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#1 May 30 2012 at 11:34 AM Rating: Excellent
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My girlfriend just sent me this article. First of all, that picture is priceless. For those of you that never watched SatC, the lead character, Carrie, has an explosive fight with her boyfriend, fabulous make-up *** and then famously wakes up to a post-it that says "I'm sorry, I can't. Don't hate me."

So far, I know of at least five women who have gotten the #1 breakup line this year, one via text eerily similar to the above. Watching Mad Men with Joph the other night, they are pitching a Jaguar and they compare the car to a temperamental mistress. Don's wife, a hottie, sarcastically then asks if a wife is like a Buick in the garage.

I understand the feeling of being too young to be chained down with kids, but I suppose I have a hard time understanding what men view as the limiting aspect of a monogamous relationship besides the obvious. Does life really feel like it's ending if you aren't ******* multiple flavors? Can you not travel with a partner, not experience life? Most of these girls are HAWT, don't want kids, really good times. A simple case of the grass is greener? I'm not asking about your penises, boys. I know you like ***. What, in this modern age and with modern self-sufficient women, is so limiting? Is it simply a case of not finding the right gal? I'm curious. It's an epidemic among single gals my age.

Also P.S. Joph- Thanks for keeping me out of the dating pool, kid. Smiley: inlove
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#2 May 30 2012 at 11:50 AM Rating: Good
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Atomicflea wrote:
My girlfriend just sent me this article. First of all, that picture is priceless. For those of you that never watched SatC, the lead character, Carrie, has an explosive fight with her boyfriend, fabulous make-up *** and then famously wakes up to a post-it that says "I'm sorry, I can't. Don't hate me."

So far, I know of at least five women who have gotten the #1 breakup line this year, one via text eerily similar to the above. Watching Mad Men with Joph the other night, they are pitching a Jaguar and they compare the car to a temperamental mistress. Don's wife, a hottie, sarcastically then asks if a wife is like a Buick in the garage.

I understand the feeling of being too young to be chained down with kids, but I suppose I have a hard time understanding what men view as the limiting aspect of a monogamous relationship besides the obvious. Does life really feel like it's ending if you aren't @#%^ing multiple flavors? Can you not travel with a partner, not experience life? Most of these girls are HAWT, don't want kids, really good times. A simple case of the grass is greener? I'm not asking about your penises, boys. I know you like ***. What, in this modern age and with modern self-sufficient women, is so limiting? Is it simply a case of not finding the right gal? I'm curious. It's an epidemic among single gals my age.

Also P.S. Joph- Thanks for keeping me out of the dating pool, kid. Smiley: inlove

I think your assumption is flawed. You suggest it may be about liking ***, but I think you ignore the biological imperative. Granted, many men overcome this and are faithful in any relationship they are currently in, but that is not because they are more evolved and don't suffer the urge. It is because they are better at sublimating their nature to a conscious desire.
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#3 May 30 2012 at 11:53 AM Rating: Decent
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Or they have wives like me who laid down the law early in the relationship and pointed out that an affair would probably end in a nasty divorce no matter how sorry he is. I'm pretty tolerant of a lot of things, but the risk of disease that comes from an unfaithful partner is not one of them.
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#4 May 30 2012 at 11:55 AM Rating: Good
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1 I'm not ready for a relationship = ...thank you ma'am.
2 Bad hygiene = Never realized looking good takes effort, you broke that myth and they can't reconcile it.
3 I don't feel like I'm a priority = Why aren't you paying attention to me constantly? My mom made me the center of her universe.
4 Too much fighting = I'm mad and it's your fault.
5 Your *** drive is too low = Why don't you always want ***? Because I always want ***.
6 Lack of punctuality = Congrats, you successfully countered #2, only to get hit with this.
7 There's someone else = #5, with some lying and deceit mixed in.
8 Bad kisser = See #7
9 I don't see a future with you = Could be any of the above, I'm not very good at this 'breaking up' thing, and can't think of anything better to say, so yeah...
10 Too hairy = @#%^phile in hiding, run like the wind.

Edited, May 30th 2012 11:05am by someproteinguy
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#5 May 30 2012 at 11:55 AM Rating: Excellent
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catwho wrote:
Or they have wives like me who laid down the law early in the relationship and pointed out that an affair would probably end in a nasty divorce no matter how sorry he is. I'm pretty tolerant of a lot of things, but the risk of disease that comes from an unfaithful partner is not one of them.

