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Waiting until marriageFollow

#27 Nov 30 2011 at 1:57 AM Rating: Excellent
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I ain't a waiter because I figure that it's a decent litmus test: anyone who thinks that I'm less valuable if I "give it up" "too early" has a nasty, transactional view of sex and we'd never be compatible.

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Isn't this something a couple should discuss before they married anyway?
This isn't "pile on you because you're a virgin" hour, but you can't really gauge sexual compatibility without some sort of sexual contact.

No matter how much I talk about pizza, I'm not going to really find my favorite flavor unless I actually eat a goddamn pizza.

Edited, Nov 30th 2011 1:59am by Sweetums
#28 Nov 30 2011 at 2:16 AM Rating: Excellent
I must be tired. I was trying to figure out why Sweetums wasn't a waitress and what that had to do with having sex before marriage.

My first time, I was 20 and had been with the same guy, who was also a virgin, for two years. He was a virgin, as well. I didn't wait because I am religious at all. I waited because I wanted to feel like I was ready. Or at least I wanted to want it. My first time, I can't say I felt "ready" exactly, I was pretty scared it was going to hurt. And it did, a little. We were a bit fastidious about it. We were up in the bonus room of my parents house after everyone had gone to bed, and I made sure we had a towel to lay down underneath me in case I bled. I didn't want to have to explain that to anyone, and I figured I could rinse the towel out and have it dry by morning. It wasn't terribly romantic, there were no fireworks. We both were virgins, and we knew it would be awkward and potentially uncomfortable for me. We just wanted to get the first time over with so we could start enjoying it.

And we did. A lot.

I always felt that picking your first sexual partner was a big deal. I wanted it to be with someone I loved, someone I could really experience different things with, and most importantly, someone I trusted.
#29 Nov 30 2011 at 2:29 AM Rating: Excellent
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My first time was pure lolz.
#30 Nov 30 2011 at 2:40 AM Rating: Good
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I lost my virginity before I entered High School so my opinion is suspect at best. I feel, in retrospect, that I should have waited. On the other hand (inurendo) I think early experience made for better judgement calls later.

YMMV
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#31 Nov 30 2011 at 3:00 AM Rating: Excellent
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Sweetums wrote:
My first time was pure lolz.
Depending on how Bill Clinton you want to get on the definitions, my first time was during an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger.
#32 Nov 30 2011 at 3:02 AM Rating: Excellent
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The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
Depending on how Bill Clinton you want to get on the definitions, my first time was during an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger.

I hope Chuck Norris was gentle?

That censorship is b.s. This is America, not Communistan.

Edited, Nov 30th 2011 3:04am by Allegory
#33 Nov 30 2011 at 3:08 AM Rating: Good
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Allegory wrote:
The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
Depending on how Bill Clinton you want to get on the definitions, my first time was during an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger.

I hope Chuck Norris was gentle?

That censorship is b.s. This is America, not Communistan.
As I recall, I don't recall what he was doing while the girl was doing what she was doing.

Edit: My guess is roundhouse kicking people. He does that on that show, right?


Edited, Nov 30th 2011 2:10am by Poldaran
#34 Nov 30 2011 at 5:39 AM Rating: Excellent
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Sweetums wrote:
My first time was pure lolz.

This. Oh God, this.

And by lolz, I mean lots of tears. Ugh, that was terrible. The situation was lolz-worthy though; attempting to be romantic, we went to a beach and into the dunes. Sexy, right? I even brought a sheet from home, laid it out... and realized it was a fitted sheet. It kept rolling back up from under us. Smiley: laugh

Still, glad I got the awkwardness over at 17. I didn't actually get "good" at sex until I was around 20, when I dated a girl with similar sexual tastes to mine and who was actually interested in sex (as opposed to just thinking "this will strengthen the relationship!").

I agree with sexual compatibility being a key factor.
#35 Nov 30 2011 at 6:18 AM Rating: Excellent
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Quote:
Isn't this something a couple should discuss before they married anyway?


What Sweetums said, and I'll add a little to it.

You should certainly talk about it, of course. And if you're waiting until marriage for religious reasons, then that's all the more reason to talk about it, since there's less of an easy out if you're really not cut out for each other sexually.

Everyone has some sexual kinks. Usually they're pretty mild, I guess, in the grand scheme. Often an active fantasy life is enough to fulfill requirements.

Sometimes that's not true. Some people, actually a lot of people, need more... specialized stimulation to get off. And here's the fun part: you don't necessarily know what your kinks are until you get in there and try stuff.

So my off the cuffs advice is, tie a few knots before you tie the knot. 'S all I'm sayin'.
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#36 Nov 30 2011 at 6:37 AM Rating: Excellent
Almalieque wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
In before Alma joke.



