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The anti-bully movement.Follow

#1 Apr 28 2013 at 4:06 PM Rating: Good
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Was watching Cartoon Network and I noticed a half hour special came on "The Bully Effect". And I've noticed a lot of commercials on CN and Nickelodeon really pushing the whole anti-bully thing. I was bullied quite a bit through late elementary school and most of junior high. It all went away when I was in high school and joined the football team. Not because I was suddenly popular or large and strong from football, but being part of the team made most people who used to be indifferent to me or even those that bullied just stop. That and it seems that most of them matured since junior high.

I understand the verbal and physical abuse aspect. But I remembered one commercial about bullying that came on Cartoon Network, and it showed a group of girls at a lunch table, another walks up, the ones sitting refuse to let her sit with them. Then the one of the stars of a CN show says something along the lines of "Sometimes it works both ways" and it cuts to later where the girl that was shunned previously is now also shunning one of the girls that used to be at the table. Is that really a type of bullying they are trying to 'fight'? Is not being nice to someone the same as bullying?

Also, relevant.
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#2 Apr 28 2013 at 6:51 PM Rating: Excellent
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I've now tried posting a response 6 times but after 90 seconds of typing, Zam eats my goddam post. I'm being bullied here!!! Smiley: mad

I give up =(
#3 Apr 28 2013 at 7:46 PM Rating: Excellent
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I admit, I have given up trying to determine how much of the bullying story is a real problem, and how much is overprotective parenting and the 24-hour news cycle. I don't have kids, so maybe I haven't been paying as much attention as I could have.

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#4 Apr 28 2013 at 8:10 PM Rating: Good
I was bullied as a kid through elementary and middle school. The turning point for me was Christmas in 7th grade, when my mother found a great deal on a Charlotte Hornet's Starter jacket. When I showed up in January wearing that silly, expensive, and oh so very fashionable thing, the bullying slowed down a lot. It was gone by 8th grade.

The low point was 6th grade when someone stuck gum in my hair. Smiley: frown

In the end, I turned out okay. If anything, I developed a rather stoic personality as a result of it all.

Edited, Apr 28th 2013 10:11pm by Catwho
#5 Apr 28 2013 at 8:35 PM Rating: Excellent
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DSD wrote:
I've now tried posting a response 6 times but after 90 seconds of typing, Zam eats my goddam post. I'm being bullied here!!! Smiley: mad

I give up =(


what broweser are you using, and what specifically happens at 90 seconds?
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#6 Apr 28 2013 at 9:21 PM Rating: Good
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
DSD wrote:
I've now tried posting a response 6 times but after 90 seconds of typing, Zam eats my goddam post. I'm being bullied here!!! Smiley: mad

I give up =(


what broweser are you using, and what specifically happens at 90 seconds?

It's happened twice when trying to post this. Im on my new surface using i.e. Basically the screen "blinks" and everything I type is gone. I have to start again.

Sick thinks that it might be because one of the advertisements refreshing and something in my surface doen't like that. Ive used i.e. before with no issues. This is the first night I've ever seen this issue. tried typing on three other forums with no problems. Only Zam...

Edited, Apr 28th 2013 11:22pm by DSD
#7 Apr 28 2013 at 10:09 PM Rating: Decent
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I was bullied a lot throughout school. It pretty much ended when I tried to blow it up and got kicked out.
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#8 Apr 29 2013 at 12:17 AM Rating: Good
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I don't know how it is that I keep forgetting that about you, only to be reminded when it comes up again later.
#9 Apr 29 2013 at 1:14 AM Rating: Good
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I feel like I'm missing out on a good story here.
#10 Apr 29 2013 at 5:06 AM Rating: Default
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I've been made fun of a lot, but never bullied. I have had about two people try, but it didn't last very long. Both times ended with the other person being embarrassed.


To answer the OP question, I would consider the scene "bullying" without knowing any more information. Chances are, if she is being shunned at the table, she's probably being shunned else where and being made fun of. If those assumptions are false and there are just "special" seats, then I wouldn't consider it bullying. In my high school, people had self assigned seats. It wasn't about "being cool", but "this is my seat" and/or "wtf are you?"
#11 Apr 29 2013 at 6:08 AM Rating: Excellent
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I was teased, as everyone is, but never what I'd call bullied. Of course that might have something to do with my brother, who allegedly mentioned to a few people that if he ever heard I'd had to kick their asses, he'd feel honor bound to kick their asses worse.
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#12 Apr 29 2013 at 6:11 AM Rating: Good
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I don't remember ever being bullied. May have happened in the earliest years I suppose. There are benefits to being big, athletic and somewhat sociable.

