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Father Jefferson, Hear Our Prayers...Follow

#1 Apr 03 2013 at 8:04 AM Rating: Excellent
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GOP proposes allowing state religion in North Carolina
WRAL.com wrote:
A bill filed by Republican lawmakers would allow North Carolina to declare an official religion, in violation of the Establishment Clause of the U.S. Bill of Rights, and seeks to nullify any federal ruling against Christian prayer by public bodies statewide.
[...]
Overtly Christian prayers at government meetings are not rare in North Carolina. Since the Republican takeover in 2011, the state Senate chaplain has offered an explicitly Christian invocation virtually every day of session, despite the fact that some senators are not Christian.
[...]
House Bill 494, a resolution filed by Republican Rowan County Reps. Harry Warren and Carl Ford, would refuse to acknowledge the force of any judicial ruling on prayer in North Carolina – or indeed on any Constitutional topic:

"The Constitution of the United States does not grant the federal government and does not grant the federal courts the power to determine what is or is not constitutional; therefore, by virtue of the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, the power to determine constitutionality and the proper interpretation and proper application of the Constitution is reserved to the states and to the people," the bill states. "Each state in the union is sovereign and may independently determine how that state may make laws respecting an establishment of religion."
[...]
The bill goes on to say:

SECTION 1. The North Carolina General Assembly asserts that the Constitution of the United States of America does not prohibit states or their subsidiaries from making laws respecting an establishment of religion.

SECTION 2. The North Carolina General Assembly does not recognize federal court rulings which prohibit and otherwise regulate the State of North Carolina, its public schools or any political subdivisions of the State from making laws respecting an establishment of religion.

Eleven House Republicans have signed on to sponsor the resolution, including Majority Leader Edgar Starnes, R-Caldwell, and Budget Chairman Justin Burr, R-Stanly.

So that's what North Carolina is up to today.
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#2 Apr 03 2013 at 8:07 AM Rating: Excellent
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Freedom of religion, as long as that religion involves Jesus.
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#3 Apr 03 2013 at 8:10 AM Rating: Good
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So is this going to be an "original intent" thread or a "current interpretation" thread?
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#4 Apr 03 2013 at 8:17 AM Rating: Excellent
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My threads should always be viewed as original intent as I am infallible and omniscient and my words shall be just as binding in two hundred years as they are today.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#5 Apr 03 2013 at 9:02 AM Rating: Good
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Article 5 of the NC Constitution wrote:
Sec. 8. Disqualifications for office.
The following persons shall be disqualified for office:
- First, any person who shall deny the being of Almighty God.

Seems the requirements to be a God-fearing law-maker in NC are already in place. Might as well let them pray.
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#6 Apr 03 2013 at 9:10 AM Rating: Excellent
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I'm still in that phase where you've drunk enough coffee to be awake but not enough to be fully aware, so I read that as "Any person who denies being the Almighty God" and for a moment considered running for office.
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#7 Apr 03 2013 at 9:12 AM Rating: Good
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"Any person who denies being the Almighty God" and for a moment considered running for office.

Also accurate. Pretty much required to be a megalomaniac to aspire to any sort of higher office in the US.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#8 Apr 03 2013 at 9:27 AM Rating: Good
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2011 ruling of the 4th US Court of Appeals wrote:
]Free religious exercise posits broad religious tolerance."

True:7 (77.8%) False:2 (22.2%) Total:9


Does religious tolerance include non-religious tolerance?
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#9 Apr 03 2013 at 9:29 AM Rating: Excellent
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We have both types of religion here. Protestant and Catholic.
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#10 Apr 03 2013 at 9:32 AM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
We have both types of religion here. Protestant and Catholic.

Lutheran and Methodist. We don't want no dirty Papists and the Baptist church is full of coloreds.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#11 Apr 03 2013 at 9:33 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
We have both types of religion here. Protestant and Catholic.


Where are you at, Ireland?

Edited, Apr 3rd 2013 11:33am by Shaowstrike
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#12 Apr 03 2013 at 9:47 AM Rating: Excellent
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So in addition to the long list of things politicians already lie about we get to add "believing in God."
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#13 Apr 03 2013 at 9:54 AM Rating: Decent
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So in addition to the long list of things politicians already lie about we get to add "believing in God."

Most of them already lie about that. Not like you're going to win an election in NC being an Atheist at the moment. You have to pretend a lot of things in US poltics. That you are "in touch" with a class of people you never see and don't care about, that you believe in the Judeo-Christian god, that you think various meaningless concepts are "critically important" education, opportunity, etc.

