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Help me understand...Martha StewartFollow

#27 Mar 14 2013 at 9:48 AM Rating: Good
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Oh I lolled so hard at the FHM link, thanks Smash.

This one is actually pretty reminiscent of everyone's favorite Nexa photo. Ah, how disappointed I am in my lack of photoshop abilities.
#28 Mar 14 2013 at 10:01 AM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
I don't know where you people live

Smiley: dubious
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#29 Mar 14 2013 at 10:03 AM Rating: Excellent
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I suyspect people watch so they can say they were one of the ones who were tuned in and saw Martha finally snap and kill everyone on the set with a shiv made of glass shards from a punch bowl some hapless intern drops immidiatly beforehand. Thats the oinly explanation that makes sense to me.
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#30 Mar 14 2013 at 10:11 AM Rating: Decent
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Smasharoo wrote:
I don't know where you people live


Yeah I don't know. I'm caring for an infant between posts, sometimes I lose the thread.
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#31 Mar 14 2013 at 10:25 AM Rating: Excellent
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I've known people who would probably need 10 minutes worth of instruction in order to fry an egg, and who would still **** it up.
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#32 Mar 14 2013 at 11:21 AM Rating: Decent
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Spoonless wrote:
I've known people who would probably need 10 minutes worth of instruction in order to fry an egg, and who would still @#%^ it up.


And there's a show for that. Been watching "Worst Cooks in America" on the Food Network. Funny stuff. I find myself vacillating between "This must be faked, no one can actually be that incompetent" to "Yeah. I can see that happening". The guy who decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich and was actually grilling the cheese (as in cheese directly on a grill) possibly took the cake though. What's strange about the show is that there's these supposedly incompetent cooks, yet they're being instructed on how to make preparations even most capable home cooks would rarely do. It's just an odd juxtapose of "can't cut carrots" and "now we let our wine sauce reduce" that's hard to rectify. I mean, I consider myself to be reasonably capable in the kitchen, but I don't think I've ever made a wine sauce reduction (don't make enough roasts or briskets or something I guess).

Mass media though, so whatever.
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#33 Mar 14 2013 at 12:34 PM Rating: Good
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gbaji wrote:
What's strange about the show is that there's these supposedly incompetent cooks, yet they're being instructed on how to make preparations even most capable home cooks would rarely do. It's just an odd juxtapose of "can't cut carrots" and "now we let our wine sauce reduce" that's hard to rectify. I mean, I consider myself to be reasonably capable in the kitchen, but I don't think I've ever made a wine sauce reduction (don't make enough roasts or briskets or something I guess).

Mass media though, so whatever.
It's not funny unless they fail.
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#34 Mar 14 2013 at 12:38 PM Rating: Excellent
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
It's not funny unless they fail.

That and I assume the premise is teaching people to do something well above their current skill grade. Who wants to watch people being taught how to bake a chicken breast?
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#35 Mar 14 2013 at 12:42 PM Rating: Good
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
It's not funny unless they fail.
That should be NASCAR's slogan.
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#36 Mar 14 2013 at 2:47 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
His Excellency Aethien wrote:
It's not funny unless they fail.

That and I assume the premise is teaching people to do something well above their current skill grade. Who wants to watch people being taught how to bake a chicken breast?
True but that's not what people tune in for.
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Theophany wrote:
YOU'RE AN ELITIST @#%^ AETHIEN, NO WONDER YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS AND PEOPLE HATE YOU.
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Aethien you take more terrible pictures than a Japanese tourist.
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One day, Maz, you'll learn not to click on anything Aeth links.
#37 Mar 14 2013 at 2:53 PM Rating: Excellent
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
His Excellency Aethien wrote:
It's not funny unless they fail.

That and I assume the premise is teaching people to do something well above their current skill grade. Who wants to watch people being taught how to bake a chicken breast?
True but that's not what people tune in for.

Boobies?
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#38 Mar 14 2013 at 3:21 PM Rating: Decent
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
His Excellency Aethien wrote:
It's not funny unless they fail.

That and I assume the premise is teaching people to do something well above their current skill grade. Who wants to watch people being taught how to bake a chicken breast?
True but that's not what people tune in for.

I actually do tune in to watch them teach novice cooks to add flare to otherwise basic dishes. Assuming you're not already a wiz in the kitchen, a person could pick up a few interesting techniques and ingredient recommendations from a show like that.

