Maybe without the hindsight I'd have agreed, but knowing it'll never be appreciated for it's awfulness kind of takes the wind out of that sail. As an aside, can't be much of a hypothetical if the Waynes Brothers seem to have found this Muse/Djinn already.

I can't do art, so I'd probably try and ****** with the muse for something paltry like a lifetime premium sub to Alakhazam's Magical Realm.

Still, if I did do art, I'd probably not buy into popular opinion. I'd write off the negative reviews as societal ignorance, naivete or something of that ilk. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

My Dad would hang my painting on his wall!

Uwe Boll keeps getting work somehow. I'd take the risk.

Had you said there was absolutely no magic powerful enough, you could have won a Gbaji Award.

Well, there are multiple Steven Seagal movies

People like explosions and cheesy movies with guns, tits and bandits.


Doesn't seem all that strange to me.

I already love horrible sci fi movies. A chance to make one?

Where is the downside?

I'd still do it, in fact I'd probably do a whole series of books or whatever. At this point anything "artistic" that comes from me is entirely self-indulgent anyway, why not get paid a modest amount to follow my muse? I'm mean I'm going to do it anyway.

If it's good enough for George Bush, well then it's good enough for me.

That feels like the second game of bowling. Where everyone was all "Weeee! Bowling!" for the first one so you play a second round and the momentum dies about three frames in.

You can apply that literally here: I'll be bored three frames into Sharknado 2.

Edited, Jul 9th 2014 11:32am by Jophiel