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Valentines AnyoneFollow

#1 Feb 10 2014 at 12:02 PM Rating: Good
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If anyone wants to be mine, just slip a box of these bad babies into the mail send to Elinda @ zam.com (no swears plz).

Time is running out.
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#2 Feb 10 2014 at 12:06 PM Rating: Excellent
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I'm in the ultimate man's Valentine's Day sweet spot. One kid is too old for little paper cards at school, one is too young and my wife grew up in a culture that didn't revolve around one day being "Give candy and flowers to prove your love" day so she views the hoopla with amusement rather than desire.
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#3 Feb 10 2014 at 12:17 PM Rating: Excellent
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I made a reservation at a local Thai place for dinner. Then we'll come home and play video games on our new PS4. There will probably be cards exchanged.

That about sums it up for us.
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#4 Feb 10 2014 at 12:18 PM Rating: Excellent
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Belkira the Tulip wrote:
There will probably be cards exchanged.


Is this the new family-friendly wording required by Google?
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#5 Feb 10 2014 at 12:20 PM Rating: Good
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Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
There will probably be cards exchanged.


Is this the new family-friendly wording required by Google?


Not that I'm aware. I mean, we'll have sex as well, but I thought that was assumed.
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#6 Feb 10 2014 at 12:24 PM Rating: Good
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I don't think you can say sex here.

I'm getting one of them interactive cards for exchange with hubby. Smiley: blush
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#7 Feb 10 2014 at 12:30 PM Rating: Good
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Quote:
Not that I'm aware. I mean, we'll have sex as well, but I thought that was assumed.


Aren't you married?

Edited, Feb 10th 2014 6:30pm by Kavekk
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#8 Feb 10 2014 at 12:52 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kavekk wrote:
Quote:
Not that I'm aware. I mean, we'll have sex as well, but I thought that was assumed.


Aren't you married?

Edited, Feb 10th 2014 6:30pm by Kavekk


Yeah, but we don't have kids.
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#9 Feb 10 2014 at 12:56 PM Rating: Decent
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I'm in the ultimate man's Valentine's Day sweet spot. One kid is too old for little paper cards at school, one is too young and my wife grew up in a culture that didn't revolve around one day being "Give candy and flowers to prove your love" day so she views the hoopla with amusement rather than desire.

Also can probably call you an @#%^ in Quechua. My wife grew up in a culture that revolved around pine cones and not putting on airs, so while she does expect some sort of effort, daises are as good as roses.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a whore. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. @#%^ off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#10 Feb 10 2014 at 1:00 PM Rating: Good
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I'll probably just be sticking to my usual plan; spend the day single and bitter, and end it with not getting laid.
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#11 Feb 10 2014 at 1:10 PM Rating: Good
I got my wife a massage at a spa & we'll grab dinner in the Italian section downtown on Friday. She then gets to put me to bed as I have to be up at the ungodly hour of 5:30a on Saturday >.<
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#12 Feb 10 2014 at 1:11 PM Rating: Good
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Yeah, but we don't have kids.

Jesus, I don't think he was suggesting you bone the kids.

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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a whore. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. @#%^ off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#13 Feb 10 2014 at 1:14 PM Rating: Good
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Smasharoo wrote:
Yeah, but we don't have kids.

Jesus, I don't think he was suggesting you bone the kids.
That's reserved for prom night.
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#14 Feb 10 2014 at 1:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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I'll probably just be sticking to my usual plan; spend the day single and bitter, and end it with not getting laid.


Screenshot
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#15 Feb 10 2014 at 1:22 PM Rating: Good
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Smasharoo wrote:
I'm in the ultimate man's Valentine's Day sweet spot. One kid is too old for little paper cards at school, one is too young and my wife grew up in a culture that didn't revolve around one day being "Give candy and flowers to prove your love" day so she views the hoopla with amusement rather than desire.

Also can probably call you an @#%^ in Quechua. My wife grew up in a culture that revolved around pine cones and not putting on airs, so while she does expect some sort of effort, daises are as good as roses.

I'd not forego the chocolate.
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#16 Feb 10 2014 at 1:44 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
Also can probably call you an @#%^ in Quechua. My wife grew up in a culture that revolved around pine cones and not putting on airs, so while she does expect some sort of effort, daises are as good as roses.

Where she's from, they call pine cone "Maine Roses".
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#17 Feb 10 2014 at 2:41 PM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
If anyone wants to be mine, just slip a box of these bad babies into the mail send to Elinda @ zam.com (no swears plz).

