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#802 May 09 2011 at 1:01 PM Rating: Good
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Alma, your frustrated impotence is showing again.
#803 May 09 2011 at 1:06 PM Rating: Excellent
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Almalieque wrote:
I apologize up front if I offend anyone, but it disgusts me when really old men get in serious relationships with really young women, especially if their daughter is OLDER than the girl.

I recently found out that one of the former female cadets I went to school with married our Master Sergeant shortly after he retired. He is at least twice her age. The guy is "hard" on the outside but is definitely a "nice guy", so it wasn't as disturbing. There were jokes about him having a crush on her, I guess they were true after all.

Most of the other stories "appear" to be old horny guys praying on young and insecure women. I know that isn't always the case, but it often comes off that way.


For the record, and I know you weren't talking about my story specifically, but when this happened, the teacher was only 23 or so, and the student 17. That's not too bad.

I think your comment about it disgusting you with the old guy/younger woman thing is a common sentiment, but I also think a lot of it has to do with how society views it. I, personally, wouldn't be interested in a relationship like that. Having lived through losing a boyfriend once, I can't imagine marrying a guy knowing that, assuming we both die "of old age," he's going to be dying years before me and I'll have to deal with that loss all over again. That, and I've never met a man that old that had similar interests as I do... so there's that, too.

I was telling my husband the other day how a lot of times, it seems like unless a woman gets in a relationship with a man her own age, she's viewed negatively. Younger women who marry much older men are seen as gold diggers. Older women who get involved with much younger men are seen as cougars, and I don't believe that term is used in a positive way the majority of the time. But we don't have these little terms for men who seek a partner outside of their age group.

I guess we do have the "sugar daddies" and "sugar mamas."
#804 May 09 2011 at 1:12 PM Rating: Default
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Guenny wrote:
Alma, your frustrated impotence is showing again.


What "frustration"? I wasn't the one crying "Oh eff off!" after declaring an explanation while shortly being proven wrong. I know you want to try to stick up for her, but it's a lost cause. You can not logically argue against defining the terms "fact" and "Theory" in a debate about facts and theories.
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#805 May 09 2011 at 1:13 PM Rating: Good
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Almalieque wrote:
Guenny wrote:
Alma, your frustrated impotence is showing again.


What "frustration"? I wasn't the one crying "Oh eff off!" after declaring an explanation while shortly being proven wrong. I know you want to try to stick up for her, but it's a lost cause. You can not logically argue against defining the terms "fact" and "Theory" in a debate about facts and theories.


lolwut

I was just making fun of you QQing over older men getting the affections of younger woman, an obvious pipe dream you will never achieve.
#806 May 09 2011 at 1:20 PM Rating: Excellent
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Belkira wrote:
But we don't have these little terms for men who seek a partner outside of their age group.

Hrm? People regularly refer to older men as "dirty old men" or "cradle robbers" or good ole fashioned "perverts" for coveting younger women. Sure, movie stars and the like get away with it but if you're a 55 year old dude at a bar who hits on the 25 year olds, it's not viewed as generously.
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#807 May 09 2011 at 1:27 PM Rating: Default
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Belkira wrote:
Almalieque wrote:
I apologize up front if I offend anyone, but it disgusts me when really old men get in serious relationships with really young women, especially if their daughter is OLDER than the girl.

I recently found out that one of the former female cadets I went to school with married our Master Sergeant shortly after he retired. He is at least twice her age. The guy is "hard" on the outside but is definitely a "nice guy", so it wasn't as disturbing. There were jokes about him having a crush on her, I guess they were true after all.

Most of the other stories "appear" to be old horny guys praying on young and insecure women. I know that isn't always the case, but it often comes off that way.


For the record, and I know you weren't talking about my story specifically, but when this happened, the teacher was only 23 or so, and the student 17. That's not too bad.

I think your comment about it disgusting you with the old guy/younger woman thing is a common sentiment, but I also think a lot of it has to do with how society views it. I, personally, wouldn't be interested in a relationship like that. Having lived through losing a boyfriend once, I can't imagine marrying a guy knowing that, assuming we both die "of old age," he's going to be dying years before me and I'll have to deal with that loss all over again. That, and I've never met a man that old that had similar interests as I do... so there's that, too.

