Being raped is traumatizing. It's just one of the most awful things that can ever happen. Ever. Mostly because often it's by someone you know and are supposed to be able to trust. Partly because feeling defenseless and powerless in any way breaks the human spirit. It's not something that the vast majority of men have had to deal with on the receiving end, and that's why when one of you trivializes it in any way, women react strongly. It's because we really feel that you just don't understand.
So would it be better off if it were a random stranger?