Running on the "Mostly I want to acquire more personal power and wealth" platform hasn't shown to yield good results.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#14 Apr 03 2013 at 10:14 AM Rating: Good
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Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
Where are you at, Ireland?
First two totally different and not similar in any way possible I thought of.
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#15 Apr 03 2013 at 10:59 AM Rating: Excellent
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In other sigh-worthy Republican shennanigans, Florida's GOP-controlled senate passed a bill banning all "drug paraphernalia" today (things such as pipes, bongs, and vaporizers). Apparently one of the few exceptions are wooden pipes. Ban takes effect on July 1st.
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#16 Apr 03 2013 at 11:04 AM Rating: Good
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LockeColeMA wrote:
In other sigh-worthy Republican shennanigans, Florida's GOP-controlled senate passed a bill banning all "drug paraphernalia" today (things such as pipes, bongs, and vaporizers). Apparently one of the few exceptions are wooden pipes. Ban takes effect on July 1st.
Rolling papers?
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#17 Apr 03 2013 at 11:20 AM Rating: Good
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Many people use rolling papers to smoke tobacco, so not likely. That's why wooden pipes were excluded as well. Oh well, we can all lol later if they actually spend money hunting and smashing people's bongs.
#18 Apr 03 2013 at 11:34 AM Rating: Good
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Guenny wrote:
Many people use rolling papers to smoke tobacco, so not likely. That's why wooden pipes were excluded as well. Oh well, we can all lol later if they actually spend money hunting and smashing people's bongs.


More likely it'll be leveraged against all those occasions when someone's pipe tumbles out of their glove compartment during a pull-over.
#19 Apr 03 2013 at 11:39 AM Rating: Good
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Can you smoke meth out of a wooden pipe? I fear for the panhandle's economy.

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#20 Apr 03 2013 at 11:39 AM Rating: Good
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Eske Esquire wrote:
Guenny wrote:
Many people use rolling papers to smoke tobacco, so not likely. That's why wooden pipes were excluded as well. Oh well, we can all lol later if they actually spend money hunting and smashing people's bongs.


More likely it'll be leveraged against all those occasions when someone's pipe tumbles out of their glove compartment during a pull-over.


??? As if that wasn't already the case? Pipes and "water pipes" are not legal to smoke marijuana out of in states where marijuana isn't legal. You can "collect" them but any presence of marijuana residue is obvious and incriminating. A dirty glass pipe falling out of someone's glovebox is reasonable cause to search your car anyway. This is just making the sale in the state illegal, as in head shops are unable to sell the pieces, and if you're caught importing them you could be in trouble.

Edited, Apr 3rd 2013 12:40pm by Guenny
#21 Apr 03 2013 at 11:56 AM Rating: Good
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Guenny wrote:
Eske Esquire wrote:
Guenny wrote:
Many people use rolling papers to smoke tobacco, so not likely. That's why wooden pipes were excluded as well. Oh well, we can all lol later if they actually spend money hunting and smashing people's bongs.


More likely it'll be leveraged against all those occasions when someone's pipe tumbles out of their glove compartment during a pull-over.


??? As if that wasn't already the case? Pipes and "water pipes" are not legal to smoke marijuana out of in states where marijuana isn't legal. You can "collect" them but any presence of marijuana residue is obvious and incriminating. A dirty glass pipe falling out of someone's glovebox is reasonable cause to search your car anyway. This is just making the sale in the state illegal, as in head shops are unable to sell the pieces, and if you're caught importing them you could be in trouble.


Okay, you caught me - I only skimmed the thread. Smiley: glare
#22 Apr 03 2013 at 12:19 PM Rating: Good
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It's okay, you skimmed the thread and thought you could get a jab in at me, but in attempting to do so exposed your own ignorance, allowing me to gain the upper hand again. Don't worry, it happens often to the most mediocre of us.
#23 Apr 03 2013 at 12:29 PM Rating: Excellent
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I figured you all would just make bongs out of watermelons or something.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#24 Apr 03 2013 at 12:36 PM Rating: Excellent
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What else are apples good for?
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#25 Apr 03 2013 at 12:42 PM Rating: Good
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I'd never tried smoking thru a watermelon. Apple bongs were hard to make. Toilet paper roll pipes were easy to make - and easy to destroy. I used them a lot as a teen.
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#26 Apr 03 2013 at 12:42 PM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
What else are apples good for?

Cider?

Edited, Apr 3rd 2013 11:42am by someproteinguy
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