My wife was bullied a lot so its been an eye opener for me to watch out for with my own kids as its something I never would've considered much having not been on the receiving end growing up.
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#13 Apr 29 2013 at 6:13 AM Rating: Good
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I bullied in 7th grade. There were a couple nerdy types I picked on but there was one girl in particular I chronically teased and tormented. She was in my social studies class which happened to also have a couple of the hot/cool boys I think I was trying to impress. She ended up transferring out of the class. I'm not much of a physical threat, but I was mean.

It was a pretty distinct and short-lived episode in my growth, but a regretful time none-the-less.

I'm sorry. Smiley: frown

As far as the current 'no bully' campaign, I think it's feel good stuff. If it helps people and kids simply be more respectful of others - it's fine. If it should just land more kids in a 'special' category where they end up booted out of school, on meds, uneducated, or in the 'system' then it's gone too far.



Edited, Apr 29th 2013 2:17pm by Elinda
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#14 Apr 29 2013 at 6:22 AM Rating: Good
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I wasn't really bullied (there was one notable occasion when some kids from a different school followed me and my brother home taunting us, but we reported them and that was that).

People mostly left me to my own devices, for better or worse. I had a small group of friends that I stuck to, and a few others I could pal around with, but that was the long and short of my social interaction. No parties or anything - I doubt I was thought of enough to warrant the invite.

I was athletic, though. Best basketball player in the school. I think that might have been what kept me from being actively bullied.

When I went to college, I made a concerted effort to reinvent myself...get more social, be more confident. I just faked it until it became who I was.

Edited, Apr 29th 2013 8:24am by Eske
#15 Apr 29 2013 at 6:22 AM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
As far as the current 'no bully' campaign, I think it's feel good stuff. If it helps people and kids simply be more respectful of others - it's fine. If it should just land more kids in a 'special' category where they end up booted out of school, on meds, uneducated, or in the 'system' then it's gone too far.


I suppose that's what we're really talking about, isn't it? I don't have a dog in this hunt, but it'd be a shame to see the "no-tolerance" crap that's already been applied to drugs and weapons (aspirin and nail clippers come to mind) applied to what amounts to normal pecking-order interactions.

The difficulty factor is social media.
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#16 Apr 29 2013 at 6:51 AM Rating: Excellent
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I had some guy in freshman year of HS try and push me around. In a fashion worthy of an after-school special, I befriended some huge senior dude in my Intro Computers class named Chunk or Meatslab or something who made it clear that his tutor in all things MS/DOS wasn't to be messed with.

Somewhere during the year, someone spread a rumor (?) that the bully guy had shit his pants during gym class so that took the wind out of his sails for the rest of the duration of high school. Once again, a learning opportunity for all involved.

Aside from that, I don't remember any bullying. A bunch of the usual jostling about among young males and a share of fights but if there was an active campaign from anyone to keep me down, they weren't very good at it.
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#17 Apr 29 2013 at 7:42 AM Rating: Good
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I got into a fight or two in school, but nothing I'd call bullying.
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#18 Apr 29 2013 at 7:44 AM Rating: Excellent
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When I was a kid I was bullied a few times. We never had any major awareness of bullying back then, and I just dealt with it. Now, as a mom with two elementary school kids, the awareness has skyrocketed. I'm hearing on about a monthly basis about things the kids learn in school about anti-bully stuff. Xavier especially, is very aware of what bullying looks like and what to do if he or a friend is being bullied. That said, I can honestly say that the school does such a good job of informing the kids and giving them the tools to deal with bullies, that there haven't been any problems. It seems that everyone generally gets along.

I have no idea if this is why, but I would wonder if over the past couple of decades the negative long term effects of bullying has been recorded more so that people can see what happens as a result of major bullying: suicides, drug usage, etc. Also, with the new ability to "cyber bully" since the net was not nearly as available when I was growing up as it is today. Maybe with it being more visible, parents and shools are working harder t both teach anti-bullying messages, and to open up a conversation about it. If it's out in he open, kids may feel more ease in talking to an adult to ask for help.

