It's Not You, It's Me.Follow

I think your assumption is flawed. You suggest it may be about liking sex, but I think you ignore the biological imperative. Granted, many men overcome this and are faithful in any relationship they are currently in, but that is not because they are more evolved and don't suffer the urge. It is because they are better at sublimating their nature to a conscious desire.

1 I'm not ready for a relationship = ...thank you ma'am.
2 Bad hygiene = Never realized looking good takes effort, you broke that myth and they can't reconcile it.
3 I don't feel like I'm a priority = Why aren't you paying attention to me constantly? My mom made me the center of her universe.
4 Too much fighting = I'm mad and it's your fault.
5 Your sex drive is too low = Why don't you always want sex? Because I always want sex.
6 Lack of punctuality = Congrats, you successfully countered #2, only to get hit with this.
7 There's someone else = #5, with some lying and deceit mixed in.
8 Bad kisser = See #7
9 I don't see a future with you = Could be any of the above, I'm not very good at this 'breaking up' thing, and can't think of anything better to say, so yeah...
10 Too hairy = @#%^phile in hiding, run like the wind.

Edited, May 30th 2012 11:05am by someproteinguy

While completely bald is kind of creepy, I doubt many people want to go face to face with a wookiee either.

This is why I ended the relationship with my last girlfriend. Basically, I was living in the city, working in a pretty good job, and looking to start advancing my career/life. She, on the other hand, was still living at home, taking part-time classes at her local community college with no clear career plan in mind, and generally just hanging out and smoking pot.

There was just too much disparity between our medium- and long-term goals.

Edited, May 30th 2012 1:49pm by Demea

I'm trying to figure out the whole 'bad hygiene' issue. I always thought women were more hygienically correct. Is it simply the discovery that women have hairy buttholes too?

Nah, it's discovering that she didn't really clean it out before you blast her in the ***.

Even as a guy, I've never understood that about men, or why it's the case with some of them at least. I've just never had the urge to just sleep around I guess, and can't really grasp why others feel the need to. Maybe things will change someday or something. I suppose that I'm not one of the single men in the survey either...

Even as a guy, I've never understood that about men, or why it's the case with some of them at least. I've just never had the urge to just sleep around I guess, and can't really grasp why others feel the need to.

You're almost certainly lying.

I've kinda just assumed it's closer to what Pigtails said. Either those men who feel the need to sleep around are wired differently than me, or they just have ****-poor self control.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding something, but what does saying "It's not you, it's me" have to do with a fear of monogamy? Maybe that was the point of the episode, and you didn't mention it? Just didn't really see the tie-in.

I struggled to not use this line when I dumped my last girlfriend. Really it was her - I could point out several reasons I didn't see a long-term relationship working out, and none were a fear of monogamy; at most it was a fear that "she's not right for you." I'm a serial monogamist and have never had an issue being "exclusive" with a girl. But I'll also be the first to admit that many times I flirt and date girls who I wouldn't pick as life partners, only to (unsurprisingly) break up a few months later. Case-in-point, issues with the last girlfriend:

-Clash on religious beliefs.
-Clash on family (I always felt uncomfortable around her family)
-Clash on where we are in our lives... I was 4 years older and she was still in college. I wanted to move out of town; she was there for at least two more years
-Personality differences, especially emotions. I'm pretty easy going and open when talking about what's bothering me. She broods, looks internally, and gives the silent treatment for days on end. This would repeat almost every month, getting more and more frustrating each time.
- Physical attraction. Vain as it is, from when I met her to when we broke up she put on nearly 40 pounds and became by far the biggest girl I've dated. It's awkward to have a 21-year-old with blatant stretch marks. As her father is over 350 lbs, I didn't like the future I was seeing.

Anyway, fear of monogamy was never an issue - if anything, I thought she'd make a great wife. Just not for me. Most of my friends are similar - mid-20s and not looking for a fling, but a partner with whom they can spend their lives. Thus I've never really understood where this "fear of monogamy" stereotype comes from; none of my social group have ever displayed it.

Edit: Going by the list, by tops would be:

1. I don't see a future with you
2. Too much fighting
3. Lack of punctuality (one girl I was with would routinely and constantly double or triple book times, then call up and cancel. Frustrating as all hell. Guess this could be "I don't feel like I'm a priority)

Edited, May 30th 2012 3:31pm by LockeColeMA

My husband and I both have our lists of people we're allowed to cheat with. Since he tops his list with Halle Barry, I don't feel like I have a lot to worry about.

If you mean the apartmentmate last year who suffered a mental breakdown and got arrested twice (once for trespassing while hallucinating, and once for firing off a fire extinguisher in someone else's apartment), then yes? Not sure what you're referring to otherwise. Love my apartmentmates this year.

Edit: Oh, unless you're talking about my old roommates back in college several years ago. Not sure if I talked about them here. One was super religious and dating a girl who was practically a carbon copy of his mother; the other one is engaged and has had some issues, but generally they're ok.

Edited, May 30th 2012 3:39pm by LockeColeMA

Then why the argument? I never said I wasn't attracted to other women, only that I had no urge to sleep with them; totally different things.

Yeah, I suppose that's true. How foolish of me not to discriminate between sexual attraction and being attracted to women you want to join a quilting circle with, or who you'd really LOVE to change the sweet sweet oil of their Honda Accords. Oh yeah, that drive to slide under the dark space beneath the engine and just shove that wrench hard enough to loose that sweet sticky 10w40, I know what you're talking about man.

Really, I have no idea. You want to **** women you're "attracted" to. That's how that works, son. If you have trouble dealing with that because you think it's "wrong" or whatever the hang up is, that's not my problem.