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Horay! Tom Clancy is dead! Follow

#1 Oct 02 2013 at 11:11 AM Rating: Default
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We can only assume of prescription painkiller overdose or the like.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/03/books/tom-clancy-best-selling-novelist-of-military-thrillers-dies-at-66.html

Tom Clancy, whose complex, adrenaline-fueled military novels made him one of the world’s best-selling and best-known authors, died on Tuesday in a hospital in Baltimore. He was 66.

Man, I love a good terrible, terrible, terrible author's death. This is slightly more exciting than when Robert Jordan (aka Jimmy Ringley) died, and obviously a pale shadow of the global celebration by people who can read that will follow Dan Brown's inevitable death by falling illuminanti sculpture.
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#2 Oct 02 2013 at 11:14 AM Rating: Good
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I like Clancy a zillion times more than Dan Brown. But there's already a thread about this in the OoT.
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#3 Oct 02 2013 at 11:16 AM Rating: Excellent
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This one has a distinctly different tone though.
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#4 Oct 02 2013 at 11:18 AM Rating: Excellent
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there's already a thread about this in the OoT.

Who gives a fuck? It's a news story. There are threads everywhere I'm sure. The idea that I'm going to check OOT before I comment on current events is preposterous.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#5 Oct 02 2013 at 11:18 AM Rating: Excellent
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Just as well, research is a waste of time anyway.
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#6 Oct 02 2013 at 11:21 AM Rating: Good
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Smasharoo wrote:
It's a news story.
Or what passes for one.
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#7 Oct 02 2013 at 11:22 AM Rating: Good
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I like Clancy a zillion times more than Dan Brown.

Well Dan Brown almost certainly requires assistance to type, being easily confused by the symbolic puzzles of QWERTY. His assistant, tall handsome Oxford educated typist Simon Huntandpeckington happily punches the plastic keys of the device that contains letters and allows them to pass electronically from the users hands and into the central processing unit of the box that holds the computer...for him.

Clancy is a horrible writer. Probably worse for me than most people. I imagine lawyers probably don't like to read John Grisham, etc.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#8 Oct 02 2013 at 11:24 AM Rating: Decent
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Just as well, research is a waste of time anyway.

The dictionary called and said "fuck you". Checking OOT is research? Of what? Reddit from 3 weeks ago?
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#9 Oct 02 2013 at 11:26 AM Rating: Excellent
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I assume my Splinter Cell games have just skyrocketed in value.
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#10 Oct 02 2013 at 11:30 AM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
Just as well, research is a waste of time anyway.
rate up. Smiley: grin
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#11 Oct 02 2013 at 11:43 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
I assume my Splinter Cell games have just skyrocketed in value.


They're now worth a can of soda, three buttons AND a hula hoop!
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#12 Oct 02 2013 at 11:45 AM Rating: Good
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Kavekkk wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
I assume my Splinter Cell games have just skyrocketed in value.


They're now worth a can of soda, three buttons AND a hula hoop!

Or 4 batcoins. Take your pick.
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#13 Oct 02 2013 at 11:52 AM Rating: Good
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I could certainly use a hula hoop.
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#14 Oct 02 2013 at 12:36 PM Rating: Decent
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It's a shame that Stephen King will never die.
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#15 Oct 02 2013 at 12:39 PM Rating: Excellent
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Debalic wrote:
It's a shame that Stephen King will never die.


He has to keep writing himself into his books in order to keep the spell that binds him to this world active.
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#16 Oct 02 2013 at 12:40 PM Rating: Excellent
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He's been dead for the best part of a decade. He's being ghost-written by a pair of slippers possessed by the spirits of the unburied dead.
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#17 Oct 02 2013 at 1:15 PM Rating: Good
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Kavekkk wrote:
He's been dead for the best part of a decade. He's being ghost-written by a pair of slippers possessed by the spirits of the unburied dead.


Coincidentally the plot of his next novel.
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#18 Oct 02 2013 at 1:33 PM Rating: Excellent
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The twist is it was actually the table lamp all along.
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#19 Oct 02 2013 at 1:34 PM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
The twist is it was actually the table lamp all along.


King, not Shamalamadingdong.
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#20 Oct 02 2013 at 5:38 PM Rating: Excellent
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The hunt for Red October was awsome. Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't get to like submarines.
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#21 Oct 02 2013 at 9:01 PM Rating: Decent
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
The hunt for Red October was awsome. Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't get to like submarines.

I never knew there were so many things in an engine room that don't react well to bullets.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#22 Oct 02 2013 at 9:02 PM Rating: Excellent
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Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
The twist is it was actually the table lamp all along.


King, not Shamalamadingdong.

You're not even trying anymore, are you.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#23 Oct 02 2013 at 11:49 PM Rating: Good
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Debalic wrote:
Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
The twist is it was actually the table lamp all along.


King, not Shamalamadingdong.

You're not even trying anymore, are you.


When can I have it....


Edited, Oct 3rd 2013 1:50am by RavennofTitan
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#24 Oct 03 2013 at 5:46 AM Rating: Decent
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The hunt for Red October was awsome. Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't get to like submarines.

The submarine parts are, I assume, fine. I've never been aboard a submarine. The intelligence parts are laugh out loud stupid.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#25 Oct 03 2013 at 7:25 AM Rating: Excellent
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Stand in a narrow hall and punch yourself in the ear a couple of times. Congratulations, you're on a submarine.
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#26 Oct 03 2013 at 7:49 AM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
The hunt for Red October was awsome. Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't get to like submarines.

The submarine parts are, I assume, fine. I've never been aboard a submarine. The intelligence parts are laugh out loud stupid.


Well sure, that's a given. But you read it for the submarine parts.
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