As for the example used in OP, like others said, without any more information, I would put that under the branch of bullying. Most likely it's not a one time situation they are implying. Girls can be subtle bitches, and their type of bullying can be a lot more subtle than a guy flushing a geek down the toilet. Constant snubbing is the females way of bullying.
#19 Apr 29 2013 at 7:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
Somewhere during the year, someone spread a rumor (?) that the bully guy had shit his pants during gym class so that took the wind out of his sails for the rest of the duration of high school. Once again, a learning opportunity for all involved.
When they asked you who told you that Polyphemus shit his pants, did you tell them that it was Outis?
#20 Apr 29 2013 at 7:59 AM Rating: Excellent
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Bullying is when there is consistent abuse and an imbalance of power. Just being mean to someone or getting in a fight is not bullying. Bullying is a problem, but saying that every time someone is mean they are a bully isn't helpful.
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#21 Apr 29 2013 at 8:17 AM Rating: Excellent
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Sir Xsarus wrote:
Bullying is a problem, but saying that every time someone is mean they are a bully isn't helpful.

W'evs, cyberbully. You'll be hearing from my Internet Lawyer.
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#22 Apr 29 2013 at 8:22 AM Rating: Good
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Bullying is being exaggerated a lot lately. When I was in school, being "bullied" meant someone was relentlessly harassing you every day-- beating you to a bloody pulp, stealing your stuff, stalking. When I was in first grade, there were two fifth-graders, identical twin brothers, who bullied me at the vehicle pickup line every day after school. One day, they picked me up by my ankles and dumped me head-first into one of those garbage cans on legs that you can't tip over. The next day, there was only one of them there. I picked up the biggest rock I could fit in my hand and lobbed it at his face. He cried like a little ***** in front of everyone. Since then, I was never bullied by anyone.
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#23 Apr 29 2013 at 8:27 AM Rating: Good
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Bullying is being exaggerated a lot lately.
I imagine it's because the people who spent most of their recess time and class prep time with their faces in toilets and lockers are now in charge and we're seeing the true ramifications. Oversensitive plebs.
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#24 Apr 29 2013 at 8:32 AM Rating: Excellent
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As far as I recall, I was never bullied. Closest that it came to that was me mouthing off to a sixth grader on the bus ride home when I was in third grade and getting cuffed across the back of my head. Went home in tears, my dad went and talked to his dad, and there were no more issues.

I heard he later died in Iraq Smiley: eek

Other than that there was some teasing here and there (I was chubby in elementary school, but I was also smarter and taller than most of my classmates), but never approaching "bully" level.

Though I don't remember doing so, apparently I bullied a younger girl when I was in elementary school. Just insults and generally being mean. We later became friends in high school, when I protected her from people who would make fun of her, including many of my group of friends. She was a bit stuck-up, since she skipped a grade and thought she knew more than everyone else, but didn't deserve the abuse. She thanked me for standing up for her years later, but also reminded me that I had been a bully just a few years before then. Guess it's a net wash, in the end.
#25 Apr 29 2013 at 8:33 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Sir Xsarus wrote:
Bullying is a problem, but saying that every time someone is mean they are a bully isn't helpful.

W'evs, cyberbully. You'll be hearing from my Internet Lawyer.

Are the bullied ever deserving of the treatment?

Lion King was on the tv this weekend. Anti-bullying efforts were just being discussed through some media I'd just absorbed, so as the scene came up where the little lions (Simba and Nala) were teasing and making-fun of the Mufasa's bird messenger, I couldn't help but think that those actions would be classified as bullying today.
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#26 Apr 29 2013 at 8:36 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Sir Xsarus wrote:
Bullying is a problem, but saying that every time someone is mean they are a bully isn't helpful.
W'evs, cyberbully. You'll be hearing from my Internet Lawyer.
Time to put on my other hat.

I am asking the programmers to gather together the information from the poster making threats. I will be issuing a subpoena to AOL to get your name and address and then I will be taking this matter to the FBI. Threatening bodily injury to another person over interstate wires is a federal offense. I especially take offense when that person happens to be one of our administrators. I will leave this matter to the authorities. You are also forever banned from this site. If you show up again, I will file civil charges against you for harassment, and in addition to the jail time you face, I will take your house and assets (or if you are a minor, the house and assets of your parents).

I am also closing this thread. This has gone far enough.

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