I like how people admit to being virgins and support relationships starting out with little to no sex and yet you think it's appropriate to ridicule me for an assumption that is upheld by your very own peers... Smiley: lol
To be fair, we'd ridicule you for pretty much anything at this point.
#37 Nov 30 2011 at 7:03 AM Rating: Excellent
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Samira wrote:
So my off the cuffs advice is, tie a few knots before you tie the knot. 'S all I'm sayin'.
Knot bad advice at all, IMO.
#38 Nov 30 2011 at 7:19 AM Rating: Excellent
You have a lot of nerve calling me Kao 2, poldy.
#39 Nov 30 2011 at 7:30 AM Rating: Excellent
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Duke Lubriderm wrote:
You have a lot of nerve calling me Kao 2, poldy.
Don't get twisted up about it.

Besides, my pun was simply grasping at low hanging fruit compared to "pretty fry for a blind guy".
#40 Nov 30 2011 at 7:37 AM Rating: Excellent
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LockeColeMA wrote:
And by lolz, I mean lots of tears.

Did she comfort you afterward?

I pray that you meant "tears" rhymes with "fears" and not "tears" rhymes with "bears"
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#41 Nov 30 2011 at 7:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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My sex life is over for the most part so I'm really happy I did't wait. I wouldn't get married now seeing how I couldn't fill that part of a relationship.
#42 Nov 30 2011 at 7:52 AM Rating: Good
The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
Duke Lubriderm wrote:
You have a lot of nerve calling me Kao 2, poldy.
Don't get twisted up about it.

Besides, my pun was simply grasping at low hanging fruit compared to "pretty fry for a blind guy".

Forgive me for being grapeful at my foxy ability to find a pun.
#43 Nov 30 2011 at 8:10 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
LockeColeMA wrote:
And by lolz, I mean lots of tears.

Did she comfort you afterward?

I pray that you meant "tears" rhymes with "fears" and not "tears" rhymes with "bears"

I thought the same thing when writing and went "Nah, no one would comment on that..." Smiley: nod

I sometimes wish for a time machine so I could go back to my teenage self, smack him upside the head, and say "You are so dumb, you are really dumb. Fo' real."
#44 Nov 30 2011 at 8:13 AM Rating: Excellent
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"Tears for Bears" is going to be the name of my "Tears for Fears" tribute band.

As for the couple in the OP (yours, not the TV people), do they do anything? Some heavy petting or a handjob? Or are they virtuous little Vestals?
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#45 Nov 30 2011 at 8:18 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
"Tears for Bears" is going to be the name of my "Tears for Fears" tribute band.
The album cover could be a bunch of burly men in leather looking down on a tiny crying dude.
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#46 Nov 30 2011 at 8:19 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
"Tears for Bears" is going to be the name of my "Tears for Fears" tribute band.

As for the couple in the OP (yours, not the TV people), do they do anything? Some heavy petting or a handjob? Or are they virtuous little Vestals?

Apparently they got up to handjob territory at the beginning of this year, but now have backed off down to just the occasional make-out session. She refused to take off any of her clothing, or allow any touching "below her belt," and the decision to back down was (apparently) mutual; both felt really guilty about it after, and decided it introduced too much lust to their relationship. So... yeah.
#47 Nov 30 2011 at 9:25 AM Rating: Excellent
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Almalieque wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
In before Alma joke.



I like how people admit to being virgins and support relationships starting out with little to no sex and yet you think it's appropriate to ridicule me for an assumption that is upheld by your very own peers... Smiley: lol
sorry, I jumped the gun when I compared you to the situation in the OP.

They wait by choice.
#48 Nov 30 2011 at 11:08 AM Rating: Excellent
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We really ought to turn this into a thread of where we tell our "how we lost our virginity" stories.
#49 Nov 30 2011 at 11:10 AM Rating: Excellent
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LockeColeMA wrote:
Sweetums wrote:
My first time was pure lolz.

This. Oh God, this.

And by lolz, I mean lots of tears. Ugh, that was terrible. The situation was lolz-worthy though; attempting to be romantic, we went to a beach and into the dunes. Sexy, right? I even brought a sheet from home, laid it out... and realized it was a fitted sheet. It kept rolling back up from under us. Smiley: laugh
I actually couldn't stop laughing the whole time. I was naïve enough that "hurf durf, ************ was a legitimate punchline, and coupled with the complete inability to get a rhythm (this is part of why I wouldn't wait until marriage, oh god you guys are gonna be so disappointed on your wedding night), it was just so ludicrous that laughing was a foregone conclusion.

That, and the absurdity of positioning in a Jetta. How the @#%^ do people do that?

Edited, Nov 30th 2011 11:10am by Sweetums
#50 Nov 30 2011 at 11:23 AM Rating: Excellent
There is a position called the Yugo that would probably also work in a Jetta.
#51 Nov 30 2011 at 11:28 AM Rating: Excellent
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The old pick-up trucks with the bench seats were quite amenable to first sex.
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