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The anti-bully movement.Follow

#1 Apr 28 2013 at 4:06 PM Rating: Good
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Was watching Cartoon Network and I noticed a half hour special came on "The Bully Effect". And I've noticed a lot of commercials on CN and Nickelodeon really pushing the whole anti-bully thing. I was bullied quite a bit through late elementary school and most of junior high. It all went away when I was in high school and joined the football team. Not because I was suddenly popular or large and strong from football, but being part of the team made most people who used to be indifferent to me or even those that bullied just stop. That and it seems that most of them matured since junior high.

I understand the verbal and physical abuse aspect. But I remembered one commercial about bullying that came on Cartoon Network, and it showed a group of girls at a lunch table, another walks up, the ones sitting refuse to let her sit with them. Then the one of the stars of a CN show says something along the lines of "Sometimes it works both ways" and it cuts to later where the girl that was shunned previously is now also shunning one of the girls that used to be at the table. Is that really a type of bullying they are trying to 'fight'? Is not being nice to someone the same as bullying?

Also, relevant.
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#2 Apr 28 2013 at 6:51 PM Rating: Excellent
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I've now tried posting a response 6 times but after 90 seconds of typing, Zam eats my goddam post. I'm being bullied here!!! Smiley: mad

I give up =(
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#3 Apr 28 2013 at 7:46 PM Rating: Excellent
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I admit, I have given up trying to determine how much of the bullying story is a real problem, and how much is overprotective parenting and the 24-hour news cycle. I don't have kids, so maybe I haven't been paying as much attention as I could have.

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#4 Apr 28 2013 at 8:10 PM Rating: Good
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I was bullied as a kid through elementary and middle school. The turning point for me was Christmas in 7th grade, when my mother found a great deal on a Charlotte Hornet's Starter jacket. When I showed up in January wearing that silly, expensive, and oh so very fashionable thing, the bullying slowed down a lot. It was gone by 8th grade.

The low point was 6th grade when someone stuck gum in my hair. Smiley: frown

In the end, I turned out okay. If anything, I developed a rather stoic personality as a result of it all.

Edited, Apr 28th 2013 10:11pm by Catwho
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#5 Apr 28 2013 at 8:35 PM Rating: Excellent
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DSD wrote:
I've now tried posting a response 6 times but after 90 seconds of typing, Zam eats my goddam post. I'm being bullied here!!! Smiley: mad

I give up =(


what broweser are you using, and what specifically happens at 90 seconds?
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#6 Apr 28 2013 at 9:21 PM Rating: Good
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
DSD wrote:
I've now tried posting a response 6 times but after 90 seconds of typing, Zam eats my goddam post. I'm being bullied here!!! Smiley: mad

I give up =(


what broweser are you using, and what specifically happens at 90 seconds?

It's happened twice when trying to post this. Im on my new surface using i.e. Basically the screen "blinks" and everything I type is gone. I have to start again.

Sick thinks that it might be because one of the advertisements refreshing and something in my surface doen't like that. Ive used i.e. before with no issues. This is the first night I've ever seen this issue. tried typing on three other forums with no problems. Only Zam...

Edited, Apr 28th 2013 11:22pm by DSD
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#7 Apr 28 2013 at 10:09 PM Rating: Decent
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I was bullied a lot throughout school. It pretty much ended when I tried to blow it up and got kicked out.
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#8 Apr 29 2013 at 12:17 AM Rating: Good
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I don't know how it is that I keep forgetting that about you, only to be reminded when it comes up again later.
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#9 Apr 29 2013 at 1:14 AM Rating: Good
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I feel like I'm missing out on a good story here.
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#10 Apr 29 2013 at 5:06 AM Rating: Default
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I've been made fun of a lot, but never bullied. I have had about two people try, but it didn't last very long. Both times ended with the other person being embarrassed.