I was telling my husband the other day how a lot of times, it seems like unless a woman gets in a relationship with a man her own age, she's viewed negatively. Younger women who marry much older men are seen as gold diggers. Older women who get involved with much younger men are seen as cougars, and I don't believe that term is used in a positive way the majority of the time. But we don't have these little terms for men who seek a partner outside of their age group.

I guess we do have the "sugar daddies" and "sugar mamas."


Death is the biggest thing for me. I wouldn't want someone to die decades before me unless it's around 80. As for the names for old men, I always thought they were called "dirty old men".
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Almalieque wrote:

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#808 May 09 2011 at 1:33 PM Rating: Default
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Guenny wrote:
Almalieque wrote:
Guenny wrote:
Alma, your frustrated impotence is showing again.


What "frustration"? I wasn't the one crying "Oh eff off!" after declaring an explanation while shortly being proven wrong. I know you want to try to stick up for her, but it's a lost cause. You can not logically argue against defining the terms "fact" and "Theory" in a debate about facts and theories.


lolwut

I was just making fun of you QQing over older men getting the affections of younger woman, an obvious pipe dream you will never achieve.


Oh, my bad. Don't worry. As I get older, my age preference in women increases.
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Almalieque wrote:

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#809 May 09 2011 at 1:36 PM Rating: Excellent
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She's a consenting adult; who fucking cares?
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#810 May 09 2011 at 1:37 PM Rating: Good
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Jealous old men and femnazis.
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#811 May 09 2011 at 2:02 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Hrm? People regularly refer to older men as "dirty old men" or "cradle robbers" or good ole fashioned "perverts" for coveting younger women. Sure, movie stars and the like get away with it but if you're a 55 year old dude at a bar who hits on the 25 year olds, it's not viewed as generously.


Oh, uh. I mean, those are considered good things, though... right? Yeah, I got nothin'. I'm wrong.

Almalieque wrote:
Death is the biggest thing for me. I wouldn't want someone to die decades before me unless it's around 80. As for the names for old men, I always thought they were called "dirty old men".


Yeah, my bad. Guess I was channeling Anna...
#812 May 09 2011 at 2:22 PM Rating: Excellent
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ITT: Belk wants to be a dirty old man without the dirty part.
#813 May 09 2011 at 2:24 PM Rating: Good
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By the way, I've never heard cougar in a negative reference.
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#814 May 09 2011 at 2:27 PM Rating: Good
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Nadenu wrote:
ITT: Belk wants to be a dirty old man without the dirty part.


Nah, I don't want the hose. Though I'd gladly give up the bleeding part...

Uglysasquatch wrote:
By the way, I've never heard cougar in a negative reference.


Personally, I don't really see how it's a positive thing at all, really. But that's just the feminist in me.

Edited, May 9th 2011 3:33pm by Belkira
#815 May 09 2011 at 2:31 PM Rating: Default
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I see it more neutral than anything.
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Demea wrote:
Almalieque wrote:

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#816 May 09 2011 at 2:33 PM Rating: Good
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Almalieque wrote:
I see it more neutral than anything.


It just seems sort of demeaning to me. But in the grand scheme of things, it's not something I get too upset about.
#817 May 09 2011 at 2:34 PM Rating: Excellent
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Uglysasquatch wrote:
By the way, I've never heard cougar in a negative reference.

Really? I have, usually as an implication of promiscuity (and not in the "Woohoo, now I can get laid" sort of way) and the idea of some leathery old chain-smoking broad dressed like a 25 year old New Jersey hooker and trying to pick up some young piece of meat.

Neutrally, you used to have MILF as a passive term for "Hot older woman" back when it was actually understood to mean the mother of a sexually mature young man and not a generic term slapped on every 22 year old with an infant.

Edited, May 9th 2011 3:36pm by Jophiel
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#818 May 09 2011 at 2:37 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
some leathery old chain-smoking broad dressed like a 25 year old New Jersey hooker and trying to pick up some young piece of meat.
That's a dirty old *****. Cougar around here is another MILF.
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#819 May 09 2011 at 2:39 PM Rating: Excellent
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Yeah, well, you also sell milk in bags. Things are crazy up there.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#820 May 09 2011 at 2:57 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Yeah, well, you also sell milk in bags. Things are crazy up there.


Honestly, sometimes I think the best part of being American is being able to offhandedly dismiss anything that any foreigner says with a non sequitur.

