Delva wrote:
I just scanned through this as it is time for bed but I had to reply. I do not require the rough stuff every day or even every week but it is a physical and emotional need for me. It is not a want, but a need. I am a ********* and I need to feel pain. It is just like people going out for a drink after a rough day at work or someone hitting the gym really hard when they are angry or upset about something. It is a release. A way for me to calm myself and release stress and frustrations that I have pent up. I am consenting and my partner is consenting so I really don't see it as abuse. Next time, do some research and maybe actually READ the thread before you start using terms like that.
I have no problem with people getting rough during sex. Like someone else said, what goes on between two consenting adults behind closed doors is their business, not mine. But I don't understand a "need" to feel pain, and it makes me wonder if you'd resort to cutting if there was no sexual partner to do the cutting for you.
I may not agree with Kelvy 100%, but I do see where he's coming from to a certain extent. Saying it is "a physical and emotional need" seems a little scary to me. Kelvy's point about someone saying, "I need my partner to beat the crap out of me every day to feel loved" struck a chord with me. It does sound a little like what you're saying, and that makes me nervous.
However, I know little about BDSM, so there is that.