To answer the OP question, I would consider the scene "bullying" without knowing any more information. Chances are, if she is being shunned at the table, she's probably being shunned else where and being made fun of. If those assumptions are false and there are just "special" seats, then I wouldn't consider it bullying. In my high school, people had self assigned seats. It wasn't about "being cool", but "this is my seat" and/or "wtf are you?"
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#11 Apr 29 2013 at 6:08 AM Rating: Excellent
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I was teased, as everyone is, but never what I'd call bullied. Of course that might have something to do with my brother, who allegedly mentioned to a few people that if he ever heard I'd had to kick their asses, he'd feel honor bound to kick their asses worse.
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#12 Apr 29 2013 at 6:11 AM Rating: Good
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I don't remember ever being bullied. May have happened in the earliest years I suppose. There are benefits to being big, athletic and somewhat sociable.

My wife was bullied a lot so its been an eye opener for me to watch out for with my own kids as its something I never would've considered much having not been on the receiving end growing up.
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#13 Apr 29 2013 at 6:13 AM Rating: Good
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I bullied in 7th grade. There were a couple nerdy types I picked on but there was one girl in particular I chronically teased and tormented. She was in my social studies class which happened to also have a couple of the hot/cool boys I think I was trying to impress. She ended up transferring out of the class. I'm not much of a physical threat, but I was mean.

It was a pretty distinct and short-lived episode in my growth, but a regretful time none-the-less.

I'm sorry. Smiley: frown

As far as the current 'no bully' campaign, I think it's feel good stuff. If it helps people and kids simply be more respectful of others - it's fine. If it should just land more kids in a 'special' category where they end up booted out of school, on meds, uneducated, or in the 'system' then it's gone too far.



Edited, Apr 29th 2013 2:17pm by Elinda
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#14 Apr 29 2013 at 6:22 AM Rating: Good
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I wasn't really bullied (there was one notable occasion when some kids from a different school followed me and my brother home taunting us, but we reported them and that was that).

People mostly left me to my own devices, for better or worse. I had a small group of friends that I stuck to, and a few others I could pal around with, but that was the long and short of my social interaction. No parties or anything - I doubt I was thought of enough to warrant the invite.

I was athletic, though. Best basketball player in the school. I think that might have been what kept me from being actively bullied.

When I went to college, I made a concerted effort to reinvent myself...get more social, be more confident. I just faked it until it became who I was.

Edited, Apr 29th 2013 8:24am by Eske
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#15 Apr 29 2013 at 6:22 AM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
As far as the current 'no bully' campaign, I think it's feel good stuff. If it helps people and kids simply be more respectful of others - it's fine. If it should just land more kids in a 'special' category where they end up booted out of school, on meds, uneducated, or in the 'system' then it's gone too far.


I suppose that's what we're really talking about, isn't it? I don't have a dog in this hunt, but it'd be a shame to see the "no-tolerance" crap that's already been applied to drugs and weapons (aspirin and nail clippers come to mind) applied to what amounts to normal pecking-order interactions.

The difficulty factor is social media.
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#16 Apr 29 2013 at 6:51 AM Rating: Excellent
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I had some guy in freshman year of HS try and push me around. In a fashion worthy of an after-school special, I befriended some huge senior dude in my Intro Computers class named Chunk or Meatslab or something who made it clear that his tutor in all things MS/DOS wasn't to be messed with.

Somewhere during the year, someone spread a rumor (?) that the bully guy had shit his pants during gym class so that took the wind out of his sails for the rest of the duration of high school. Once again, a learning opportunity for all involved.

Aside from that, I don't remember any bullying. A bunch of the usual jostling about among young males and a share of fights but if there was an active campaign from anyone to keep me down, they weren't very good at it.
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#17 Apr 29 2013 at 7:42 AM Rating: Good
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I got into a fight or two in school, but nothing I'd call bullying.
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#18 Apr 29 2013 at 7:44 AM Rating: Excellent
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When I was a kid I was bullied a few times. We never had any major awareness of bullying back then, and I just dealt with it. Now, as a mom with two elementary school kids, the awareness has skyrocketed. I'm hearing on about a monthly basis about things the kids learn in school about anti-bully stuff. Xavier especially, is very aware of what bullying looks like and what to do if he or a friend is being bullied. That said, I can honestly say that the school does such a good job of informing the kids and giving them the tools to deal with bullies, that there haven't been any problems. It seems that everyone generally gets along.

