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#52 May 31 2012 at 11:44 AM Rating: Decent
v-card carrier? Are you insinuating that I'm a virgin or that I like sleeping with them? Neither is true to be honest. I suppose it can be fun to train newbies, but I've never liked it. I'd much rather sleep with someone who already knows what they're doing. Then again, out of my adult relationships, all of the "serious" ones have been virgins when I started dating them. One turned out to be asexual, the other is the guy I've been with for the last 4.5 years. We've had our struggles, but things are definitely better now in the sex department, than they were initially. Part of the issues with him is that he had a bunch of religious ******** baggage to go along with the v-card. That made things even more complicated than they needed to be.
#53 May 31 2012 at 11:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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50,767 posts
v-card is ******.
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#54 May 31 2012 at 11:55 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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lolgaxe wrote:
v-card is ******.

Would it be correct to assume a p-card is a *****. Or maybe it doesn't work that way? Smiley: clown
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#55 May 31 2012 at 11:58 AM Rating: Excellent
Meat Popsicle
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13,666 posts
Elinda wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
v-card is ******.

Would it be correct to assume a p-card is a *****. Or maybe it doesn't work that way? Smiley: clown


Goddammit. Now I'm never going to be able to order anything at work with a straight face. Smiley: lol
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#56 May 31 2012 at 12:00 PM Rating: Excellent
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p-card is a captain on a starship. Everyone knows that.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#57 May 31 2012 at 12:05 PM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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16,781 posts
lolgaxe wrote:
p-card is a captain on a starship. Everyone knows that.
Jean-Luc ***** - He has a phallic aura about him, does he not?
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Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#58 May 31 2012 at 12:11 PM Rating: Excellent
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12,049 posts
PigtailsOfDoom wrote:
I suppose it can be fun to train newbies, but I've never liked it. I'd much rather sleep with someone who already knows what they're doing. Then again, out of my adult relationships, all of the "serious" ones have been virgins when I started dating them.


Good Christ, you're the female version of me. Not sure how it happens, but all of my girlfriends (you know, the kind you actually ask to be your girlfriend) have been virgins when we started dating. I've carried on more casual, non-"official" relationships with girls who weren't, but every "girlfriend" had her V-card intact when we started dating.

My friends make terrible jokes at my expense, saying I'm trying to collect a complete deck Smiley: glare
#59 May 31 2012 at 12:16 PM Rating: Good
Yeah... it sucks. Now I'm looking to add one to the stable who has only slept with one other person before. Ordinarily that wouldn't bother me, but considering what he's told me of his love life (all of his relationships except one, and not the one he had sex with, have lasted two weeks or less), I can't help wondering why this happens to me. I didn't have this problem in Eugene, but it seems like all of the cute nerdy guys in this town who are available are n00bs when it comes to sex.
#60 May 31 2012 at 12:32 PM Rating: Good
Atomicflea wrote:
MoebiusLord wrote:
I think your assumption is flawed. You suggest it may be about liking sex, but I think you ignore the biological imperative. Granted, many men overcome this and are faithful in any relationship they are currently in, but that is not because they are more evolved and don't suffer the urge. It is because they are better at sublimating their nature to a conscious desire.
Pardons, yesterday was a cluster@#%^ and just looking at these now. I ignore the biological imperative because I think it's sexist and bullsh*t.

And I ignore the transition from night to day because I think it's arbitrary and bullsh*t. That doesn't make the sun come up any more slowly.
#61 May 31 2012 at 12:34 PM Rating: Excellent
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18,463 posts
PigtailsOfDoom wrote:
v-card carrier? Are you insinuating that I'm a virgin or that I like sleeping with them? Neither is true to be honest. I suppose it can be fun to train newbies, but I've never liked it. I'd much rather sleep with someone who already knows what they're doing. Then again, out of my adult relationships, all of the "serious" ones have been virgins when I started dating them. One turned out to be asexual, the other is the guy I've been with for the last 4.5 years. We've had our struggles, but things are definitely better now in the sex department, than they were initially. Part of the issues with him is that he had a bunch of religious bullsh*t baggage to go along with the v-card. That made things even more complicated than they needed to be.