Edited, May 9th 2011 4:57pm by Eske
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#821 May 09 2011 at 3:01 PM Rating: Excellent
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Makes living in this socialist **** almost seem worth it.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#822 May 09 2011 at 3:37 PM Rating: Default
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Uglysasquatch wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
some leathery old chain-smoking broad dressed like a 25 year old New Jersey hooker and trying to pick up some young piece of meat.
That's a dirty old *****. Cougar around here is another MILF.


This...

****** and whores aren't included as cougars. I always interpreted cougars as being attractive older women who don't necessarily look their age.
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Demea wrote:
Almalieque wrote:

I'm biased against statistics
#823 May 09 2011 at 6:44 PM Rating: Decent
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My SO is eight years younger than me, but also very mature and accomplished for her age. What is that formula for creepiness? I think it's (your age)/2+7= how young you can date before it's creepy.
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#824 May 09 2011 at 7:05 PM Rating: Good
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I have heard the age/2 +7 formula before. I think it is pretty decent because it at least takes into account the fact that as you get older, the difference in maturity level between people of different ages tends to become compressed in the later years.

While a 60 year old dating a 37 year old seems a little odd for me, in my late 20s, to contemplate, chances are if a 37 year old dates a 60 year old, they are old enough to know whether that is the right fit for them.

Edited, May 9th 2011 6:05pm by Olorinus
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#825 May 09 2011 at 7:07 PM Rating: Default
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Kachi wrote:
My SO is eight years younger than me, but also very mature and accomplished for her age. What is that formula for creepiness? I think it's (your age)/2+7= how young you can date before it's creepy.


I heard that also. Age means less and less as you get older. 37 and 45 don't sound as bad as 21 and 29.
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#826 May 09 2011 at 7:08 PM Rating: Excellent
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I always looked at the age/2+7 as a joke. People take that serious?
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#827 May 09 2011 at 7:14 PM Rating: Good
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Well it doesn't affect me personally, but it actually seems pretty reasonable other than at the exteme ends (under 20 and over 70). I mean if consenting adults want to date each other, what business is it of mine. I am not interested in age policing after people reach the age of majority.

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#828 May 09 2011 at 7:17 PM Rating: Default
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Uglysasquatch wrote:
I always looked at the age/2+7 as a joke. People take that serious?


I doubt people take that seriously because it's MATH and I'm sure it'll give some people a hard time. Anyways, the most common one I hear is no more than a 10 year difference.
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#829 May 09 2011 at 7:18 PM Rating: Good
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Under 20 it works fine, for the most part. Where it gets off is at the high end. a 20yr old can date 17yr. 14yr can date 14yr. But a 70yr can date 42yr? Gross.
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#830 May 09 2011 at 7:25 PM Rating: Good
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I thought it was gross when my brother, who is four years older than me, started dating a girl a year and a half younger than me. But that's mostly because I found her a bit immature, and he's my brother. Anyone else, I probably wouldn't have batted an eye.
#831 May 09 2011 at 7:30 PM Rating: Default
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Belkira wrote:
I thought it was gross when my brother, who is four years older than me, started dating a girl a year and a half younger than me. But that's mostly because I found her a bit immature, and he's my brother. Anyone else, I probably wouldn't have batted an eye.


I can understand that. It's just weird. It would always irritate me when a girl says "aww, you remind me of my little brother". Yet, when when the tables were turned, I would mentally be reminded of my younger brother and "temporarily" feel slightly awkward.
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Almalieque wrote:

I'm biased against statistics
#832 May 09 2011 at 7:36 PM Rating: Good
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Almalieque wrote:
Belkira wrote:
I thought it was gross when my brother, who is four years older than me, started dating a girl a year and a half younger than me. But that's mostly because I found her a bit immature, and he's my brother. Anyone else, I probably wouldn't have batted an eye.


I can understand that. It's just weird. It would always irritate me when a girl says "aww, you remind me of my little brother". Yet, when when the tables were turned, I would mentally be reminded of my younger brother and "temporarily" feel slightly awkward.


Yeeaaah. Any "you remind me of my sibling" comments would sort of sour the deal in a lot of ways for me. lol

But then, maybe that's the point of comments like that.... Hmm.
#833 May 09 2011 at 8:01 PM Rating: Default
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Belkira wrote:
Almalieque wrote:
Belkira wrote:
I thought it was gross when my brother, who is four years older than me, started dating a girl a year and a half younger than me. But that's mostly because I found her a bit immature, and he's my brother. Anyone else, I probably wouldn't have batted an eye.