I have no idea if this is why, but I would wonder if over the past couple of decades the negative long term effects of bullying has been recorded more so that people can see what happens as a result of major bullying: suicides, drug usage, etc. Also, with the new ability to "cyber bully" since the net was not nearly as available when I was growing up as it is today. Maybe with it being more visible, parents and shools are working harder t both teach anti-bullying messages, and to open up a conversation about it. If it's out in he open, kids may feel more ease in talking to an adult to ask for help.

As for the example used in OP, like others said, without any more information, I would put that under the branch of bullying. Most likely it's not a one time situation they are implying. Girls can be subtle bitches, and their type of bullying can be a lot more subtle than a guy flushing a geek down the toilet. Constant snubbing is the females way of bullying.
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#19 Apr 29 2013 at 7:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
Somewhere during the year, someone spread a rumor (?) that the bully guy had shit his pants during gym class so that took the wind out of his sails for the rest of the duration of high school. Once again, a learning opportunity for all involved.
When they asked you who told you that Polyphemus shit his pants, did you tell them that it was Outis?
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#20 Apr 29 2013 at 7:59 AM Rating: Excellent
Bullying is when there is consistent abuse and an imbalance of power. Just being mean to someone or getting in a fight is not bullying. Bullying is a problem, but saying that every time someone is mean they are a bully isn't helpful.
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#21 Apr 29 2013 at 8:17 AM Rating: Excellent
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Sir Xsarus wrote:
Bullying is a problem, but saying that every time someone is mean they are a bully isn't helpful.

W'evs, cyberbully. You'll be hearing from my Internet Lawyer.
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#22 Apr 29 2013 at 8:22 AM Rating: Good
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Bullying is being exaggerated a lot lately. When I was in school, being "bullied" meant someone was relentlessly harassing you every day-- beating you to a bloody pulp, stealing your stuff, stalking. When I was in first grade, there were two fifth-graders, identical twin brothers, who bullied me at the vehicle pickup line every day after school. One day, they picked me up by my ankles and dumped me head-first into one of those garbage cans on legs that you can't tip over. The next day, there was only one of them there. I picked up the biggest rock I could fit in my hand and lobbed it at his face. He cried like a little bitch in front of everyone. Since then, I was never bullied by anyone.
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#23 Apr 29 2013 at 8:27 AM Rating: Good
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Bullying is being exaggerated a lot lately.
I imagine it's because the people who spent most of their recess time and class prep time with their faces in toilets and lockers are now in charge and we're seeing the true ramifications. Oversensitive plebs.
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#24 Apr 29 2013 at 8:32 AM Rating: Excellent
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As far as I recall, I was never bullied. Closest that it came to that was me mouthing off to a sixth grader on the bus ride home when I was in third grade and getting cuffed across the back of my head. Went home in tears, my dad went and talked to his dad, and there were no more issues.

I heard he later died in Iraq Smiley: eek

Other than that there was some teasing here and there (I was chubby in elementary school, but I was also smarter and taller than most of my classmates), but never approaching "bully" level.

Though I don't remember doing so, apparently I bullied a younger girl when I was in elementary school. Just insults and generally being mean. We later became friends in high school, when I protected her from people who would make fun of her, including many of my group of friends. She was a bit stuck-up, since she skipped a grade and thought she knew more than everyone else, but didn't deserve the abuse. She thanked me for standing up for her years later, but also reminded me that I had been a bully just a few years before then. Guess it's a net wash, in the end.
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#25 Apr 29 2013 at 8:33 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Sir Xsarus wrote:
Bullying is a problem, but saying that every time someone is mean they are a bully isn't helpful.

W'evs, cyberbully. You'll be hearing from my Internet Lawyer.

Are the bullied ever deserving of the treatment?

Lion King was on the tv this weekend. Anti-bullying efforts were just being discussed through some media I'd just absorbed, so as the scene came up where the little lions (Simba and Nala) were teasing and making-fun of the Mufasa's bird messenger, I couldn't help but think that those actions would be classified as bullying today.
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#26 Apr 29 2013 at 8:36 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Sir Xsarus wrote:
Bullying is a problem, but saying that every time someone is mean they are a bully isn't helpful.
W'evs, cyberbully. You'll be hearing from my Internet Lawyer.
Time to put on my other hat.

