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If only anyone in the Navy had a gun...Follow

#1 Sep 16 2013 at 9:29 AM Rating: Excellent
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http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/police-search-for-active-shooter-on-grounds-of-washington-navy-yard-in-southeast-dc/2013/09/16/b1d72b9a-1ecb-11e3-b7d1-7153ad47b549_story.html

Police now believe two shooters, including one in fatigues, have killed four people and wounded eight others at the Washington Navy Yard on Monday, throwing the region into fear and chaos during the morning commute.

At least one of the shooters is “down,” police said mid-morning, but it was unclear whether that means the suspect has been arrested or shot. They said the other suspect remains at large, and police believe they have pinned down one between the third and fourth floors of one of the buildings on the installation in Southeast Washington.


Still in the early "let's just fucking guess" stage of news reporting, but it's become increasingly clear that gun control advocates have just full stop lost this debate. Nothing will come of this, random shootings of vulnerable and less vulnerable people is something the US population clearly is ok with if it allows them to feel personally safer or more powerful in some way. Oh well.
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#2 Sep 16 2013 at 9:34 AM Rating: Excellent
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Second Amendment God demands blood sacrifice!

Does the Navy have guns? Maybe they could have thrown a boat at him.
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#3 Sep 16 2013 at 9:36 AM Rating: Excellent
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Why haven't they started shelling the possible location of the second shooter in order to flush him out?
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#4 Sep 16 2013 at 9:37 AM Rating: Good
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It's not the Navy's guns you have to worry about, but one of them swimming up your toilet and strangling you to death.
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#5 Sep 16 2013 at 9:41 AM Rating: Excellent
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Does the Navy have guns?

In theory. Mostly they dress up as Donald Duck and ferry Marines around to do fighting. I did see a few shooting the water once, fighting Poseidon, but those were probably personal arms.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#6 Sep 16 2013 at 9:47 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
It's not the Navy's guns you have to worry about, but one of them swimming up your toilet and strangling you to death.


The Navy is recruiting petshop pythons now?
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#7 Sep 16 2013 at 10:16 AM Rating: Good
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They're cheaper to train and sustain. I'm pretty sure my job could be done by a hamster.
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#8 Sep 16 2013 at 10:20 AM Rating: Good
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In the Navy it's pythons with guns.
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#9 Sep 16 2013 at 10:34 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
Does the Navy have guns?
Yes, they don't work on land though.
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#10 Sep 16 2013 at 11:42 AM Rating: Good
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Seven dead now and perhaps a bad guy, or two, on the loose.

ARMED AND DANGEROUS - DO NOT APPROACH WITHOUT A PROTECTION GUN.
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#11 Sep 16 2013 at 11:45 AM Rating: Excellent
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Clearly the Navy should recruit more blind people.
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#12 Sep 16 2013 at 12:00 PM Rating: Good
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****. Death toll went from 0-4 since I checked the news this morning. Smiley: frown

You know you're jaded about mass shootings when "only 12 wounded? that's not so bad" is your first thought.

Edited, Sep 16th 2013 2:00pm by Catwho
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#13 Sep 16 2013 at 12:50 PM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
Clearly the Navy should recruit more blind people.
Maybe you can recruit Bijou for them?
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#14 Sep 16 2013 at 1:04 PM Rating: Excellent
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If you want to kill someone, you can just do it with a knife, a fork, a pencil, a paperclip, a folded notebook paper ninja star, etc.

So obviously no one there wanted these guys dead. Else they would have been paperclipped to death.
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#15 Sep 16 2013 at 1:12 PM Rating: Good
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Swingline makes an attachment that turns their standard stapler into a semi-automatic.




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#16 Sep 16 2013 at 1:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
Swingline makes an attachment that turns their standard stapler into a semi-automatic.


Screenshot


Edited, Sep 16th 2013 3:15pm by Shaowstrike
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#17 Sep 16 2013 at 1:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
Elinda wrote:
Swingline makes an attachment that turns their standard stapler into a semi-automatic.


Screenshot


Edited, Sep 16th 2013 3:15pm by Shaowstrike



If there were an "Appropriate usage of a goofy meme" award, you should win it.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#18 Sep 16 2013 at 2:36 PM Rating: Good
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The Navy mostly just has mops and such, but that's why they keep the Marines around.

**** shame, are people getting crazier or just more angry? I blame video games.....




/duck
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#19 Sep 16 2013 at 2:43 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kakar wrote:
I blame video games.....
It's all the media's fault for sensationalizing it and encouraging the copycats. If they'd just stop reporting gun crimes no one would feel the need to shoot anyone ever again.
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#20 Sep 16 2013 at 3:31 PM Rating: Excellent
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Given this further proof that American Citizens are repeatedly subjected to inhumane & terrorising incidents, we can only hope that countries with a conscience will get a UN resolution passed to intervene against this heartless regime.

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#21 Sep 16 2013 at 3:41 PM Rating: Excellent
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In before Gbaji blames Obama.
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#22 Sep 16 2013 at 3:53 PM Rating: Default
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It seems to me that these days in the US you are more likely to be killed by a public servant in uniform.

I read that story and then looked to see how many people had been killed by the police annually. Its surprisingly hard to find an answer, tho lolwiki says 587 last year.

If you type Police +brutality+US into YouTube then it returns almost 700,000 results.

I spose a dozen deaths in one event is more newsworthy but when you see pictures like this or this, I do wonder if the Gbaji 'right to bear arms' crowd may have a point.
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#23 Sep 16 2013 at 4:02 PM Rating: Excellent
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If you type cannibal into youtube you get 1.7m results. That sure is a lot of proof about cannibalism!
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#24 Sep 16 2013 at 4:04 PM Rating: Excellent
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paulsol wrote:
If you type Police +brutality+US into YouTube then it returns almost 700,000 results.
If you type blah + blah + blah into youtube you get 1.6 million hits.

Smiley: cool
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#25 Sep 16 2013 at 4:06 PM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
If you type cannibal into youtube you get 1.7m results. That sure is a lot of proof about cannibalism!


People were probably trying to spell Cannabis Smiley: bah in the title of their video, but were too high to get it right/use spell checker.

Edited, Sep 16th 2013 6:07pm by Shaowstrike
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#26 Sep 16 2013 at 4:07 PM Rating: Good
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Perhaps it just means that there is more cannibalism than we suspected?

I already knew blah+blah +blah was rampant on the interwebz thanks. Whats your point?

Edited, Sep 16th 2013 10:08pm by paulsol
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