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is it time to break the shotguns out yet?Follow

#1 Oct 23 2013 at 2:48 AM Rating: Good
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I know several of you spawned offspring. How are they doing? Are they scarily old already? Are they giving you white hairs? Are you proud as punch?
#2 Oct 23 2013 at 6:21 AM Rating: Excellent
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I know you probably weren't referring to me and my adult-offspring, none the less I'll share as my daughter just last weekend passed her first roller derby test. She's official 'freshmeat' for the Assault City Rollers, dubbed Centipede.

People actually buy tickets with real money to watch their Roller Derby bouts.
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#3 Oct 23 2013 at 6:33 AM Rating: Excellent
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Joph v3.0 just turned three today. Flea stayed home from work and is taking him to the Children's Museum for the day.

He's not scarily old yet but, by the time he's a teenager, I will be.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#4 Oct 23 2013 at 6:33 AM Rating: Good
Roller derby is the only "city" sport people around here care about. The university has all the classic sports snapped up so we don't even bother with a local baseball farm team. But we have Classic City Roller Girls, and they are beloved by their fellow townies.

Tell your daughter congrats for me. Hooray for joining one of the few female contact sports!
#5 Oct 23 2013 at 6:35 AM Rating: Excellent
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Catwho wrote:
Hooray for joining one of the few female contact sports!

Don't forget hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#6 Oct 23 2013 at 6:44 AM Rating: Good
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We found out yesterday that the children's bio-dad is taking wifey back to court to renegotiate the child support he's not been paying.
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#7 Oct 23 2013 at 6:52 AM Rating: Good
Uglysasquatch wrote:
We found out yesterday that the children's bio-dad is taking wifey back to court to renegotiate the child support he's not been paying.

If he negotiates it to lower but actually does pay it, does that count as a win?
#8 Oct 23 2013 at 8:02 AM Rating: Good
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If he goes away forever, that's a win. Reducing it won't get him to pay it. It could be $5 and he wouldn't pay it.
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#9 Oct 23 2013 at 8:11 AM Rating: Good
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Uglysasquatch wrote:
If he goes away forever, that's a win. Reducing it won't get him to pay it. It could be $5 and he wouldn't pay it.
Sounds like you two get along great.
#10 Oct 23 2013 at 9:01 AM Rating: Good
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My ex got the VA to pay for them to go to college and get a degree, but then refused to get job, so they wouldn't be able to pay back child support. VA found out he owe it anyway, so he has money taken out each month. Most of the money is kept by the state to cover what benefits they given me and I get token $20 a month on a pre-paid credit card.

I wish him out of my life, but my girls keep in touch with her and sometimes I find myself in same room having to be nice.

My girls are doing well for the most part. Two oldest have stay busy working seasonal jobs and volunteering for various events. I had to take them shopping for outfits they can wear at their jobs selling glass objects for the holidays, since they both gain weight. I We also exchanged clothes since I lost weight at same time they were gaining.

Youngest is spending her time getting work on their house, so they can sell it next year and move nearer husbands new job. Meantime she a full time step mother of 2, while he commutes to and from his job, with weekends at home, while his girls see their mother.
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#11 Oct 23 2013 at 9:34 AM Rating: Excellent
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Oldest is about to turn 5, she wants a puppy, and I'm not so convinced it's a good idea. We started with a tree frog that her grandpa caught for her earlier this spring. After about 5 months it's nice and fat and spoiled. The hope was to move up to something like a fancy mouse or a hamster or the like after froggy croaked Smiley: clown, but she says she doesn't want one. Realistically I think she actually wouldn't mind having one, she's just playing hardball knowing mom will eventually cave under the pressure. Shrewd that one is.

Littlest one is potty training, still. It took us a whole day to potty train the first, this one on the other hand doesn't care at all if she pees on herself, or anywhere else for that matter. I have soggy underwear? Meh, whatever. Carrot and stick help, but only sometimes. She has a lot of endurance for the stick, and the carrot only helps if she feels like the carrot at the time.

So basically I married a strong-willed woman, got 2 strong-willed daughters, and now spend my time hiding in "daddy's corner" lost in some fantasy land on the computer. preferably one filled with scantily-clad strong-willed women, of course Smiley: nod
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#12 Oct 23 2013 at 10:04 AM Rating: Good
Might I recommend a guinea pig? Cuteness of a puppy, except they never get any bigger. Their tiny, banana shaped poops are relatively easy for a kid to clean. They purr like a cat. They also live longer than hamsters and don't smell as bad.

Just don't feed them toilet paper. One of my friends fed mine TP and it ended in tragic, lethal obstructive bowel problems. Smiley: cry
#13 Oct 23 2013 at 10:29 AM Rating: Excellent
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Catwho wrote:
Might I recommend a guinea pig?
It sounds like a good idea, one that's come up in conversation, and might just happen. It seems like it would fit the whole apt. living thing better than a dog (because going outside to pee in the rain 9-months a year is fun), or a cat (there's no place for a litter box really), and we don't want to buy something small and fluffy if she really doesn't want it.

Either way I think for my own sanity we need to limit ourselves to one individual peeing on the floor at a time. I'll have an easier time fathoming a pet once we finish potty training. Smiley: lol

Edited, Oct 23rd 2013 9:45am by someproteinguy
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#14 Oct 23 2013 at 10:33 AM Rating: Good
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
Uglysasquatch wrote:
If he goes away forever, that's a win. Reducing it won't get him to pay it. It could be $5 and he wouldn't pay it.
Sounds like you two get along great.
We do typically. Because this is the first time we've heard from him in 4 years.
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#15 Oct 23 2013 at 7:52 PM Rating: Good
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Hannah is scarily old. The boy is scarily close to albino. Most frequent question people ask me at the playground is "is his mother blonde?" I usually answer "No! West African. Genetics is weird, isn't it?"
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#16 Oct 23 2013 at 9:24 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
Genetics is weird, isn't it?"
Well there's at least one Roma family who'd be in full agreement with you.
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#17 Oct 24 2013 at 9:25 AM Rating: Good
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Recessive genes is tricksy. (I'd feel worse for the Roma couple if they didn't have 11 *missing* children. But it's probably all been hard on the little girl.)

Good to hear about all the Alla kinder, young and old.
#18 Oct 24 2013 at 5:17 PM Rating: Good
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Well, my elder is a brightly shining star in his kindergarten class; he took the most adorable class picture ever. The younger seems to be developing a bit slowly; there may be some reason for concern but I think it's still too early to worry much.
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#19 Oct 24 2013 at 5:56 PM Rating: Excellent
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Not strangely enough, I have a shotgun with beanbag rounds stashed away.

My spawn is doing well. Maybe a little too smart for her own good.
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#20 Oct 25 2013 at 12:27 PM Rating: Decent
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I'd feel worse for the Roma couple if they didn't have 11 *missing* children

It's culturally not a big deal for children to be cared for by various families. I'd feel worse for the other family who had the blonde child taken away who they incidentally happened to give birth to.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

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