Time is running out.
The other day at work, I overheard a Navy guy telling his buddy that he sent some of those to his wife and that they were better than sex. I commented that I suspected that he's doing it wrong.
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#18 Feb 10 2014 at 2:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
Elinda wrote:
If anyone wants to be mine, just slip a box of these bad babies into the mail send to Elinda @ zam.com (no swears plz).

Time is running out.
The other day at work, I overheard a Navy guy telling his buddy that he sent some of those to his wife and that they were better than sex. I commented that I suspected that he's doing it wrong.


Either that or he's really gay, and he's using the sweets to keep his camouflage happy.
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#19 Feb 10 2014 at 3:09 PM Rating: Good
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Where she's from, they call pine cone "Maine Roses".

It is the state flower. Really. Because they clearly let someone actually from Maine decide that.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a whore. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. @#%^ off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#20 Feb 10 2014 at 7:33 PM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
If anyone wants to be mine, just slip a box of these bad babies into the mail send to Elinda @ zam.com (no swears plz).

Time is running out.

Chocolate-covered strawberries have always been somewhat disappointing to me. Either the strawberry isn't very flavorful, or the chocolate just cracks and flakes off as you're trying to eat it. Maybe if they were dipped into still-warm melted chocolate. Or if I was being fed them by a naked woman, not by myself while wearing sweatpants.
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#21 Feb 10 2014 at 7:58 PM Rating: Excellent
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Or if I was being fed them by a naked woman, not by myself while wearing sweatpants.

Another Valentine's Day, another box of grocery-store chocolate covered strawberries and case of Natural Light.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#22 Feb 10 2014 at 8:07 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
I'm in the ultimate man's Valentine's Day sweet spot. One kid is too old for little paper cards at school, one is too young and my wife grew up in a culture that didn't revolve around one day being "Give candy and flowers to prove your love" day so she views the hoopla with amusement rather than desire.


But then you miss out on Steak and Blowjob Day.
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#23 Feb 10 2014 at 10:28 PM Rating: Good
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I'll be celebrating in the traditional way, by beating a priest with stones and a clubs, and then beheading him. What can I say, I'm a sucker for the the classics.
#24 Feb 11 2014 at 7:27 AM Rating: Good
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Not removing his heart and placing it on display in the window? @#%^ing commercialism ruins another holiday.
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#25 Feb 11 2014 at 8:10 AM Rating: Good
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I don't know what's going on for Vaentines Day here. We've always kept it low key, kids get a small box of chocolates and a card, Sick hates chocolate and hasn't done anything in years. But we're taking .... a romantic break right now and I'm not expecting anything.
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#26 Feb 11 2014 at 8:14 AM Rating: Good
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A romantic break?

Is that simply abstaining from sex?
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#27 Feb 11 2014 at 8:15 AM Rating: Excellent
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Well, I'm not in a relationship, so I offered to take my nephew for a few hours so my brother and his wife can have a night out and whatnot.
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#28 Feb 11 2014 at 8:18 AM Rating: Good
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Spoonless wrote:
Well, I'm not in a relationship, so I offered to take my nephew for a few hours so my brother and his wife can have a night out and whatnot.

That's pretty nice and a good excuse to go go-carting.
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#29 Feb 11 2014 at 8:23 AM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
A romantic break?

Is that simply abstaining from sex?

I don't want to say separation because that implies we live in different residences and there is a highly probable chance of splitting, which would be inaccurate. But essentially.... yeah. We're working on stuff and things are looking better, but we have a long road ahead of us before we get to partake in the carnal perks of wedded bliss. Smiley: bah
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#30 Feb 11 2014 at 8:34 AM Rating: Excellent
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Sorry to hear that. Hope you work it out.
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#31 Feb 11 2014 at 8:41 AM Rating: Good
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Well, I'm not in a relationship, so I offered to take my nephew for a few hours so my brother and his wife can have a night out and whatnot.

Shooting range. Valentines is the best shooting range day. Crying Navy Seals, angry women. It's the best.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a whore. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. @#%^ off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#32 Feb 11 2014 at 8:42 AM Rating: Good
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thank you
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DSD kicked Alma in the ass on another thread over the weekend. Clearly, she kicked too hard as he's obviously still feeling it.

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#33 Feb 11 2014 at 8:56 AM Rating: Good
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Sorry DSD. Hang in there. Smiley: flowers


I was just stood up by my husband for Friday night date...something about a giant snow storm - plowing all night - grumble grumble. Smiley: glare

I suspect I'll be needing a fermented replacement of some sort.



