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#52 Nov 30 2011 at 11:38 AM Rating: Excellent
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Co-Ed dorms FTW. Smiley: grin
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#53 Nov 30 2011 at 11:40 AM Rating: Excellent
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Sweetums wrote:
and coupled with the complete inability to get a rhythm

That's why music during love making is so important.

I recommend Queen's "We Will Rock You".
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#54 Nov 30 2011 at 11:57 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
Sweetums wrote:
and coupled with the complete inability to get a rhythm

That's why music during love making is so important.

I recommend Queen's "We Will Rock You".

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#55 Nov 30 2011 at 12:00 PM Rating: Excellent
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I tried Yackity Sax once and spent three months in the hospital.
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#56 Nov 30 2011 at 12:23 PM Rating: Excellent
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More **** needs to be done to the tune of Yackity Sax.
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#57 Nov 30 2011 at 1:00 PM Rating: Excellent
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Sweetums wrote:
That, and the absurdity of positioning in a Jetta. How the @#%^ do people do that?

Edited, Nov 30th 2011 11:10am by Sweetums


Since I'm so short, *** in a backseat of a car is actually rather easy to accomplish. Front seat, back seat, on the console, in the trunk, it's all doable.
#58 Nov 30 2011 at 3:17 PM Rating: Excellent
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My wife's and my height are much less relevant to vehicular nookie than the ****** off bus driver.
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#59 Nov 30 2011 at 4:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
My wife's and my height are much less relevant to vehicular nookie than the ****** off bus driver.


If you do it in the back seat of a taxi in Vegas, the driver will generally comp you the fare. I speak from experience.
#60 Dec 01 2011 at 1:13 AM Rating: Good
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So I'm the only one who has *** to the theme of Benny Hill?
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#61 Dec 01 2011 at 1:33 AM Rating: Excellent
*** is kinda like High School; Before you get there, you're scared of it. While you're there, it's the most important thing in the world. Afterwards, you're all like, "What was the big fucking deal?"

Stop putting the ***** on a pedestal, virgins.
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#62 Dec 01 2011 at 1:43 AM Rating: Excellent
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Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
My wife's and my height are much less relevant to vehicular nookie than the ****** off bus driver.


If you do it in the back seat of a taxi in Vegas, the driver will generally comp you the fare. I speak from experience.
Nowadays, you'll also wind up on internet voyeur cam sites that said taxi drivers run(or at least submit content to).
#63 Dec 01 2011 at 8:37 AM Rating: Excellent
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Exodus wrote:
So I'm the only one who has *** to the theme of Benny Hill?

...

...


Smiley: dubious
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#64 Dec 01 2011 at 9:11 AM Rating: Good
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Well, it's not that he wants to. It's just that it starts playing every time he does.
#65 Dec 01 2011 at 9:51 AM Rating: Excellent
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Omegavegeta wrote:
*** is kinda like High School; Before you get there, you're scared of it. While you're there, it's the most important thing in the world. Afterwards, you're all like, "What was the big fucking deal?"

Stop putting the @#%^ on a pedestal, virgins.
Yeah, the most baffling thing was "what the fuck, I don't really feel any different. I don't even feel like I should put on my big girl pants." Living in the South, I was treated to abstinence-only education (thankfully my nerdity helped me avoid being ignorant of contraception), complete with the story of how the cheerleader died of AIDS at the end of the school year after she'd lost her virginity, even though she used a condom.

At the assembly (the group presenting it was explicitly Christian, by the way) I wanted to ask how contraception and premarital *** were bad for women, since contraceptives apparently encourage it, while people were simultaneously ******** about how women outnumber men on college campuses; why exactly I'd want to marry a guy who'd reject me just because I've had *** (kind of turns the whole "men who wait value your personality more than ***" thing on its head); ask about the statistics regarding cohabiting couples who actually plan ahead, rather than those who are compelled by mere inertia to marry (statistics show that if you move in with plans for marriage, rather than just getting married because you're too lazy to move your sofa and it feels like "the next step", the divorce rates are practically equal); and most importantly, why I'd want to forego practice for my wedding night. You obsessive fuckers have practice dinners. I wanna practice the important things.

Edited, Dec 1st 2011 9:52am by Sweetums
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#66 Dec 01 2011 at 5:32 PM Rating: Excellent
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someproteinguy wrote:
Co-Ed dorms FTW. Smiley: grin


Omegavegeta wrote:
*** is kinda like High School; Before you get there, you're scared of it. While you're there, it's the most important thing in the world. Afterwards, you're all like, "What was the big fucking deal?"

