CHOOSE!
| I save Fred Phelps: |    | 11 (19.3%) |
| I save a Phelps-weight of gold: | | 46 (80.7%) |
| Total: | 57 |
Edited, Sep 21st 2011 9:29am by Jophiel
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Yet another poll!Follow
You're in a lifeboat next to a sinking craft that contains one Fred Phelps and one Phelps-weight of gold. Your boat can hold one or the other. Whichever you don't take with will be lost forever to the briny deep and your decision will be known to none but yourself. Pollster's Fiat dictates that you'll be able to keep/sell the gold for market value without consequence and that you have ample supplies for two people but no way to avoid the weight restriction.
Edited, Sep 21st 2011 9:29am by Jophiel
Edited, Sep 21st 2011 9:29am by Jophiel
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
I'd drop Phelps into the sea even without the gold option.
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
lolgaxe wrote:
I'd drop Phelps into the sea even without the gold option.
Morality polls, geez.
I picked the Pastor. But, I'm fickle.
I picked the Pastor. But, I'm fickle.
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
Hey, polls no longer show the little statistics bars. Also, the "poll" button didn't work when I made this post and I had to type it all manually.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
I save him, because I don't really give a **** about the crap he does.
Donate. One day it could be your family.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
F'uck him, I'd take the gold. He's ok with the Jebusaurus, apparently, so he shouldn't mind a little death in his diet.
Can I tie Phelps behind the boat to fish for sharks to eat?
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
I save him, because I don't really give a sh*t about the crap he does.
He's still worth a Phelps-weight of gold!
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Jophiel wrote:
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
I save him, because I don't really give a sh*t about the crap he does.
He's still worth a Phelps-weight of gold!
Yeah, but he's a skinny old man. That's, what, only about a hundred pounds? One-twenty at most?
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Jophiel wrote:
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
I save him, because I don't really give a sh*t about the crap he does.
He's still worth a Phelps-weight of gold!
Donate. One day it could be your family.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
I'd save Phelps, so when we end up on a deserted island and slowly starve to death, his last memories would be of me hitting on him or singing Spice Girls/Hanson/Village People.
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
I save him, because I don't really give a sh*t about the crap he does.
He's still worth a Phelps-weight of gold!
I still think you'd be better off taking the gold, even if the goal is to maximize decency. Think of it this way, you could give these guys the gold.
Just as Planned.
How about I take the gold and pray for God to save him.
That's win/win right?
That's win/win right?
That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
I'd probably think about it for about 3.658 seconds, then take the gold and sleep like a baby.
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
Why would I save someone who spreads hate about me and my love? Let god save him.
Let's say he weighs one hundred twenty pounds like someone up there suggested. At today's prices (jumping around between 1,750 an 1,850 and ounce, we'll call it 1,800) that's 3,456,000 dollars. Personally, I'd drown someone a lot less obnoxious than Fred Phelps for that kind of scratch.
Edited, Sep 21st 2011 10:17pm by Turin
Edited, Sep 21st 2011 10:17pm by Turin
Gold it is.
I'd make a sizable donation to some sort of Veterans Memorial Fund with (some of) the money, in his name, to boot.
I'd make a sizable donation to some sort of Veterans Memorial Fund with (some of) the money, in his name, to boot.
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
I'm comfortable financially, and the future is bright, so I can easily let decency trump profit.
I'm not sure it's the decent thing to do. It's an easy write-off to say the right thing to do is save him even if it might be difficult or some might judge him to be a bad--whatever context they want to use that word in--person, but I don't think that's an accurate representation of the situation however common of one it may be.
Joph, do I have free access to a supply of super intelligent actuaries? It kinda makes a difference.
I'd save Phelps, dammit. Pisses me off, but I'd do it. No one would know, but I would, and I'd feel terrible for the rest of my life. I couldn't live with it.
Should be a donation toward a group seeking same-sex marriage rights, really. Phelps doesn't have a problem with servicemen so much as he's explaining that gay people are why our servicemen have to die.
catwho wrote:
I'd make a sizable donation to some sort of Veterans Memorial Fund with (some of) the money, in his name, to boot.
Should be a donation toward a group seeking same-sex marriage rights, really. Phelps doesn't have a problem with servicemen so much as he's explaining that gay people are why our servicemen have to die.
It's more that his favorite place to protest teh gays was at funerals of servicemen. So making a donation in his name with the gold I rescued would make a small gesture to those who were affected by his atrocities.
Turin wrote:
Let's say he weighs one hundred twenty pounds like someone up there suggested. At today's prices (jumping around between 1,750 an 1,850 and ounce, we'll call it 1,800) that's 3,456,000 dollars. Personally, I'd drown someone a lot less obnoxious than Fred Phelps for that kind of scratch.
Assuming I thought I could get away with it.
Quote:
Let's say he weighs one hundred twenty pounds like someone up there suggested. At today's prices (jumping around between 1,750 an 1,850 and ounce, we'll call it 1,800) that's 3,456,000 dollars. Personally, I'd drown someone a lot less obnoxious than Fred Phelps for that kind of scratch.
Actually, the poll doesn't say we can't talk to Phelps before we dump him overboard.
If I extract a promise from him to dissolve Westboro, recant his speakings against homosexuality, and instead devote himself toward working on social justice, I might be inclined to toss the gold instead.
If he says no, I tell him I'm actually a gay cannibal sent her from Hell to eat his soul so he can't go to Heaven, and hopefully he jumps overboard of his own volition.
Edited, Sep 22nd 2011 12:08pm by catwho
If I extract a promise from him to dissolve Westboro, recant his speakings against homosexuality, and instead devote himself toward working on social justice, I might be inclined to toss the gold instead.
If he says no, I tell him I'm actually a gay cannibal sent her from Hell to eat his soul so he can't go to Heaven, and hopefully he jumps overboard of his own volition.
Edited, Sep 22nd 2011 12:08pm by catwho
I'd tie the Phelps weight of gold to him and let them both sink.
Actually I'd give him a float just big enough to keep his head above water, cut the bottom of his foot and tell him if god saves him I'll give him the gold when he gets back to civilization. Otherwise I'll use the cash from the gold to protest his funeral, trucking in gays and the families of servicemen whose funerals he picketed.
Also there would be punch and pie.
Actually I'd give him a float just big enough to keep his head above water, cut the bottom of his foot and tell him if god saves him I'll give him the gold when he gets back to civilization. Otherwise I'll use the cash from the gold to protest his funeral, trucking in gays and the families of servicemen whose funerals he picketed.
Also there would be punch and pie.
Now the follow-up.
What did you expect to learn, and what did you learn from this thought experiment Joph?
What did you expect to learn, and what did you learn from this thought experiment Joph?
Just as Planned.
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