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But Will They Sell Cookies?Follow

#1 Jan 28 2013 at 3:39 PM Rating: Excellent
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Boy Scouts debating changing stance on *** leaders & youths
CNN wrote:
The Boy Scouts of America is considering changing its longstanding policy against allowing openly *** members, according to a release from the organization.

The organization, which has 2.7 million members, is "potentially discussing" doing away with its policy after months of nationwide protest, including hundreds of angry Eagle scouts renouncing their hard-earned awards and mailing back their red-white-and-blue medals.

Many parents of Scouts across America found the national policy excluding gays confusing -- and at odds with basic scouting ideals.

This comes on the tail of me ordering Girl Scout cookies the other week amidst Facebook warnings that doing so was essentially financing some Sapphic pedophilia coven. Still, you know, what's the virtue of a few young maidens when weighed against me eating Thin Mints?

Also in the news...
WHO TV, Des Moines wrote:
Dave Kochel, a veteran Iowa Republican strategist and 2012 Romney Iowa Campaign Senior Adviser, is now behind a new effort that could prove controversial with some Republican activists.

Kochel helped to organize an event for the Iowa Republicans for Freedom. Monday, January 28th, the group will sponsor an event with Ken Mehlman, a former Republican National Committee Chairman and key adviser to former President George W Bush.
[...]
No Republican presidential candidates came out in favor of same-*** marriages during the 2012 cycle, including Romney, Kochel’s candidate. But Kochel now admits, “The culture wars are over. And the Republicans, largely, lost.”
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#2 Jan 28 2013 at 3:43 PM Rating: Decent
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The Boy Scouts of America is considering changing its longstanding policy against allowing openly *** members, according to a release from the organization.


That'll totally make up for the decades of hiding child sexual abuse by their leaders on epic scale normally reserved for men in dresses and funny hats.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#3 Jan 28 2013 at 3:48 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Sapphic pedophilia coven.


Smiley: confused
#4 Jan 28 2013 at 3:50 PM Rating: Excellent
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Eske Esquire wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Sapphic pedophilia coven.


Smiley: confused


******* Kiddie Club
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#5 Jan 28 2013 at 3:52 PM Rating: Excellent
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I'm sure the Jesus Scouts will have a banner year of recruitment as everyone clamors to get away from the heathens.
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#6 Jan 28 2013 at 3:55 PM Rating: Good
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Eske Esquire wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Sapphic pedophilia coven.


Smiley: confused


They teach little girls to grow up and experiment with their roommates in college Smiley: schooled

(At least, that's how we always imagined the sorority houses' nights were...)
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#7 Jan 28 2013 at 3:55 PM Rating: Good
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According to the Guardian, this is 'breaking news'.

Is it, though? Is it really?
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#8 Jan 28 2013 at 4:04 PM Rating: Excellent
Are there actually Jesus Scouts?
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#9 Jan 28 2013 at 4:18 PM Rating: Excellent
Nice to see the world slowly turn to sanity Smiley: smile

Reading this, I came away thinking Smiley: cool when I read

Quote:
President Barack Obama -- the honorary head of the Scouts, as is every president -- supports *** and lesbians in Girl and Boy Scouts, as does former Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, a Mormon.


As buff as Obama is, he cannot compete with Bear Grylls. In this one case, UK>US Smiley: wink
#10 Jan 28 2013 at 4:19 PM Rating: Excellent
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Sir Xsarus wrote:
Are there actually Jesus Scouts?


If not you can bet there will be.
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#11 Jan 28 2013 at 4:24 PM Rating: Excellent
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Better drink my own ****
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#12 Jan 28 2013 at 5:28 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kavekk wrote:
According to the Guardian, this is 'breaking news'.

Is it, though? Is it really?

Well, it's news. This is the organization that went to the Supreme Court to defend its right to exclude homosexuals. Whether or not it's "breaking" is a matter for debate, I suppose.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#13 Jan 28 2013 at 6:11 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Kavekk wrote:
According to the Guardian, this is 'breaking news'.

Is it, though? Is it really?

Well, it's news. This is the organization that went to the Supreme Court to defend its right to exclude homosexuals. Whether or not it's "breaking" is a matter for debate, I suppose.


I don't resent it being reported or discussed. I don't think considering a policy change has the urgent character of breaking news, though, no.

A bit tangential, perhaps.

Edited, Jan 29th 2013 12:13am by Kavekk
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#14 Jan 28 2013 at 7:09 PM Rating: Excellent
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Eske Esquire wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Sapphic pedophilia coven.


Smiley: confused


NAWGLA doesn't quite have the same ring to it.
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You guys keep tossing facts out there like they mean something.


#15 Jan 28 2013 at 11:59 PM Rating: Excellent
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I had a girl scout (and her father) come by the house Sunday selling cookies. I had to scrounge change for $3.50 so I could purchase a box of thin mints, which lasted about 8 minutes after I opened them. I then got frustrated and jumped in the car to hit the ATM for more cash. Once I returned to the neighborhood I spent the next 15 minutes driving around looking for a little blonde girl pulling a wagon around so I could get another fix. I then realized what I was doing was a little creepy, and sad, so I admitted defeat and went back home to sulk.

