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#102 Mar 07 2014 at 9:38 AM Rating: Decent
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29,148 posts
Solution: Mirrored underpants.

Wait. Does this mean you don't have a giant penis? Because I think that's in the pre-nup.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a whore. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. @#%^ off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#103 Mar 07 2014 at 9:39 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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I'm thinking disco-ball underpants. With flashing LEDs. It's like a party and you're not invited, Mr. CreepyCams!

Edited, Mar 7th 2014 9:40am by Jophiel
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#104 Mar 07 2014 at 9:40 AM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
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28,129 posts
Plus, your night walks will be well lit!
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In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

#105 Mar 07 2014 at 9:40 AM Rating: Excellent
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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15,466 posts
I think a little message in your underpants that says, "if you can read this you're already infected".
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Alma wrote:
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#106 Mar 07 2014 at 9:42 AM Rating: Good
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29,148 posts
One would think you could sell premium ad space.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a whore. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. @#%^ off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#107 Mar 07 2014 at 9:43 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
*****
11,965 posts
That's only a solution for skinny people anyway. 1. I don't wear skirts that are short enough for this to be an issue. 2. I'm chubby enough that I don't have a problem keeping my thighs together (shut up, you know what I mean). I ride the subway every day. If some d-bag wants to go to the effort to try and get a shot of my thigh-cleavage, they can go for it. It would be flattering, like when I get carded by some well-meaning youngster at the grocery store.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#108 Mar 07 2014 at 9:44 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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15,466 posts
Smasharoo wrote:
One would think you could sell premium ad space.

Smash-Ad Undies.....

That's a truly great idea.
____________________________
Alma wrote:
Post and be happy!
#109 Mar 07 2014 at 9:48 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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15,466 posts
Nexa wrote:
That's only a solution for skinny people anyway. 1. I don't wear skirts that are short enough for this to be an issue. 2. I'm chubby enough that I don't have a problem keeping my thighs together (shut up, you know what I mean). I ride the subway every day. If some d-bag wants to go to the effort to try and get a shot of my thigh-cleavage, they can go for it. It would be flattering, like when I get carded by some well-meaning youngster at the grocery store.

Nexa

I don't even get carded anymore at the places with the big sign that says, "we card everyone". Smiley: frown

____________________________
Alma wrote:
Post and be happy!
#110 Mar 07 2014 at 9:53 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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11,965 posts
Elinda wrote:
Nexa wrote:
That's only a solution for skinny people anyway. 1. I don't wear skirts that are short enough for this to be an issue. 2. I'm chubby enough that I don't have a problem keeping my thighs together (shut up, you know what I mean). I ride the subway every day. If some d-bag wants to go to the effort to try and get a shot of my thigh-cleavage, they can go for it. It would be flattering, like when I get carded by some well-meaning youngster at the grocery store.

Nexa

I don't even get carded anymore at the places with the big sign that says, "we card everyone". Smiley: frown



You should say something like, "I guess you should have carded me!" and then pretend you're taking off your old person mask. Fall down in the struggle. Then jump up, throw down one of those little gunpowder cracker things like it's a smoke bomb, and run out the store cackling like a crazy person.

Note: Make sure you pay first.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#111 Mar 07 2014 at 9:53 AM Rating: Good
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43,073 posts
Nexa wrote:
Solution: Mirrored underpants.

Nexa
Combined with mirrored shoes we've got a whole new ballpark for Bloody Mary.
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#112 Mar 07 2014 at 9:54 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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Nexa wrote:
I don't wear skirts that are short enough for this to be an issue.

That's why I walk around with one of those snake-cameras like I'm doing septic tank inspections.
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#113 Mar 07 2014 at 9:54 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
*****
11,965 posts
Smasharoo wrote:
Solution: Mirrored underpants.

Wait. Does this mean you don't have a giant penis? Because I think that's in the pre-nup.


You wish, oh fan of musical theater and designer handbags.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#114 Mar 07 2014 at 9:55 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
*****
11,965 posts
Jophiel wrote:
Nexa wrote:
I don't wear skirts that are short enough for this to be an issue.

That's why I walk around with one of those snake-cameras like I'm doing septic tank inspections.


It's kinda the same thing.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#115 Mar 07 2014 at 9:57 AM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
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28,129 posts
"I'm checking for unattended embryos. Please stand still."

____________________________
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

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