Like I said, sublimating nature to a conscious desire.
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#6 May 30 2012 at 12:22 PM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
10 Too hairy = @#%^phile in hiding, run like the wind.
While completely bald is kind of creepy, I doubt many people want to go face to face with a wookiee either.
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#7 May 30 2012 at 12:27 PM Rating: Good
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I'm still relatively young (and, as of right now, unmarried), but I haven't run into any issues with this yet. Early on, there was a girl that I flirted with a bit, but that was only a few months into the relationship and during a long-distance period where I was fairly certain I was going to be dumped. Never went any further than that, and don't see myself having the urge to later on, either.

The fiancee doesn't come on too clingy, though. She didn't really bring up marriage until about 4 years in, and neither of us have much interest in kids at this point. I'm getting everything I could want monogamously right now, and if I ever feel that I'm not, talking about it seems to pretty much remedy whatever the issue is.

But like I said, I'm young and naive, so I doubt my anecdote is worth much on the subject.
#8 May 30 2012 at 12:48 PM Rating: Good
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9 I don't see a future with you

This is why I ended the relationship with my last girlfriend. Basically, I was living in the city, working in a pretty good job, and looking to start advancing my career/life. She, on the other hand, was still living at home, taking part-time classes at her local community college with no clear career plan in mind, and generally just hanging out and smoking pot.

There was just too much disparity between our medium- and long-term goals.

Edited, May 30th 2012 1:49pm by Demea
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#9 May 30 2012 at 12:50 PM Rating: Good
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Does life really feel like it's ending if you aren't @#%^ing multiple flavors?


Yes. Does life really feel like it's ending if the one flavor you've decided is your favorite and latched onto isn't being made any more? Does it matter if the sous chef boils the egg instead of the chef de cuisine? Does it matter if the Bordeaux is decanted an hour before your drink it or five minutes? Does it really make you feel like stabbing yourself in the face when you think about Crème brûlée that doesn't crack?

It's a gender based evolutionary difference. It's fairly well understood. (I did say "fairly"). Men want to bone a lot of partners, women want to be the single focus of interest from their partner(s). Both genders struggle with normalizing instinct to fit rational existence. With varying degrees of success.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#10 May 30 2012 at 12:55 PM Rating: Decent
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I'm trying to figure out the whole 'bad hygiene' issue. I always thought women were more hygienically correct. Is it simply the discovery that women have hairy buttholes too?
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#11 May 30 2012 at 12:56 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
Men want to bone a lot of partners, women want to be the single focus of interest from their partner(s).

According to the data from that article, women are doing about 5 percentage points more cheating than men.
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#12 May 30 2012 at 12:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
I'm trying to figure out the whole 'bad hygiene' issue. I always thought women were more hygienically correct. Is it simply the discovery that women have hairy buttholes too?

Nah, it's discovering that she didn't really clean it out before you blast her in the ***.
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#13 May 30 2012 at 1:03 PM Rating: Good
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According to the data from that article, women are doing about 5 percentage points more cheating than men.


Yes, primarily because they don't feel sufficiently the focus of attention from their partner. Much less so because they want strange **** in itself. I don't know if you're driving at some similarity between motivation, but there really doesn't seem to be one. I'm not sure why it's a big deal. We have drives that don't "work" in the context of the modern social contract. I have a drive to eat ice cream and drink whiskey all day. Fortunately, I have the discipline to limit that sort of thing to every other day.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#14 May 30 2012 at 1:04 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
It's a gender based evolutionary difference. It's fairly well understood. (I did say "fairly"). Men want to bone a lot of partners, women want to be the single focus of interest from their partner(s).


Even as a guy, I've never understood that about men, or why it's the case with some of them at least. I've just never had the urge to just sleep around I guess, and can't really grasp why others feel the need to. Maybe things will change someday or something. I suppose that I'm not one of the single men in the survey either... Smiley: rolleyes
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#15 May 30 2012 at 1:05 PM Rating: Decent
Elinda wrote:
I'm trying to figure out the whole 'bad hygiene' issue. I always thought women were more hygienically correct. Is it simply the discovery that women have hairy buttholes too?


I thought that was weird too. I'm guessing guys don't like having girlfriends who are as disgusting as they are?
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#16 May 30 2012 at 1:05 PM Rating: Good
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Even as a guy, I've never understood that about men, or why it's the case with some of them at least. I've just never had the urge to just sleep around I guess, and can't really grasp why others feel the need to.


