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Fifty Shades of GreyFollow

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#52 Jun 21 2012 at 7:59 AM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
Belkira wrote:
The check out lady asked me what the book was about. I replied, "sex." She said "oh, isn't it a mystery?" I said, "No, it's just about sex. That's it."

I suppose that'll teach her to ask about people's purchases. Smiley: lol
I posted this game suggestion elsewhere, but the challenge is that you can only buy two items, and the goal is to pick ta combination that will make the cashier the most uncomfortable. Something like a dozen bananas and a bottle of KY.


Aziz Ansari wrote:
I was down at CVS and I had a rather odd assortment of items I needed to get. I had to get a liter of Jack Daniels, a two-liter bottle of Coca-Cola, a box of condoms, and a ten-pack of blank CD-R discs. And I thought it’d be awesome if every morning I went and bought those same four things for like six months. Just to develop this really weird reputation with the staff there. Where they’d be like “Hold on a second, man, this guy drinks a liter of Jack & Coke everyday, has sex twelve times a day, and then burns ten blank CDs? Ten blank CDs?! Ten discs? That’s like 7.5GBs a day! What kind of data is he packing up? Wouldn’t it make more sense just to get an external hard-drive at this point? Is he burning music? Wouldn’t it make more sense just to get an iPod? Maybe he’s making mix-CDs for all these girls that he’s ******’. Two of those girls ain’t getting CDs though.

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#53 Jun 21 2012 at 8:04 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Belkira wrote:
The check out lady asked me what the book was about. I replied, "sex." She said "oh, isn't it a mystery?" I said, "No, it's just about sex. That's it."

I suppose that'll teach her to ask about people's purchases. Smiley: lol
I posted this game suggestion elsewhere, but the challenge is that you can only buy two items, and the goal is to pick a combination of items that will make the cashier the most uncomfortable. Something like a dozen bananas and a bottle of KY.

Edited, Jun 21st 2012 9:57am by lolgaxe

I once rang up someone who purchased a pineapple and a teapot. Smiley: confused

Edited, Jun 21st 2012 9:04am by AshOnMyTomatoes
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#54 Jun 21 2012 at 8:14 AM Rating: Excellent
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LockeColeMA wrote:
... Euphemism for *************
Now don't make anyone uncomfortable.
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#55 Jun 21 2012 at 8:35 AM Rating: Excellent
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In my experience as both a customer and retail drone, cashiers are in such a fugue state that you could throw a bound five-year old child and a bottle of KY on the conveyer belt and they'd only pause long enough to look for a bar code on the kid.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
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#56 Jun 21 2012 at 8:40 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Belkira wrote:
The check out lady asked me what the book was about. I replied, "sex." She said "oh, isn't it a mystery?" I said, "No, it's just about sex. That's it."

I suppose that'll teach her to ask about people's purchases. Smiley: lol
I posted this game suggestion elsewhere, but the challenge is that you can only buy two items, and the goal is to pick a combination of items that will make the cashier the most uncomfortable. Something like a dozen bananas and a bottle of KY.

Edited, Jun 21st 2012 9:57am by lolgaxe

To the cashiers credit, there is a book titled Shades of Grey that came out earlier this year with a kind of big splash - and it is a mystery of sorts (three shorts on death). I listened to a book review/author interview on it. I remembered it cuz during the interview the author bemoaned the title similarity and the confusion that ensued.
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#57 Jun 21 2012 at 8:56 AM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
Belkira wrote:
The check out lady asked me what the book was about. I replied, "sex." She said "oh, isn't it a mystery?" I said, "No, it's just about sex. That's it."

I suppose that'll teach her to ask about people's purchases. Smiley: lol
I posted this game suggestion elsewhere, but the challenge is that you can only buy two items, and the goal is to pick a combination of items that will make the cashier the most uncomfortable. Something like a dozen bananas and a bottle of KY.

