If the Asylum was a bar ....Follow

If the Asylum was a bar ....

I picture walking in, there is a wombat head up on the wall with a placard "evil blighter shot by Kaolian, 2013".

Gbaji is standing at the entrance - he gives me money to buy drinks as this will improve the economy and ultimately himself.

There is a bar brawl in the corner with Rachel9, Alma and a few others arguing. All trying to stab each other with ball of wool. If the aggression ever dies down, one of the Asylum regulars will go poke someone with a stick to ensure the battle continues much to the amusement of the spectators.

The barman is Kaolian. Before serving me squints with a grin and asks three questions:
"What is your Name?"
"What is your Quest?"
"What is the burrowing speed of a wombat?"
I answer "Do you mean an uncommon or common wombat?", he screams and lets me take away a bottle of wine to the centre of the room. To recover himself, Kaolian starts a conversation on an amusing subject.

I find Smasharoo sitting giving out well versed and amusing insults until Nexa calls him and demands he go home.

There is a small contingent of British in the room, sitting near but on the same table as the Aussies. They get along but never quite see eye to eye.

And now I'm out of time .. and leave ..

Dibs.

Alma would be singing Karaoke (nobody would be listening).

I'd be drinking a 40 oz. from a paper bag, in the alley behind the joint.

I always pictured Gbaji hovering over the unconscious woman behind a dumpster, shouting at anyone who passes by "I DIDN'T RAPE HER! SEE, NO MARKS!!".

Arguing semantics on a web forum?

I'd be there somewhere, but no one would notice.

After 13 years and 60-whatever-thousand posts, I'd be coming in to a rousing cheer of "Joph!", making a witty rejoiner to the bartender's question of how my day is going and then settle in to my permanent spot at the bar.

Then mention my wife who no one in the bar ever sees these days.

Gbaji wouldn't give you money, he'd give the establishment money and wait for it to reach you guys through cheaper booze...

I'd be playing pinball, if they had a pinball machine.

If they didn't have one, I wouldn't be there.

So, i'm sittin in the bar and i've had a glass of wine, so I gotta tell my pinball story. it's too cool.

We're on a family vacation out west. Where the hell we were exactly I've no clue, I was 4 or 5 i think. We stop somewhere desert like, SD, or WY or MT, lol, to visit my Moms cousin I think. The house we stop at in the desert is an underground thing. There was a kid, prolly a bit younger than me, naked from the waste down and riding a st. bernard. I'm thinking this a bit far-out, but then we go into the underground house and there's the most wondrous thing, full-size real life pinball machine - that you didn't have to put quarters into!. We (us kids) finally had to get lured away from it eventually with ice cream. The last oddity of my visit to wherever-I-was, was our hosts dipped our ice cream cones in rice krispies. Nothing we'd seen done yet...lol.

Bijou was that you riding naked on the dog?

mid-60's perhaps..maybe.

Or pulling a Tommy