I never tan. I just get more moles over time.
My wife and oldest kid are of the "don't tan, just burn" complexion. I don't really burn, I haven't used sunscreen in my adult life, really. I spend plenty of time outside, the only thing I've ever noticed was a slight burn on the exciting thinning/bald spot that's grown on the crown of my head in the last few years. So now I just wear a yamaka all the time.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.