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My deep condolences to Arizona.Follow

#1 Jul 01 2013 at 5:56 AM Rating: Good
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Hope the wildfires and the awful consequences have passed The Asylum by.
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#2 Jul 01 2013 at 6:29 AM Rating: Good
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Got hates racial profiling is the message, Arizona.
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#3 Jul 01 2013 at 6:37 AM Rating: Excellent
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Wildfires? Burning sand must suck.
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#4 Jul 01 2013 at 7:51 AM Rating: Excellent
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God hates gays, Mexicans, and gun control, but clearly not Arizona since this is nature.
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#5 Jul 01 2013 at 9:41 AM Rating: Excellent
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Saw the story earlier, wishing the best for the families and such. Hopefully they can pin down what exactly happened to those guys. That kind of loss is just unheard of.

Smiley: frown
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#6 Jul 01 2013 at 10:45 AM Rating: Decent
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I'm reasonably certain this is a hoax. There's nothing but rocks in Arizona and those don't burn.
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#7 Jul 01 2013 at 10:49 AM Rating: Excellent
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Thats very clsoe to where I went to college. Near as I can tell from the map, thats right near where my stunt kite flying field was. Which makes me extra sad. condolences to the families of those brave firefighters.
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#8 Jul 01 2013 at 4:38 PM Rating: Excellent
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someproteinguy wrote:
Hopefully they can pin down what exactly happened to those guys.


Brûlées

Duh.
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#9 Jul 02 2013 at 7:38 AM Rating: Good
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Burning up in a forest fire would not be my preferred way to go.
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#10 Jul 02 2013 at 9:15 AM Rating: Good
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As far as deaths go, it's pretty spectacular.
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#11 Jul 02 2013 at 9:17 AM Rating: Excellent
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Going out in a blaze of glory?
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#12 Jul 02 2013 at 9:19 AM Rating: Good
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Plus you save your beneficiaries money since they don't have to pay for cremation.
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#13 Jul 02 2013 at 9:20 AM Rating: Good
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You'd probably die before the pain hits you.
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#14 Jul 02 2013 at 9:28 AM Rating: Good
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You'd probably die before the pain hits you.

Quaint idea, but probably not. More likely, you'd be in fear for your life for quite a while as a sense of hopelessness overtook you when you realized you were surrounded by fire. Your brain would insist you try to flee the flames, and these are people educated in how best to do that, so likely they first suffered painful minor burns and died in a sense of horror and panic, thrashing around desperately seeking a way to avoid being burned alive and failing. Since it's unlikely they died simultaneously, it's also likely that some of the last to die did so with the scent of their friends burning flesh filling their nostrils, wondering what they had done to deserve such punishment.

Most deaths aren't quick or painless, unfortunately.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a whore. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#15 Jul 02 2013 at 9:37 AM Rating: Excellent
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Suffocate before burning up? Not that that sounds any better... Smiley: rolleyes

Suddenly jumping off a bridge doesn't seem so bad. Smiley: lol Unless you'd like to ruin that one too.

Edited, Jul 2nd 2013 8:37am by someproteinguy
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#16 Jul 02 2013 at 9:43 AM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
Suddenly jumping off a bridge doesn't seem so bad. Smiley: lol Unless you'd like to ruin that one too.



Water is shallower than it looks, and you land partially submerged with broken limbs but still conscious. Constantly being aware of the water filling your lungs, while being unable to adjust your position and only managing to thrash around in place.
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#17 Jul 02 2013 at 10:00 AM Rating: Excellent
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So much thrashing about. Smiley: disappointed

Maybe those suicide bomber guys have it all figured out. They get all blown to pieces, seems pretty instantaneous.
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#18 Jul 02 2013 at 10:04 AM Rating: Good
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Mostly liquified.
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#19 Jul 02 2013 at 10:09 AM Rating: Good
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Ragu all over the walls.
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#20 Jul 02 2013 at 10:11 AM Rating: Good
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Jumping off a building seems like a more enjoyable way to commit suicide than blowing yourself up. Pretty instantaneous death too if you jump from a high enough building.
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Aethien you take more terrible pictures than a Japanese tourist.
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#21 Jul 03 2013 at 6:20 AM Rating: Good
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
Jumping off a building seems like a more enjoyable way to commit suicide than blowing yourself up. Pretty instantaneous death too if you jump from a high enough building.
The thrill of the ride down would be overshadowed by the worry over the landing.

Drowning seems like a peaceful way to go.
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#22 Jul 03 2013 at 6:47 AM Rating: Good
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Assuming you want to die, the landing wouldn't be much of a concern, just look up.

And drowning seems like an awful way to go, slowly suffocating and panic while your lungs fill up with water instead of air.
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Aethien you take more terrible pictures than a Japanese tourist.
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One day, Maz, you'll learn not to click on anything Aeth links.
#23 Jul 03 2013 at 7:38 AM Rating: Good
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High enough hitting the water isn't much different than hitting pavement. Just the added bonus that if you do manage to survive the landing you'll die anyway.
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#24 Jul 03 2013 at 8:58 AM Rating: Good
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Smasharoo wrote:
Most deaths aren't quick or painless, unfortunately.

I'm hoping my wife at least gives me that much courtesy.
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#25 Jul 03 2013 at 5:47 PM Rating: Good
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This story is kind of weird for me, because I live in the Pine Barrens. Wildfire is just part of life here. Pine trees require fires to reproduce, so it's just sort of a thing that happens, and you don't think about it until they're actually evacuating people a few streets down. I mean, I smell forest fires all the time, from controlled burns.

We have amazing fire departments because of it, but I had never actually heard of hotshot crews before this. Apparently we only use them for the biggest fires, and they get sent out to us from the West. Otherwise we use specialized machinery to dig ditches/hew trees for firebreaks. These just get maintained, breaking the woods into sectors, and we cut new ones as-needed.

But I also recognize that it's probably a LOT easier to handle this when A. a lot of the Pine Barrens is a nature preserve and B. it's a single (albeit large) area where the problems arise, not areas throughout the entire state that catch fire spontaneously from drought.

Here's to the people in Arizona who are in danger from the fire, and the fire fighters who gave their lives. [:cheers:]
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#26 Jul 03 2013 at 6:05 PM Rating: Excellent
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You haven't seen any stray Russian commandos running around, have you?

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#27 Jul 03 2013 at 6:24 PM Rating: Excellent
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idiggory, King of Bards wrote:
Otherwise we use specialized machinery to dig ditches/hew trees for firebreaks.

Does it go around the Mafia corpse-dump sites or just go through them?
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#28 Jul 03 2013 at 8:38 PM Rating: Good
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I only know of one body dump that happened in my town. It was actually about a 2 minute walk from my house. There's a CVS there now. We're sophisticated now.

I haven't thought about that in at least a decade, oddly enough.

[EDIT]

I just looked it up; 1999. Guy was wearing a dark suit with maroon pin-striping, with gunshot wounds to his head and chest...

Edited, Jul 3rd 2013 10:41pm by idiggory
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#29 Jul 04 2013 at 7:16 AM Rating: Good
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This is why everyone should have a Godfather in the construction business.
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#30 Jul 04 2013 at 8:39 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
This is why everyone should have a Godfather in the construction business.

Or know a guy with a pig farm.
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