You're almost certainly lying.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#17 May 30 2012 at 1:07 PM Rating: Good
someproteinguy wrote:
Smasharoo wrote:
It's a gender based evolutionary difference. It's fairly well understood. (I did say "fairly"). Men want to bone a lot of partners, women want to be the single focus of interest from their partner(s).


Even as a guy, I've never understood that about men, or why it's the case with some of them at least. I've just never had the urge to just sleep around I guess, and can't really grasp why others feel the need to. Maybe things will change someday or something. I suppose that I'm not one of the single men in the survey either... Smiley: rolleyes


Yeah, not all guys are like that, and some women ARE. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say it probably has something to do with testosterone levels. Testosterone makes people horny, which is why men are more likely to want to **** everything than women. I think that if you've never felt that way before, you probably aren't going to start feeling that way at some random point in the future. I could be wrong though.
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#18 May 30 2012 at 1:18 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:

Even as a guy, I've never understood that about men, or why it's the case with some of them at least. I've just never had the urge to just sleep around I guess, and can't really grasp why others feel the need to.


You're almost certainly lying.


I've kinda just assumed it's closer to what Pigtails said. Either those men who feel the need to sleep around are wired differently than me, or they just have ****-poor self control.
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#19 May 30 2012 at 1:27 PM Rating: Decent
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someproteinguy wrote:
Smasharoo wrote:

Even as a guy, I've never understood that about men, or why it's the case with some of them at least. I've just never had the urge to just sleep around I guess, and can't really grasp why others feel the need to.


You're almost certainly lying.


I've kinda just assumed it's closer to what Pigtails said. Either those men who feel the need to sleep around are wired differently than me, or they just have ****-poor self control.


Way to give yourself away.

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#20 May 30 2012 at 1:28 PM Rating: Excellent
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Quote:
I understand the feeling of being too young to be chained down with kids, but I suppose I have a hard time understanding what men view as the limiting aspect of a monogamous relationship besides the obvious.


Maybe I'm misunderstanding something, but what does saying "It's not you, it's me" have to do with a fear of monogamy? Maybe that was the point of the episode, and you didn't mention it? Just didn't really see the tie-in.

I struggled to not use this line when I dumped my last girlfriend. Really it was her - I could point out several reasons I didn't see a long-term relationship working out, and none were a fear of monogamy; at most it was a fear that "she's not right for you." I'm a serial monogamist and have never had an issue being "exclusive" with a girl. But I'll also be the first to admit that many times I flirt and date girls who I wouldn't pick as life partners, only to (unsurprisingly) break up a few months later. Case-in-point, issues with the last girlfriend:

-Clash on religious beliefs.
-Clash on family (I always felt uncomfortable around her family)
-Clash on where we are in our lives... I was 4 years older and she was still in college. I wanted to move out of town; she was there for at least two more years
-Personality differences, especially emotions. I'm pretty easy going and open when talking about what's bothering me. She broods, looks internally, and gives the silent treatment for days on end. This would repeat almost every month, getting more and more frustrating each time.
- Physical attraction. Vain as it is, from when I met her to when we broke up she put on nearly 40 pounds and became by far the biggest girl I've dated. It's awkward to have a 21-year-old with blatant stretch marks. As her father is over 350 lbs, I didn't like the future I was seeing.

Anyway, fear of monogamy was never an issue - if anything, I thought she'd make a great wife. Just not for me. Most of my friends are similar - mid-20s and not looking for a fling, but a partner with whom they can spend their lives. Thus I've never really understood where this "fear of monogamy" stereotype comes from; none of my social group have ever displayed it.

Edit: Going by the list, by tops would be:

1. I don't see a future with you
2. Too much fighting
3. Lack of punctuality (one girl I was with would routinely and constantly double or triple book times, then call up and cancel. Frustrating as all ****. Guess this could be "I don't feel like I'm a priority)

Edited, May 30th 2012 3:31pm by LockeColeMA
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#21 May 30 2012 at 1:29 PM Rating: Decent
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I've kinda just assumed it's closer to what Pigtails said. Either those men who feel the need to sleep around are wired differently than me, or they just have ****-poor self control.


See, the part where you mention self control indicates that I'm correct about your lack of veracity. We call that "a tell". (I'm just kidding, no one really uses that term outside of terrible B movies).