I can understand that. It's just weird. It would always irritate me when a girl says "aww, you remind me of my little brother". Yet, when when the tables were turned, I would mentally be reminded of my younger brother and "temporarily" feel slightly awkward.


Yeeaaah. Any "you remind me of my sibling" comments would sort of sour the deal in a lot of ways for me. lol

But then, maybe that's the point of comments like that.... Hmm.


In my cases they were, that has been the number one rejection for me. To me, it doesn't make sense how a female will date a guy nearly twice her age but not date a guy a few years younger than her. Women just tend to want older guys. That's why the mid 30's are awesome, because you have such a larger age range. Since I'm not that old yet, I'm not sure, but it seems that the older women get, the more acceptable they are to younger guys.

The fact that I apparently look so much younger than what I really am, doesn't help now. Darn the military facial hair regulations! I was just in the club the other night where a female paused the conversation immediately to ask how old I was. I can tell by her expression that she was determining if I was too young. Fortunately it was only by one year. She still joked about me being so young... ><
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Demea wrote:
Almalieque wrote:

I'm biased against statistics
#834 May 09 2011 at 10:12 PM Rating: Good
The whole "guys age/2 +7" thing is the optimum formula for the longest lasting relationship; specifically, marriages.

I'd cite that, but I'm extraordinarily lazy today.
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#835 May 09 2011 at 10:19 PM Rating: Good
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'a female'

Who talks like that?
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#836 May 09 2011 at 10:24 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kavekk wrote:
'a female'

Who talks like that?
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#837 May 09 2011 at 11:16 PM Rating: Decent
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Belkira wrote:
Yeeaaah. Any "you remind me of my sibling" comments would sort of seal the deal in a lot of ways for me. lol

It was funnier when I thought you said this.
#838 May 10 2011 at 5:46 AM Rating: Good
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Quote:
In my cases they were, that has been the number one rejection for me. To me, it doesn't make sense how a female will date a guy nearly twice her age but not date a guy a few years younger than her. Women just tend to want older guys. That's why the mid 30's are awesome, because you have such a larger age range. Since I'm not that old yet, I'm not sure, but it seems that the older women get, the more acceptable they are to younger guys.


First off, can you stop using the word "female" it makes you sound like a robot.

Secondly, I've noticed the trend too, however it was explained to me by a few people as being a maturity issue where supposedly women are more mature than men so they date older men. I don't buy it in regards to those of my age group, the girls tend to be fairly immature themselves now, but I can sort of see it in older age groups.

Quote:
The fact that I apparently look so much younger than what I really am, doesn't help now. Darn the military facial hair regulations! I was just in the club the other night where a female paused the conversation immediately to ask how old I was. I can tell by her expression that she was determining if I was too young. Fortunately it was only by one year. She still joked about me being so young... ><


I've never understood why, in the last century or two, facial hair has become a bad thing. I mean, beards have been in style for thousands of years, why the problem now? As long as it's kept neat, it doesn't look unprofessional or messy. I hate having to shave to be taken seriously.
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#839 May 10 2011 at 6:37 AM Rating: Good
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Driftwood wrote:
I've never understood why, in the last century or two, facial hair has become a bad thing. I mean, beards have been in style for thousands of years, why the problem now? As long as it's kept neat, it doesn't look unprofessional or messy. I hate having to shave to be taken seriously.
What the **** are you going on about? Maybe you need to look at the rest of your appearance or what you consider to be well kept if you think your facial hair is getting in the way of you being taken serious.
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#840 May 10 2011 at 6:39 AM Rating: Good
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Almalieque wrote:
military facial
lul.
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#841 May 10 2011 at 7:26 AM Rating: Good
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Bardalicious wrote:
Almalieque wrote:
military facial
lul.

They allow those now?
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#842 May 10 2011 at 7:29 AM Rating: Decent
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What the **** are you going on about? Maybe you need to look at the rest of your appearance or what you consider to be well kept if you think your facial hair is getting in the way of you being taken serious.


The rest of my appearance? Button-down shirts, a good pair of blue jeans or a good pair of semi-dress pants, depending on the situation. Blazer or nice coat, depending on the weather. Sometimes a fedora, but not usually for business things. These days I keep my hair quite tidy and short. When I have a beard, I keep it under control and trimmed well.