The Boy Scouts never made me feel this way.
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#16 Jan 29 2013 at 12:04 AM Rating: Excellent
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Kakar wrote:
I had a girl scout (and her father) come by the house Sunday selling cookies. I had to scrounge change for $3.50 so I could purchase a box of thin mints, which lasted about 8 minutes after I opened them. I then got frustrated and jumped in the car to hit the ATM for more cash. Once I returned to the neighborhood I spent the next 15 minutes driving around looking for a little blonde girl pulling a wagon around so I could get another fix. I then realized what I was doing was a little creepy, and sad, so I admitted defeat and went back home to sulk.

The Boy Scouts never made me feel this way.


They would tell you that you should have been better prepared.
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This post brought to you by Carl's Jr.
gbaji wrote:
You guys keep tossing facts out there like they mean something.


#17 Jan 29 2013 at 1:34 AM Rating: Excellent
Quote:
I had a girl scout (and her father) come by the house Sunday selling cookies. I had to scrounge change for $3.50 so I could purchase a box of thin mints, which lasted about 8 minutes after I opened them. I then got frustrated and jumped in the car to hit the ATM for more cash. Once I returned to the neighborhood I spent the next 15 minutes driving around looking for a little blonde girl pulling a wagon around so I could get another fix. I then realized what I was doing was a little creepy, and sad, so I admitted defeat and went back home to sulk.

The Boy Scouts never made me feel this way.


That's because Cookies kick the ever loving shit out of popcorn. I was always jealous of the cash my sisters could pull in, back in the day.
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#18 Jan 29 2013 at 4:20 AM Rating: Good
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I don't resent it being reported or discussed. I don't think considering a policy change has the urgent character of breaking news, though, no.

You're wrong. When the Catholic Church considers allowing women or married men, or basically anyone who isn't a mincing boy hungry pederast into the clergy, that'll be news too.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#19 Jan 29 2013 at 8:05 AM Rating: Good
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My cookie-dealers are currently a pair of twins. I have to double-down on Thin mints and Tag-Alongs.

FOUR bucks a box this year in my neck of the woods. Smiley: frown

It's nice to see the boyscouts organization capitulating to modern humanity. Now they need to just need to dump the popcorn sales for something less healthy and more addictive.

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#20 Jan 29 2013 at 8:07 AM Rating: Excellent
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Omegavegeta wrote:
Quote:
I had a girl scout (and her father) come by the house Sunday selling cookies. I had to scrounge change for $3.50 so I could purchase a box of thin mints, which lasted about 8 minutes after I opened them. I then got frustrated and jumped in the car to hit the ATM for more cash. Once I returned to the neighborhood I spent the next 15 minutes driving around looking for a little blonde girl pulling a wagon around so I could get another fix. I then realized what I was doing was a little creepy, and sad, so I admitted defeat and went back home to sulk.

The Boy Scouts never made me feel this way.
That's because Cookies kick the ever loving shit out of popcorn. I was always jealous of the cash my sisters could pull in, back in the day.
Popcorn don't come in Thin Mints.
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#21 Jan 29 2013 at 8:09 AM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
It's nice to see the boyscouts organization capitulating to modern humanity. Now they need to just need to dump the popcorn sales for something less healthy and more addictive.

I'm thinking some sort of chocolate covered biscuit or cracker.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#22 Jan 29 2013 at 8:15 AM Rating: Excellent
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You guys are idiots. Dollar General sells generic girl scout cookies for half the price, tastes the same, and you can pick up a dozen boxes whenever you are feeling piggish.
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#23 Jan 29 2013 at 8:18 AM Rating: Good
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Girl Scout Cookies being seasonal is part of my diet.
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#24 Jan 29 2013 at 8:19 AM Rating: Good
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Criminy wrote:
You guys are idiots. Dollar General sells generic girl scout cookies for half the price, tastes the same, and you can pick up a dozen boxes whenever you are feeling piggish.


Dom Perignon loses it's luster when you drink it out of a dirty shoe.
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#25 Jan 29 2013 at 8:20 AM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
Criminy wrote:
You guys are idiots. Dollar General sells generic girl scout cookies for half the price, tastes the same, and you can pick up a dozen boxes whenever you are feeling piggish.


Dom Perignon loses it's luster when you drink it out of a dirty shoe.


Not unless you have a shoe fetish.
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"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
#26 Jan 29 2013 at 8:25 AM Rating: Excellent
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Criminy wrote:
You guys are idiots. Dollar General sells generic girl scout cookies for half the price, tastes the same, and you can pick up a dozen boxes whenever you are feeling piggish.

Unless Dollar General is going to turn my little eight year old missy into a *******, I don't see the point.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
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