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Anything over 8" is too much, anywayFollow

#1 Jan 25 2013 at 8:43 AM Rating: Excellent
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I'm too lazy to find a story to link but there's a couple class action lawsuits being filed right now against Subway. It seems that those "foot long" sandwiches are more like 10.5 inches long. I was listening to some hosts interview one of the lawyers filing the case and taking phone calls and they seemed a little surprised at the reaction. While they agreed the outcome of the lawsuit would be the standard "Lawyers get $3 million, rest of you get a nickle and a coupon each", they also noted that it really wasn't much different from buying a carton of a dozen eggs and the store only puts eleven in per carton. Whenever they'd ask someone "So should a company be able to short you nine or ten percent versus what's on the package?", the caller would hem and haw and then just say this suit was dumb.

Cast your judgement upon this suit!
It is a swift blow for justice against corporate corruption and deceit!:16 (39.0%)
It is a fool's playground, evidence of an overly litigious society unable to shepherd itself:25 (61.0%)
Total:41


That's right, Special Snowflakes, you only get two diametrically opposed choices. Where's your God now?
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#2 Jan 25 2013 at 8:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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"That's what she said."
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#3 Jan 25 2013 at 8:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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I vote fool's playground because Subway never mentioned which King's foot they were using for the measurement.
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#4 Jan 25 2013 at 8:47 AM Rating: Decent
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Let's skip the **** jokes, ok? We all can imagine all of them. ALL OF THEM. There are no original ones. So, ha ha, ****** There we go.
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#5 Jan 25 2013 at 8:49 AM Rating: Excellent
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This same suit was filed earlier in Australia and Subway made a brief show of trying to say "Well, 'Foot long' is just a trademark and doesn't mean anything" ("Foot long: Not intended to be a factual statement") but dropped that line of defense fairly quickly.

The guy on the radio said the suit included compilations of Subway ads with people holding their hands apart with a dotted line and the words "one foot" between them.
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#6 Jan 25 2013 at 9:06 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
This same suit was filed earlier in Australia and Subway made a brief show of trying to say "Well, 'Foot long' is just a trademark and doesn't mean anything" ("Foot long: Not intended to be a factual statement") but dropped that line of defense fairly quickly.

The guy on the radio said the suit included compilations of Subway ads with people holding their hands apart with a dotted line and the words "one foot" between them.


Yeah, it seems like Subway built up a mountain of evidence against themselves - I couldn't believe they even tried the "it's not intended to suggest that the subs are one foot long" defense.

If the actual sizes are well documented, then this should go forward, and it should win handily. I'm not up in arms about it, but false advertisement is a no-no.


As an aside, can I sue Quiznos for getting rid of the Club Carved Turkey? I miss that sandwich.
#7 Jan 25 2013 at 9:11 AM Rating: Excellent
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What I suspect is that the little loaf pans that the bread is supposed to be baked in are 12 inches long, but the bread contracts as it cools and thus sheds the extra inch and a half by the time the sandwich is actually ready for consumption.

If that's the case, I'm going with the fool's playground.
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#8 Jan 25 2013 at 9:20 AM Rating: Good
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Now I kind of want some Subway...
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#9 Jan 25 2013 at 9:24 AM Rating: Good
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Footlong
Wholewheat
Untoasted
tuna
no cheese
all the salad
no pickles
12 jalapano peppers
pepper, no salt
Ceaser dressing.

Thanks!
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#10 Jan 25 2013 at 9:25 AM Rating: Good
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My foot doesn't even reach nine inches so I'm getting a deal.

Subway for lunch!
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#11 Jan 25 2013 at 9:29 AM Rating: Good
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I seem to recall some deal being made about the foot-long hotdogs being sold at the MN state fair one year long ago not being a foot long. I think the dogs shrank on cooking.
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#12 Jan 25 2013 at 9:32 AM Rating: Good
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What I suspect is that the little loaf pans that the bread is supposed to be baked in are 12 inches long, but the bread contracts as it cools and thus sheds the extra inch and a half by the time the sandwich is actually ready for consumption.

Wow, that's some serious Gabji level suspicion right there. I suspect they had a small and a large and someone in marketing decided "footlong" sold better, and it wasn't worth the effort to restock everything to make them actually a foot.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#13 Jan 25 2013 at 10:26 AM Rating: Excellent
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Settle out of court for something that makes the lawyers some money but doesn't hurt the bottom line. Slap a sticker on the bag that says "bread length may vary." Move on with life.

