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Obama hates children's birthdaysFollow

#1 Sep 27 2013 at 10:18 AM Rating: Excellent
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Congress got bored with crashing the US government and economy into the ground and decided to do something:
Washington Post wrote:
That's right, there's a global helium crisis. Thanks to an obscure 1996 law, the Federal Helium Reserve is scheduled to shut its doors on Oct. 7, locking 10 billion cubic feet of helium underground and immediately shutting off 35 percent of the world's helium supply.
[...]
But here's good news: The helium cliff is no longer nigh! On Thursday, the House and Senate both approved a bill that would keep the Federal Helium Reserve open for years to come. (President Obama has indicated he will sign the bill.) Lawmakers have essentially averted a fiasco of their own making.

On top of that, the bill would also end, slowly, the Helium Reserve's practice of giving away the gas for below-market rates, a practice that has led to excessive waste and has prevented the private sector from developing its own sources of the scarce resource.

No more cheap licensed cartoon helium balloons from Party City? For shame, Mr. President. Smiley: disappointed
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#2 Sep 27 2013 at 10:23 AM Rating: Good
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I was worried there for a second of another Macy's Day Parade fiasco like in '06.
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#3 Sep 27 2013 at 10:29 AM Rating: Excellent
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Yay for anything that makes helium cheaper. That stuff is expensive. Smiley: glare
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#4 Sep 27 2013 at 10:40 AM Rating: Excellent
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Erm, it's going to become more expensive. The government had been liquidating its stock at below-market prices for years. They'll stop doing so and eventually change their pricing to match market prices.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#5 Sep 27 2013 at 10:43 AM Rating: Excellent
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You mean this isn't where the private sector comes swooping in and develops efficient and practical means of providing a resource for lower cost than the government can? Smiley: frown
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That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
#6 Sep 27 2013 at 10:43 AM Rating: Excellent
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Protein can't actually read. The whole Scientist thing is an elaborate prank.
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#7 Sep 27 2013 at 10:44 AM Rating: Excellent
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someproteinguy wrote:
You mean this isn't where the private sector comes swooping in and develops efficient and practical means of providing a resource for lower cost than the government can? Smiley: frown

No. Because government.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#8 Sep 27 2013 at 10:49 AM Rating: Good
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Everyone knows Obama is in the pocket of Big Hydrogen.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#9 Sep 27 2013 at 10:56 AM Rating: Excellent
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Dangerous business for someone with such an electric personality.
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That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
#10 Sep 27 2013 at 10:59 AM Rating: Excellent
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But with how he's ruined the country it's an apt Hindenburg analogy.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#11 Sep 27 2013 at 11:03 AM Rating: Decent
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But with how he's ruined the country it's an apt Hindenburg analogy.

The thing to do here, is to actually MAKE an apt Hindenburg analogy, not explain how it might be funny were someone to do so. I lob these easy softballs at you bastards and this is what I get? Oh the humanity.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#12 Sep 27 2013 at 11:04 AM Rating: Excellent
Meat Popsicle
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2nd term presidents usually flame out about now anyway.
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That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
#13 Sep 27 2013 at 11:21 AM Rating: Good
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Smasharoo wrote:
I lob these easy softballs at you bastards and this is what I get?
You want effort, put effort in.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#14 Sep 27 2013 at 11:36 AM Rating: Excellent
Meat Popsicle
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lolgaxe wrote:
Smasharoo wrote:
I lob these easy softballs at you bastards and this is what I get?
You want effort, put effort in.
That's a lie. If I put my effort somewhere the minute I turn my back one of you bastards will run off with it.

I've got my eye on you!

Smiley: tinfoilhat

[:shotgun:]
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That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
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