So, with that in consideration, as well as the fact that people just tend to treat me differently when I have a beard, I have concluded that it's the beard. There is also a staggering number of businesses that have a no facial hair policy, ranging from fast food and low end convenience retail, to call centers, to large offices.

The beard is seen as a bad thing these days.

Unless you're over 50.

Edit: I can really only go by what I observe. And this is what I've seen.

Edited, May 10th 2011 9:32am by Driftwood
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Eske wrote:
I've always read Driftwood as the straight man in varus' double act. It helps if you read all of his posts in the voice of Droopy Dog.
#843 May 10 2011 at 8:05 AM Rating: Good
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I have a goatee and work with others who have facial hair and have throughout my life. Its never been a roadblock for anyone. I think maybe you just need to move.


That being said, I'm not surprised when facial hair is frowned upon in any food service setting.
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#844 May 10 2011 at 8:23 AM Rating: Decent
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That being said, I'm not surprised when facial hair is frowned upon in any food service setting.


Nor am I. When I am employed in the food service field(which I am not due to lack of available jobs for those who haven't gone to college yet), I do keep my beard very short, leaving just enough to not look like I'm 16.
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Eske wrote:
I've always read Driftwood as the straight man in varus' double act. It helps if you read all of his posts in the voice of Droopy Dog.
#845 May 10 2011 at 8:33 AM Rating: Excellent
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Driftwood wrote:
When I am employed in the food service field(which I am not due to lack of available jobs for those who haven't gone to college yet),[...]

Wait, you're not employed in food service because they don't have food service jobs available for non college students? WTF are they requiring food service employees to do in your neck of the woods that requires college education?
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#846 May 10 2011 at 8:39 AM Rating: Good
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Nothing, just business owners who have ridiculously high standards(or will pick the less qualified older people because they don't trust younger people). I'm out of this backwards *** hick town the moment I finish college.

In this city, being anything but ignorant is frowned upon. I've even been fired from a job for being right about something that the boss hadn't even thought of, and this isn't uncommon here. The majority of the workforce is over 50, and are generally less qualified for the jobs they do than those under 30, but get preferential treatment because "they're less likely to steal".

Edited, May 10th 2011 10:59am by Driftwood
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Eske wrote:
I've always read Driftwood as the straight man in varus' double act. It helps if you read all of his posts in the voice of Droopy Dog.
#847 May 10 2011 at 11:23 AM Rating: Good
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Ailitardif wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
Almalieque wrote:
military facial
lul.

They allow those now?


Almost.
#848 May 10 2011 at 11:56 AM Rating: Good
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Guenny wrote:
Ailitardif wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
Almalieque wrote:
military facial
lul.

They allow those now?


Almost.
Does it not almost seem that it's law-makers and not the military itself that is so dead-set on holding on to their bigotry?
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#849 May 10 2011 at 1:01 PM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
Guenny wrote:
Ailitardif wrote:
Bardalicious wrote:
Almalieque wrote:
military facial
lul.

They allow those now?


Almost.
Does it not almost seem that it's law-makers and not the military itself that is so dead-set on holding on to their bigotry?


Think of how much of their base they would alienate if Republican lawmakers supported this, instead of spewing the flagrant bigotry that is expected of them in their elected position.
#850 May 10 2011 at 5:23 PM Rating: Default
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Driftwood wrote:
First off, can you stop using the word "female"


No.

Driftwood wrote:
Secondly, I've noticed the trend too, however it was explained to me by a few people as being a maturity issue where supposedly women are more mature than men so they date older men. I don't buy it in regards to those of my age group, the girls tend to be fairly immature themselves now, but I can sort of see it in older age groups.


That's what I've always been told since elementary school. Elementary girls date middle school boys, middle school girls date high school boys, high school girls date college boys, college women seek 30 year old established men. I noticed as I was growing up that us "guys" never really matured. If you get a group of 40 year old men together, they are going to act just as immature.

Driftwood wrote:
I've never understood why, in the last century or two, facial hair has become a bad thing. I mean, beards have been in style for thousands of years, why the problem now? As long as it's kept neat, it doesn't look unprofessional or messy. I hate having to shave to be taken seriously.


The military explanation is chemical warfare.

Edited, May 11th 2011 4:03am by Almalieque
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Almalieque wrote:

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#851 May 11 2011 at 4:35 AM Rating: Good
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Almalieque wrote:


The military explanation is chemical warfare.

What about mustaches?
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