I am asking the programmers to gather together the information from the poster making threats. I will be issuing a subpoena to AOL to get your name and address and then I will be taking this matter to the FBI. Threatening bodily injury to another person over interstate wires is a federal offense. I especially take offense when that person happens to be one of our administrators. I will leave this matter to the authorities. You are also forever banned from this site. If you show up again, I will file civil charges against you for harassment, and in addition to the jail time you face, I will take your house and assets (or if you are a minor, the house and assets of your parents).

I am also closing this thread. This has gone far enough.

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#27 Apr 29 2013 at 8:42 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Sir Xsarus wrote:
Bullying is a problem, but saying that every time someone is mean they are a bully isn't helpful.
W'evs, cyberbully. You'll be hearing from my Internet Lawyer.
Time to put on my other hat.

I am asking the programmers to gather together the information from the poster making threats. I will be issuing a subpoena to AOL to get your name and address and then I will be taking this matter to the FBI. Threatening bodily injury to another person over interstate wires is a federal offense. I especially take offense when that person happens to be one of our administrators. I will leave this matter to the authorities. You are also forever banned from this site. If you show up again, I will file civil charges against you for harassment, and in addition to the jail time you face, I will take your house and assets (or if you are a minor, the house and assets of your parents).

I am also closing this thread. This has gone far enough.

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Attorney at Law.

Careful, he seems the type that could send out some psychedelically-dusted letters to very important people with your name signed to them.
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#28 Apr 29 2013 at 11:29 AM Rating: Default
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I want to know whatever happened to "sticks and stones may break my bones..."

It's a perpetuation of the news cycle, which may or may not have detrimental effects on child rearing and self esteem in the long run. Young kid with public facebook profile commits suicide, textual evidence exists of their bullying, witch hunt occurs. "Bullying" is a normal human function - people will always try to homogenize the human experience by trying to intimidate others into behaving more "acceptably" - but this isn't a necessary function of our survival mechanisms anymore, there is plenty of room for the human experience to be varied and vibrant. I think the real problem exists when you give the bullies power - obviously, we all know that, from our experiences with trolling etc. If you feed the trolls, they get stronger and their hunger for fresh blood increases. If you starve the trolls, they will seek another, more engaging use of their time.

Instead, the media is creating teenage martyrs to glorify the internet troll, I've even seen celebrities quote derogatory things that have been posted on their twitter in an attempt to empathize and further condemn "bullies" - oh yes, what discouragement! I'm sure @Trollface69 feels very embarrassed that his presence and power was made known on national TV, and I'm sure he won't continue to perform in ways that have given him attention and positive feedback in the past! Smiley: rolleyes
#29 Apr 29 2013 at 12:35 PM Rating: Decent
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I really get the feeling all these cheesy messages are not going to change a kids mind about rather they want to bully or not.
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#30 Apr 29 2013 at 1:36 PM Rating: Excellent
This is on topic.

Quote:
US basketball player Jason Collins has come out as gay, the first active male athlete in a major American professional team sport to do so.

He declared his sexuality in an article for Sports Illustrated, announcing: "I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay."

Collins said he had struggled with his sexuality for years.

Former NBA player John Amaechi came out as gay in 2007, but he had already retired.


One part of removing bullying is to have mainstream tolerance and acceptance: some examples to aspire to.

Quote:
"But since I am, I'm happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn't the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, 'I'm different.' If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I'm raising my hand."


Good on him. He rocks Smiley: smile

Now, if only a person in a 'real' sport had come out in the US Smiley: clown
#31 Apr 29 2013 at 3:08 PM Rating: Good
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Bullying can also be emotional, not physical. My classmates in elementary school called me all sorts of horrible names and shunned me. I was never invited to that many birthday parties - and the one time I was, for my friend Charm, since I was white the Applebee's hostess mistakenly assumed that I was there for a different party (all of Charm's other friends were black. @#%^ you, Georgia.) The hostess never even told us there was a birthday party in the back room. My mother only found out when she heard them singing Happy Birthday, and at that point she was so livid she ended up... Actually, I'm not sure quite what she said, but the end result was that I got 5 minutes of my friend's party and my mother ended up with comped dinner for the entire family from the manager.

