There's so many things wrong with that statement that I'm not even sure where to begin. So if someone doesn't complain about something they don't know about, then it's really not a problem?
If the problem is only them being uncomfortable? Yes, that is correct. If they don't know it happened, it can't make them uncomfortable. If they aren't uncomfortable, there is no problem.
So it's ok to operate a peep hole in a dressing room as long as the people using it don't know and thus aren't uncomfortable with someone else watching them dress? I'm honestly curious how far the "what they don't know doesn't hurt them" approach goes.
And yeah, I think they would care if they knew.
Sure, some would, but not most. Ask any openly trans people who might end up using a public bathroom around people who know they are trans (coworkers, classmates, friends, etc). It's very rarely an issue.
Um... They're being polite (and politically correct) because they know the trans person. Ask 100 random women you don't know if they'd be ok with a man disguised as a woman using the women's restroom with them without informing them, and 99 of them will say they would not like that. The other one would apparently be Belkira, although she's probably being polite and politically correct as well.
It's just that when someone decides to make it an issue, they tend to really go all out.
No. I'm pretty sure everyone who isn't trying to spare your feelings feels that it's an imposition for you to do this. I mean, we all empathize with what you're going through, but that does not translate to "yeah, just use whichever restroom you feel most comfortable in". Again, this goes back to my earlier statement about violating 1000 people's comfort zone in order to make yourself more comfortable.
Yup. Which strongly suggests that they would care if they knew.
No, it really doesn't suggest anything. This is a completely different situation, and is not comparable at all.
I think it is. We both agree that if it's not obvious that you're a biological male using the women's restroom, that women aren't going to say or do anything. But you presume that it's because if they knew you had a penis they'd be fine with it anyway because your gender identity is female, and I presume it's because they don't know you have a penis and would be uncomfortable with that regardless of what you felt about yourself. I think my position is vastly more likely to represent the typical feelings of the US population. Of course, I'm inclined to do that because it's my position (duh), but I suspect that most people reading agree with me as well.
Call it intolerance if you want, but I think my statement more accurately reflects how people actually feel. Edited, Mar 26th 2013 5:32pm by gbaji