Stop putting the @#%^ on a pedestal, virgins.


I remember when I was like 12 I asked my 17 year old brother what *** felt like and he said "*** is *** little bro, it's great but its not all that amazing."

I had no idea what the **** he meant at the time, but your quote pretty much sums it up.
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#67 Dec 02 2011 at 3:02 AM Rating: Good
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Exodus wrote:
So I'm the only one who has *** to the theme of Benny Hill?

I don't think they call it *** if you're the only one. Smiley: frown


I lost my virginity at a young age (ah, I still recall the overpowering stench of whiskey on that ****** ****'s breath...mmmm nostalgia) and and over the years have been increasingly glad for it. For you V-card holders I would strongly suggest some serious research into the Pr0nographical Arts before you do the dirty unless you like being a disappointment to others. I never had such a luxury was forced to tinker around until I figured out how the parts worked. Like how you should slap around the general area "down-there" to stimulate her or apply ***** as an under-eye (or inner-eye if she's kinky) cream; silly me tried being ginger and keeping my bodily fluids to myself.

*** is an important part of any relationship, both physically and emotionally. Holding out is half-assing the effort while missing out on valuable life experience. I can't ever recall meeting a delightful prude.
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#68 Dec 02 2011 at 7:33 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jacobsdeception wrote:
For you V-card holders I would strongly suggest some serious research into the Pr0nographical Arts before you do the dirty unless you like being a disappointment to others.
Oh god no, that would be close to the worst *** ever
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Iamadam the Prophet wrote:

You know that feeling you get when you have a little bit of hope, only to have it ripped away? Sweetums feeds on that.
#69 Dec 02 2011 at 7:39 AM Rating: Excellent
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Without ****, I wouldn't have known that losing my virginity required an extra dude so we could DP her like all women want.
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#70 Dec 02 2011 at 7:57 AM Rating: Excellent
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Chicks dig the Eiffel Tower.
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#71 Dec 02 2011 at 8:06 AM Rating: Excellent
Chicks also dig it when you finish off in their hair and eyes.
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#72 Dec 02 2011 at 8:49 AM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
Chicks dig the Eiffel Tower.

Some do Smiley: tongue But probably not for the first time.
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#73 Dec 02 2011 at 8:58 AM Rating: Excellent
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LockeColeMA wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
Chicks dig the Eiffel Tower.

Some do Smiley: tongue But probably not for the first time.


There was a sorority that was infamous for having a couple members that did it back in undergrad at Lehigh. Smiley: lol
#74 Dec 02 2011 at 9:07 AM Rating: Excellent
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Eske Esquire wrote:
LockeColeMA wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
Chicks dig the Eiffel Tower.

Some do Smiley: tongue But probably not for the first time.


There was a sorority that was infamous for having a couple members that did it back in undergrad at Lehigh. Smiley: lol

I've had girls tell me they love it, that it's always been a personal fetish for them.

People have very strange fantasies and desires, now that I think of it. I had one ex tell me that she always wanted someone to take advantage of her while she was sleeping. I don't even want to begin thinking of what her psychological issues were (she was relatively normal while we were dating).
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#75 Dec 02 2011 at 9:19 AM Rating: Excellent
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LockeColeMA wrote:
Eske Esquire wrote:
LockeColeMA wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
Chicks dig the Eiffel Tower.

Some do Smiley: tongue But probably not for the first time.


There was a sorority that was infamous for having a couple members that did it back in undergrad at Lehigh. Smiley: lol

I've had girls tell me they love it, that it's always been a personal fetish for them.

People have very strange fantasies and desires, now that I think of it. I had one ex tell me that she always wanted someone to take advantage of her while she was sleeping. I don't even want to begin thinking of what her psychological issues were (she was relatively normal while we were dating).


Makes me think about the Louis CK bit about the girl who wanted him to rape her. Smiley: lol

Edited, Dec 2nd 2011 10:19am by Eske
#76 Dec 02 2011 at 9:36 AM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
Chicks dig the Eiffel Tower.
I really dig taking it up the ***, and then taking it in the *****. After some really hot ***, I can have a really hot **** from my hot UTI.
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Iamadam the Prophet wrote:

You know that feeling you get when you have a little bit of hope, only to have it ripped away? Sweetums feeds on that.
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