Didn't matter - by the time third grade rolled around I'd paired up with another nerd girl, Christy, and together in our best friend nerdliness we didn't mind the whole "being ignored by everyone else" thing. We had books and Girl Scouts and music.
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#32 Apr 29 2013 at 5:37 PM Rating: Decent
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JennockFV wrote:
Now, if only a person in a 'real' sport had come out in the US Smiley: clown

I hope it's A-Rod. That whiny little bitch has got to be a catcher.
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#33 Apr 30 2013 at 5:46 AM Rating: Good
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Samira wrote:
I was teased, as everyone is, but never what I'd call bullied. Of course that might have something to do with my brother, who allegedly mentioned to a few people that if he ever heard I'd had to kick their asses, he'd feel honor bound to kick their asses worse.
I would've done the same thing for my little sister but the one time someone tried to bully her she threw her rollerskates at his head and he never tried again [:lol]
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#34 Apr 30 2013 at 6:23 AM Rating: Excellent
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#35 Apr 30 2013 at 6:41 AM Rating: Good
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My younger brother suffers from schizophrenia. I think he probably always did, because despite him being small, I never had to stick up for him because whoever picked on him ended up far worse at his hands than they would've at mine.
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#36 Apr 30 2013 at 7:20 AM Rating: Good
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Debalic wrote:
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Now, if only a person in a 'real' sport had come out in the US Smiley: clown
I hope it's A-Rod. That whiny little bitch has got to be a catcher.
If anything, Mark Teixeira is certainly bi.
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#37 Apr 30 2013 at 6:27 PM Rating: Excellent
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It's possible that the definition of bullying is being stretched in some cases, but I don't know if a lot of harm is coming from it. It certainly can't hurt to encourage at least tolerance and respect. Although there's going to be a limited amount of effectiveness in some ways - humans take years to develop the cognitive ability to take perspectives outside their own mind, and to be capable of empathy and such.

The consequences of bullying are well-documented and severe. The consequences of an overreacting anti-bullying agenda are not known. Until I see evidence of these consequences, I'd side with the anti-bullying movement.


Edited, Apr 30th 2013 7:28pm by trickybeck
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#38 May 01 2013 at 7:09 AM Rating: Good
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Why in my day, the term "bully" meant "great" or "outstanding"! When did this pejorative version start to be used? When the other children told me "You are a bully" I would respond "And a good day to you old bean, wot wot!" Surely they didn't mean to imply something more sinister?
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#39 May 01 2013 at 7:12 AM Rating: Good
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Why in my day, the term "bully" meant "great" or "outstanding"!
Was that the same day where 'gay' meant 'happy'?
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#41 May 01 2013 at 8:38 AM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
Why in my day, the term "bully" meant "great" or "outstanding"!

Amusing when people misinterpret what the term "bully pulpit" is supposed to mean.
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#42 May 01 2013 at 8:45 AM Rating: Good
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#43 May 01 2013 at 9:03 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
*****
14,829 posts
Eske Esquire wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
Smash is now pictured as wearing an akubra hat and a thick white mustache.


Monocle required.

...and a fine wooden walking stick with a scrimshaw grip (for pointing and gesturing purposes only).
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LOOK here.
#44 May 01 2013 at 9:16 AM Rating: Good
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41,289 posts
Screenshot
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#45 May 01 2013 at 10:55 AM Rating: Decent
Lunatic
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28,585 posts
I still actually say "well bully for them" fairly regularly. It's understood that my intent is to convey "I don't give a fuck" with other words, as is the case when I say "hello", "how are your children doing", etc.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a whore. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. @#%^ off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#46 May 01 2013 at 11:10 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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TILT
I sing "Wooly Bully" fairly regularly.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#47 May 01 2013 at 11:42 AM Rating: Excellent
Gurue
*****
16,230 posts
So, Smash is the Monopoly guy?
#48 May 01 2013 at 11:42 AM Rating: Good
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41,289 posts
A slightly older Nigel Thornberry.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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