Edited, Feb 11th 2014 4:08pm by Elinda
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#34 Feb 11 2014 at 10:02 AM Rating: Good
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Good luck sorting stuff out DSD.
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#35 Feb 11 2014 at 10:05 AM Rating: Good
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Good luck, DSD. I'm sure it'll work out. Smiley: smile
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#36 Feb 11 2014 at 10:21 AM Rating: Excellent
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Smiley: frown

May your return to Google-censored exploits be as painless and swift as possible.
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#37 Feb 11 2014 at 11:19 AM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
Smiley: frown

May your return to Google-censored exploits be as painless and swift as possible.
Smiley: nod Make-up sex ftw.
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#38 Feb 11 2014 at 11:55 AM Rating: Excellent
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heh, thanks guys. We've been "separated" since October. Neither of us were sure if we'd make it then, but we've come a long way already. Despite it all, it may be the best thing we've ever done. We'll see =)
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#39 Feb 12 2014 at 5:58 PM Rating: Excellent
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Hope it works out DSD!

As for Valentine's Day, I've never had much use for it. I don't want a Hallmark holiday that tells me or my man that we have to buy each other stuff. Buy me stuff year round!
#40 Feb 12 2014 at 6:11 PM Rating: Excellent
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Nadenu wrote:
I don't want a Hallmark holiday that tells me or my man that we have to buy each other stuff. Buy me stuff year round!


How's that Xmas working out for you?
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#41 Feb 13 2014 at 8:04 AM Rating: Good
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I don't mind Valentine's day. We don't usually make a fuss over it, maybe exchanging cards and going to dinner or something, and I'm not one of those chicks that thinks Valentine's Day means HE has to get ME something. To me, it should be mutual.

And the Reese's hearts are good.
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I am eternally grateful.. for my knack of finding in great books, some of them very funny books, reason enough to feel honored to be alive, no matter what else might be going on.
#42 Feb 13 2014 at 8:09 AM Rating: Good
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Real hearts aren't half bad, either.
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#43 Feb 13 2014 at 8:24 AM Rating: Good
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The grocery store had some nice big strawberries on sale. Along side the strawberry bin they were featuring some of this Dolci shell chocolate. I guess I'm gonna try and make my own chocolate covered strawberries.

I can already taste the disappointment.
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#44 Feb 13 2014 at 8:28 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Real hearts aren't half bad, either.

Make sure you cook them through to at least 160F.

Varus, here's a Valentines 4U




Edited, Feb 13th 2014 3:32pm by Elinda
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#45 Feb 13 2014 at 9:05 AM Rating: Excellent
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Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
Nadenu wrote:
I don't want a Hallmark holiday that tells me or my man that we have to buy each other stuff. Buy me stuff year round!


How's that Xmas working out for you?

We don't buy each other things at Xmas either. Or Christmas.
#46 Feb 13 2014 at 9:07 AM Rating: Good
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All about the Kwanzaa, huh?
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#47 Feb 14 2014 at 4:30 PM Rating: Default
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Went to a nice seafood restaurant, came home and had to pull duty.
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#48 Feb 15 2014 at 8:56 AM Rating: Good
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Good luck DSD. My brother and his wife went through that, and are now coming through the other side and doing well now. They even went so far as to live separately for a while, but are now back together. I was pretty cynical about it and once she moved out I didn't think they'd make it, but things seem to have worked out.
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#49 Feb 15 2014 at 9:01 AM Rating: Excellent
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Almalieque wrote:
[...] had to pull duty.
Smiley: lol
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#50 Feb 15 2014 at 9:47 AM Rating: Good
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Spoonless wrote:
Almalieque wrote:
[...] had to pull duty.
Smiley: lol

Is duty yet another euphemism for a wiener?
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#51 Feb 15 2014 at 4:02 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kakar wrote:
Good luck DSD. My brother and his wife went through that, and are now coming through the other side and doing well now. They even went so far as to live separately for a while, but are now back together. I was pretty cynical about it and once she moved out I didn't think they'd make it, but things seem to have worked out.

Thanks. Actually it looks like the man is starting to court me Smiley: blush I woke up yesterday to find he had created a scavenger hunt for me to find little home made valentines with silly puns. I haven't had that much fun in years. And he invited me to go on a brewery tour tonight.

We're going to take it very slowly, but like I said earlier, I think "separating" was for the best. He's working on himself and both of us are learning not to take our love for granted. And if forcing us to step back and take things slowly brings out more of what he showed me yesterday, I'm all for it =)
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