Smasharoo wrote:
Let's skip the **** jokes, ok? We all can imagine all of them. ALL OF THEM. There are no original ones. So, ha ha, ****** There we go.


You can't skip it, it's tradition. Smiley: frown
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#14 Jan 25 2013 at 10:55 AM Rating: Good
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Smasharoo wrote:
Wow, that's some serious Gabji level suspicion right there. I suspect they had a small and a large and someone in marketing decided "footlong" sold better, and it wasn't worth the effort to restock everything to make them actually a foot.


That's possible too, but the way Subway does their bread is that the frozen dough is shipped to stores in logs, it's baked on site, and then set into a crisper until it's time to be made into a sandwich. The baking loaf pans have a groove where the bread sits to keep it nice and rounded on the sides. I'd bet you a sandwich that groove is 12 inches long.

Also, bread shrinks as it cools. It just does. That's physics - the steam escaping means less total volume of the loaf, and all matter except for water contracts as it cools. Considering the elongated nature of the sub sandwich, it's entirely possible that a foot long baguette is shedding over an inch from 350F to room temperature.

Edited, Jan 25th 2013 11:56am by catwho
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#15 Jan 25 2013 at 11:03 AM Rating: Excellent
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When I get a footlong from Subway, it usually has some meat sticking out 1/2 inch on either side. Do they include that? Footlong hot dogs usually stick out beyond their bun also.

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#16 Jan 25 2013 at 11:10 AM Rating: Good
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Is this a standard action in misrepresentation? Or is it under some kind of consumer protection legislation?
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#17 Jan 25 2013 at 11:14 AM Rating: Excellent
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When I get a foot long from Subway, I'm invariably disappointed because they make shitty sandwiches.
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#18 Jan 25 2013 at 11:16 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
When I get a foot long from Subway, I'm invariably disappointed because they make shitty sandwiches.


All of their sandwiches can be improved with a bit of ketchup and sriracha.
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#19 Jan 25 2013 at 11:17 AM Rating: Excellent
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someproteinguy wrote:
Settle out of court for something that makes the lawyers some money but doesn't hurt the bottom line. Slap a sticker on the bag that says "bread length may vary." Move on with life.


5.

5 Dollar.

5 Dollar Footlooooooonnnnggggg....nominal, 10.5" actual.

It's c-c-catching onnnnnnnnnn.....
#20 Jan 25 2013 at 11:18 AM Rating: Decent
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Kavekk wrote:
Is this a standard action in misrepresentation? Or is it under some kind of consumer protection legislation?

Both. The foot-long title is a misrepresentation of the dimensions of the subway sandwich. This misinformation could lead to the consumer making faulty choices that could adversely impact their health or economic well-being.

My doctor says I have to have precisely 24 inches a week. Am I expected to have to keep a ruler in pocket?

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#21 Jan 25 2013 at 11:23 AM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
My doctor says I have to have precisely 24 inches a week. Am I expected to have to keep a ruler in pocket?


Well, it'll help you get a few of the requisite inches (7-10"...your mileage may vary), but I'd think that a ruler's sharp edges would be a little rough on that particular pocket.
#22 Jan 25 2013 at 11:24 AM Rating: Good
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Eske Esquire wrote:
someproteinguy wrote:
Settle out of court for something that makes the lawyers some money but doesn't hurt the bottom line. Slap a sticker on the bag that says "bread length may vary." Move on with life.


5.

5 Dollar.

5 Dollar Footlooooooonnnnggggg....nominal, 10.5" actual.

It's c-c-catching onnnnnnnnnn.....

If we'd gone metric when we were supposed to we'd be sharing meterlongs by now.

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#23 Jan 25 2013 at 11:24 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
When I get a foot long from Subway, I'm invariably disappointed because they make shitty sandwiches.

It's 5/7ths as good as a Jimmy Johns or Panera sandwich, and it's 5/7ths the cost. Works out.
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#24 Jan 25 2013 at 11:31 AM Rating: Excellent
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Yeah, but it's not as though I can buy another 2/7ths and have it make 7/7ths of good sandwich. I just wind up with that much more sub-par eating to get through.
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#25 Jan 25 2013 at 11:35 AM Rating: Good
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? You keep buying food until you've reached a set dollar amount, and then are compelled to eat the entirety of that food?

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#26 Jan 25 2013 at 11:41 AM Rating: Excellent
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I was riffing off your 5/7ths remark. Don't over think it.
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