This is awesome.
#62 May 31 2012 at 12:35 PM Rating: Good
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6,760 posts
I think anyone who used the "I'm not ready for a relationship" was really saying "There's someone else, or will be" so that list is skewed. In fact, the argument could be made for half of those reasons to really be they're looking somewhere else.

Speaking for myself, I think I got over that once I hit 25. Some don't ever get past it I guess.
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#63 May 31 2012 at 12:45 PM Rating: Excellent
Gurue
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16,299 posts
Atomicflea wrote:
PigtailsOfDoom wrote:
v-card carrier? Are you insinuating that I'm a virgin or that I like sleeping with them? Neither is true to be honest. I suppose it can be fun to train newbies, but I've never liked it. I'd much rather sleep with someone who already knows what they're doing. Then again, out of my adult relationships, all of the "serious" ones have been virgins when I started dating them. One turned out to be asexual, the other is the guy I've been with for the last 4.5 years. We've had our struggles, but things are definitely better now in the sex department, than they were initially. Part of the issues with him is that he had a bunch of religious bullsh*t baggage to go along with the v-card. That made things even more complicated than they needed to be.

This is awesome.

In an overly-caffeinated kind of way.
#64 May 31 2012 at 12:49 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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TILT
Atomicflea wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
If you're having the "the List" conversation, the thing to do is let her go first and name a bunch of celebrities. Then when it's your turn, name off your neighbors, your partner's friends, etc. Epic Lulz will ensue, trust me.
Having seen our neighbors, consider this a free pass.

Hellllllooooooooo yard parrot!

Quote:
dorking like rabbits with a rainbow of partners.

I think that's a Benetton ad.

Edited, May 31st 2012 1:52pm by Jophiel
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#65 May 31 2012 at 12:51 PM Rating: Decent
Lunatic
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30,086 posts

I think anyone who used the "I'm not ready for a relationship" was really saying "There's someone else, or will be" so that list is skewed.


No shit. Thanks, Freud, we all missed that and were taking self reported sentiment at face value.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#66 May 31 2012 at 2:12 PM Rating: Good
I've been guilty of TMI for years... I still haven't figured out how to plug the stopper. >.>
#67 May 31 2012 at 2:23 PM Rating: Good
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PigtailsOfDoom wrote:
I've been guilty of TMI for years... I still haven't figured out how to plug the stopper. >.>


Cut off your hands and sew your lips together.
#68 May 31 2012 at 2:30 PM Rating: Good
That would be detrimental to two of my best talents. Smiley: sly
#69 May 31 2012 at 2:33 PM Rating: Excellent
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6,471 posts
PigtailsOfDoom wrote:
That would be detrimental to two of my best talents. Smiley: sly


No doubt we'd all miss your penchant for macrame craftwork and ability to whistle "Funky Town" in 8 octaves.


I'm assuming that's what you were referring to.
#70 May 31 2012 at 2:50 PM Rating: Good
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2,826 posts
PigtailsOfDoom wrote:
That would be detrimental to two of my best talents. Smiley: sly


Bump, set, spike. Pigtails gets the kill!
#71 May 31 2012 at 4:06 PM Rating: Good
Eske Esquire wrote:
PigtailsOfDoom wrote:
That would be detrimental to two of my best talents. Smiley: sly


No doubt we'd all miss your penchant for macrame craftwork and ability to whistle "Funky Town" in 8 octaves.


I'm assuming that's what you were referring to.


Something along those lines, yes.
#72 May 31 2012 at 5:03 PM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
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29,360 posts
Elinda wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
p-card is a captain on a starship. Everyone knows that.
Jean-Luc ***** - He has a phallic aura about him, does he not?


Y'know... put him in a tasteful stole and a beige push-up bra and he'd look very penile.


Edit: What IS it with me and verbs?


Edited, May 31st 2012 4:06pm by Samira
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In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

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