Edited, Jun 21st 2012 9:57am by lolgaxe

To the cashiers credit, there is a book titled Shades of Grey that came out earlier this year with a kind of big splash - and it is a mystery of sorts (three shorts on death). I listened to a book review/author interview on it. I remembered it cuz during the interview the author bemoaned the title similarity and the confusion that ensued.


Bemoaned it all the way to the bank, I bet.
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#58 Jun 21 2012 at 11:45 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
In my experience as both a customer and retail drone, cashiers are in such a fugue state that you could throw a bound five-year old child and a bottle of KY on the conveyer belt and they'd only pause long enough to look for a bar code on the kid.


Challenge accepted. Anyone have a kid I can borrow?
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#59 Jun 21 2012 at 12:20 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
In my experience as both a customer and retail drone, cashiers are in such a fugue state that you could throw a bound five-year old child and a bottle of KY on the conveyer belt and they'd only pause long enough to look for a bar code on the kid.


That would depend largely on the cashier and their energy level. I always had to suppress a grin any time I saw sex related stuff come through my line. Then again, I'm a pervert, so there you go.
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#60 Jun 21 2012 at 8:01 PM Rating: Decent
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PigtailsOfDoom wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
In my experience as both a customer and retail drone, cashiers are in such a fugue state that you could throw a bound five-year old child and a bottle of KY on the conveyer belt and they'd only pause long enough to look for a bar code on the kid.


That would depend largely on the cashier and their energy level. I always had to suppress a grin any time I saw sex related stuff come through my line. Then again, I'm a pervert, so there you go.

A bottle of EVOO, two cucumbers and a bag of clothespins.
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we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
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#61 Jun 21 2012 at 8:04 PM Rating: Decent
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Elinda wrote:
Kavekk wrote:
Quote:
I have long held the belief that erotica books are like **** for women.


Only women can read.
True enough.

My son gave my husband some new computer speakers for fathers day. After about 10-15 minutes the two of them still hadn't managed to get any noise to come out of those speakers. They'd been to the device driver place, they'd re-booted, the had tried an alternate USB port.

I strolled by and noticed writing on the box. It was instructions. Three steps - 1. Plug in the audio cord to your headphone port, 2. plug in the USB connector 3. Turn on speakers.

Apparently they'd been having trouble with the third step. Apparently, the power button was camouflaged. Fortunately, I was able to use an accompanying picture on the box to lead them to the location of the hidden on/off switch.

So, USB-powered with an audio cord?

I had a similar problem setting up a system for work. After I left the client complained that her speakers weren't working. As it turns out I had plugged the AC power for the speakers into a separate power strip, that wasn't turned on.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
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#62 Jun 21 2012 at 8:43 PM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Belkira wrote:
The check out lady asked me what the book was about. I replied, "sex." She said "oh, isn't it a mystery?" I said, "No, it's just about sex. That's it."

I suppose that'll teach her to ask about people's purchases. Smiley: lol
I posted this game suggestion elsewhere, but the challenge is that you can only buy two items, and the goal is to pick a combination of items that will make the cashier the most uncomfortable. Something like a dozen bananas and a bottle of KY.

Edited, Jun 21st 2012 9:57am by lolgaxe

I've gone into the dollar store and bought the 9 roll pack of TP and a bottle of bowl cleaner. Smiley: grin
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#63 Jun 21 2012 at 10:10 PM Rating: Good
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Debalic wrote:
PigtailsOfDoom wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
In my experience as both a customer and retail drone, cashiers are in such a fugue state that you could throw a bound five-year old child and a bottle of KY on the conveyer belt and they'd only pause long enough to look for a bar code on the kid.


That would depend largely on the cashier and their energy level. I always had to suppress a grin any time I saw sex related stuff come through my line. Then again, I'm a pervert, so there you go.

A bottle of EVOO, two cucumbers and a bag of clothespins.


I would have a really hard time not giggling at that.
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