I'm going to assume you aren't shockingly handsome, witty, charming, have an air of innate mischief and, yes, cruelty lurking just beneath a polished veneer that women find irresistible. I suspect you're mastery of "self control" and lack of desire for other partners has more to do with opportunity than discipline. Now, I'd never cheat on Nexa, obviously, but pretending I have a complete lack of desire for any of the other 3 billion women on the planet is just lying.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#22 May 30 2012 at 1:33 PM Rating: Excellent
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My husband and I both have our lists of people we're allowed to cheat with. Since he tops his list with Halle Barry, I don't feel like I have a lot to worry about.
#23 May 30 2012 at 1:34 PM Rating: Decent
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LockeColeMA wrote:
Quote:
I understand the feeling of being too young to be chained down with kids, but I suppose I have a hard time understanding what men view as the limiting aspect of a monogamous relationship besides the obvious.


Maybe I'm misunderstanding something, but what does saying "It's not you, it's me" have to do with a fear of monogamy? Maybe that was the point of the episode, and you didn't mention it? Just didn't really see the tie-in.

I struggled to not use this line when I dumped my last girlfriend. Really it was her - I could point out several reasons I didn't see a long-term relationship working out, and none were a fear of monogamy; at most it was a fear that "she's not right for you." I'm a serial monogamist and have never had an issue being "exclusive" with a girl. But I'll also be the first to admit that many times I flirt and date girls who I wouldn't pick as life partners, only to (unsurprisingly) break up a few months later. Case-in-point, issues with the last girlfriend:

-Clash on religious beliefs.
-Clash on family (I always felt uncomfortable around her family)
-Clash on where we are in our lives... I was 4 years older and she was still in college. I wanted to move out of town; she was there for at least two more years
-Personality differences, especially emotions. I'm pretty easy going and open when talking about what's bothering me. She broods, looks internally, and gives the silent treatment for days on end. This would repeat almost every month, getting more and more frustrating each time.
- Physical attraction. Vain as it is, from when I met her to when we broke up she put on nearly 40 pounds and became by far the biggest girl I've dated. It's awkward to have a 21-year-old with blatant stretch marks. As her father is over 350 lbs, I didn't like the future I was seeing.

Anyway, fear of monogamy was never an issue - if anything, I thought she'd make a great wife. Just not for me. Most of my friends are similar - mid-20s and not looking for a fling, but a partner with whom they can spend their lives. Thus I've never really understood where this "fear of monogamy" stereotype comes from; none of my social group have ever displayed it.

Edit: Going by the list, by tops would be:

1. I don't see a future with you
2. Too much fighting
3. Lack of punctuality (one girl I was with would routinely and constantly double or triple book times, then call up and cancel. Frustrating as all ****. Guess this could be "I don't feel like I'm a priority)

Edited, May 30th 2012 3:31pm by LockeColeMA

Is it you who has trouble with roommates too?
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#24 May 30 2012 at 1:38 PM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
Is it you who has trouble with roommates too?


If you mean the apartmentmate last year who suffered a mental breakdown and got arrested twice (once for trespassing while hallucinating, and once for firing off a fire extinguisher in someone else's apartment), then yes? Not sure what you're referring to otherwise. Love my apartmentmates this year.

Edit: Oh, unless you're talking about my old roommates back in college several years ago. Not sure if I talked about them here. One was super religious and dating a girl who was practically a carbon copy of his mother; the other one is engaged and has had some issues, but generally they're ok.

Edited, May 30th 2012 3:39pm by LockeColeMA
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#25 May 30 2012 at 1:38 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smasharoo wrote:
Now, I'd never cheat on Nexa, obviously, but pretending I have a complete lack of desire for any of the other 3 billion women on the planet is just lying.


Smiley: dubious

Then why the argument? I never said I wasn't attracted to other women, only that I had no urge to sleep with them; totally different things. Well in my mind at least... Smiley: rolleyes


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#26 May 30 2012 at 1:44 PM Rating: Good
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Then why the argument? I never said I wasn't attracted to other women, only that I had no urge to sleep with them; totally different things.


Yeah, I suppose that's true. How foolish of me not to discriminate between sexual attraction and being attracted to women you want to join a quilting circle with, or who you'd really LOVE to change the sweet sweet oil of their Honda Accords. Oh yeah, that drive to slide under the dark space beneath the engine and just shove that wrench hard enough to loose that sweet sticky 10w40, I know what you're talking about man.

Really, I have no idea. You want to **** women you're "attracted" to. That's how that works, son. If you have trouble dealing with that because you think it's "wrong" or whatever the hang up is, that's not my problem.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

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