Sir Xsarus wrote:
I think the whole "being a man" thing becomes more and more prevalent the tighter your social circle is, and the more you depend on your peers for advancement or prestige. This fits well with a prison or a gang. Basically manliness is just a measuring stick for how well you belong, it's the accepted metric. In looser social circles, belonging becomes less of a necessity and more of a choice and so how you define yourself rests more with you and less with others.
I'm not sure what would be a similar metric for women in the same scenario though.
I'm with Xsarus on this one. Since I've been out of school I've never felt much of a need to "prove I'm a man." Even in college I didn't feel the need; closest was maybe high school, but even then I was arguably one of the "manliest" in my social group without any violence. On the flip side, one of my best friends is 26 now and we actually had a big talk about this recently; namely that he doesn't feel like he's "a man" yet but he's not sure what needs to happen for him to get that feeling. He thinks his dad is a terrible example of manliness because he doesn't have much drive and always defers to his mom.
I told him I'm not sure how he can feel "like a man," but maybe moving out of his parents' house, getting a girlfriend, and securing a full-time job would be a good start
Yeah it's never been an issue for me. At some point I kinda realized "oh, I'm an adult now," but there was never a defining moment of "now I'm a MAN!" I think the closest realization was while reading a police report that a 19 year old "man" had done something and thinking to myself, "Sh*t, I'm years older than that kid. I guess I am a man now!"
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