I was playing cards with some people. Friends, I think, though they were much more skilled in the dream than they are in real life. We were playing a game that was something of a bastardized form of Chinese Poker that we used to play sometimes in high school. It's like regular ol' poker, but you deal out all the cards, so everyone can make multiple poker hands with what they're dealt.
I was dealt a royal flush, and it was going to allow me to win. I was super excited about it, and really played up how soundly I was about to beat everyone. Proudly laid my cards down: A♠, K♠ , Q♠ , J♠ , 10♠. "Royal flush", I say. "Suck it."
Then someone says, "That's not a royal flush, dude. One's a club." I look down, and much to my dismay, the cards read: A♠, K♠ , Q♣, J♠ , 10♠. I'm very confused. I pick up the cards, saying "Oh, my bad, I probably put the wrong card down. I've got the Queen of spades here somewhere." That turns out to be true. I find said Queen, replace the offending card, and lay the hand down again.
"Dude, that's still not a royal flush."
I look down again, and somehow now a different card is there. The hand now reads: A♣, K♠ , Q♠, J♠, 10♠. Now I'm real flustered, and everyone's cracking jokes and exchanging knowing glances.
"sh*t, okay, hang on." I pick up the cards and repeat the process. I put 'em down again, but I already know I've got it wrong. Now another club gets mistaken for a spade. It's clear I've got the royal flush, but I'm somehow incapable of assembling it. I keep getting it wrong, more and more comically.
As I'm struggling to figure out the error, the cards start to bleed together. Every card seems to have both clubs and spades on it, like someone tried to crudely change one into the other with a sharpie marker. They seem to be changing shapes, even as I look at them.
Just when I'm about to freak out, my alarm clock goes off and I'm up.
So, what's the explanation? Before you answer, know that "Repressed homosexuality" is so totally gauche.