Worst cooks in 'Merica is probably the only "reality" show I can watch with interest.
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#39 Mar 14 2013 at 4:04 PM Rating: Good
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Unlike most of the other shows, where if someone fails it'll be in round one (an example is Cupcake Wars - the person who makes a novice baking mistake is always kicked out in round one), they're failing all over the place in Worst Cooks in America.

They're also pretty mean to them. During one seafood episode they made them kill a lobster by stabbing its head with a thin knife (in theory destroying its pea sized brain in one go, killing it instantly. Better than boiling it alive, though.) Understandably, several of the novice chefs were freaking out. I know I would be.

I've reduced a wine sauce. It's not really that hard.
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#40 Mar 14 2013 at 6:23 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
Smasharoo wrote:
I don't know where you people live


Yeah I don't know. I'm caring for an infant between posts, sometimes I lose the thread.

Remember to switch ******* on occasion else your nipple will get sore.
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#41 Mar 14 2013 at 6:29 PM Rating: Decent
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Smasharoo wrote:
Whatever you need to do to justify your own bad judgement.

Not sure how we get there. I'm pretty sure if took my wife and Rachel Ray and showed them to the ~3 Billion straight men in the world, about 2.9999 Billion of them would fine my wife more attractive.

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/24800000/FHM-Magazine-rachael-ray-24835459-400-491.jpg

If that works for you, hey that's great. It's my understanding there are also men who like women to shit on them. I'm not here to judge.

Nexa is quite the looker, to be sure, but I'm sure there's a combination of grogginess and bad lighting that makes her look like Helen Thomas in comparison to Rach's FHM spread.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#42 Mar 14 2013 at 6:30 PM Rating: Good
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Remember to switch ******* on occasion else your nipple will get sore.

Oh I have a wet nurse, don't be silly. The governess brings him to me for one hour, each day, and sometimes it's while I'm posting. Then we get a new governess. But it happens.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#43 Mar 14 2013 at 6:44 PM Rating: Excellent
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A certain google image search actually returns a few pictures of Nexa. Interestingly, it also returns a picture of Nadenu, and the best picture of the Clintons ever:
Screenshot


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#44 Mar 14 2013 at 6:52 PM Rating: Good
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On topic: I have seen Martha Stewart for more than 5 seconds on two occasions: once on Conan, and another time when she was making doilies or something.
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#45 Mar 14 2013 at 8:22 PM Rating: Decent
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Jophiel wrote:
Smasharoo wrote:
I don't know where you people live

Smiley: dubious

When you make THE LIST, he contacts Samira and her network starts collecting the relevant information. It's a highly professional organisation.

someproteinguy wrote:
I'll join the chorus; thread needs more visual aids.

They are easy enough to find on your own.
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#46 Mar 14 2013 at 11:37 PM Rating: Good
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I put "nexa allakhazam" into GIS. I didn't get a Nexa, but of the first 20 pictures 4 were my DingartsTM.Smiley: laugh
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#47 Mar 14 2013 at 11:43 PM Rating: Good
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Friar Bijou wrote:
I put "nexa allakhazam" into GIS. I didn't get a Nexa, but of the first 20 pictures 4 were my DingartsTM.Smiley: laugh


Apparently there is a Nexa (Plus!) prenatal vitamin, a Nexa Center for Internet and Society, and a Nexa "light and bold" font.
#48 Mar 15 2013 at 6:34 AM Rating: Excellent
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Belkira wrote:
Friar Bijou wrote:
I put "nexa allakhazam" into GIS. I didn't get a Nexa, but of the first 20 pictures 4 were my DingartsTM.Smiley: laugh


Apparently there is a Nexa (Plus!) prenatal vitamin, a Nexa Center for Internet and Society, and a Nexa "light and bold" font.


I sold some of my dna for the vitamin so that other people's children might have a small chance at being as awesome as mine.

Also, there's a picture of me on my wiki here you dorks...even if it's not a particularly good one and I look exhausted...you do get a glimpse of side boob. Happy Friday.

Nexa
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#49 Mar 15 2013 at 6:36 AM Rating: Excellent
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Oh, and I may be able to out-hawt Rachel Ray on a good day, but I think we can all agree that Giada's hawt like fire.

As an aside: it's apparently just me, because they're prolific, but I find photos of women rolling around in food really gross...even hawt chefs.

Nexa
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#50 Mar 15 2013 at 6:40 AM Rating: Good
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With the super-secret google search word I found them all.....



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#51 Mar 15 2013 at 6:42 AM Rating: Good
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Nexa wrote:
I think we can all agree that Giada's hawt like fire.

She has a beak.

You're a bigger deal.
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