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Forum Predictions for 2008Follow

#1 Dec 31 2007 at 6:43 PM Rating: Excellent
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'Tis that time yet again, that one special day when Kaolian's the world over are able to see into the future for the coming year. When predictions are predicted, cheeses are partook of, and people drop large shiny balls from flagpoles in elaborate spider squishing attempts

https://everquest.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=4;mid=116761622223362835
https://everquest.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=4;mid=1136235756206902456
https://everquest.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=4&mid=1104540810759933319

2008 will see exciting new changes to the forum world. In an effort to increase posting, the forum servers will be moved into their own time relative pocket dimension, protected by an evil jellyfish, which will allow everyone to post posts before they actually post them, creating somewhat amusing time paradoxical threads. Everything will go well right up until someone decides to post a spoiler before the movie involved even exists. In the resulting lawsuit, we end up having to sell the SWG forum to china. The empty space will be used for a petting zoo.

Victorious in their war against the evil rental servers of doom, the clusters will again turn to civil conflicts. To minimize the destruction, the new servers, led by cluster Optimus 24 will hold weekly battles with the evil older servers, led by the legendary clstr 7 every Sunday. Clstr 12, seeking to profit will sell tickets and eventually buy itself a pony.

2008 Will be the year of no Karma threads, after the word is filtered to "Bagels"

The Asylumite insurgency into the OOT will continue, as we secretly increase our post count at their expense, whilst stealing all the good stuff from their Minibar. By mid May, they should be all out of Rum.

In the shade of the yak, a total of 19.5 sages from the new order will converge and begin the Rite of Kazak Goom-won. Thus opened, the gates of eld will fling forth and disgorge the Destroyer. The Cheese Lord will meet him, and by the clash of Bangles will the fate of the world be decided.

Tare, ruler of all mankind and overlord of the forums will continue to rule with an iron fist of doom, however soon her plans will turn to thoughts of conquest once again, and a massive invasion of {insert forum name here} will commence.

Smasharoo will invent a robotically operated fryolater, putting thousands of fry cooks out of business. The immediate drop in revenue will force thousands take up a career in professional yodeling.

Katie, having learned nothing from her devastating faster than light experiments of the year before, will this year invent the "Slower than light" drive, and then proceed to attach it to a photon. The abrupt shift in lightspeed will cause us to all start moving at the speed of dark, which will make it very difficult to maneuver into doorways. As a side benefit, sales of plastic nose guards will quadruple, boosting the world economy tenfold!

Justdistaint, in a completely unexpected twist of fate, will implode.

Jophiel's poor account, not able to take the strain of so many posts will shatter into 42 separate and distinct new accounts, each with their own posting style and post count. They will eventually form a hive mind and retreat to some distant and unknown forum, to postulate new posts faster than theoretically possible. Flan will be served!

In a massive upset election, Elinda will win a surprising write in campaign to become prime minister of Norway. Her first act in office will be to declare endangered species animals entirely delicious!

Youshutup Will be bitten by a were-sheep... in Scotland!

Ambrya will on one particular lazy Saturday morning cook the Ultimate Waffle. No greater waffle will ever be seen on our planet than this one waffle, and for a time, the earth will stand still with each delicious buttery bite.

Supreme Admiral tarv will embark on a naval campaign to free England from the crushing Tyranny of Samirakland, but will later turn sides after being offered command of the significantly more shiny navy on the other side. All their ships have cupholders!

Atomicflea, having discovered the effects of the legendary Pisco Sour on Asylumites, will secretly develop a "Pisco ray" and zap everyone. The new Pisco ray rating system will be controversial, yet quite popular.

DaimenKain and Darkknight will Dual to the Death to Determine which D name is Destined for Decapitation by Dinosaur.

kanidana will likely not see this post. So I'm not sure why they are on here but ok then

johnnny will be taunted by a Holy Cow!

Renowned world explorer Nadenue will discover a secret portal to the moon. Upon arriving, she discovers that it is not in fact Earth's moon, but the moon orbiting neptoon, and that the moon is no moon, it's actually a space station.

Having conquered all of Eurasia, Samira will turn her eyes south towards the Ivory coast and Australia. The Glorious empire of Samirakland shall rule all! except Greenland, which is deemed too smelly for inclusion.

Illia will set a new world record for high altitude sky diving after secretly sneaking onto the International Space Station with a large ceramic disc.

Pensive will decide to start a forum pension plan. For just 3 posts a day, you retire and your post count increases at 1/3 your posting rate for life. All goes well until he realizes that not being a Dev, he has no way to implement the plan, and is later charged with running a pyramid scheme.

jackjeckel will.

Darqflame will Win the Lottery... in Uzbekistan! Winning a massive sum of 8 billion So'mi's per year, which of course translates into about $52 cents U.S. On the plus side, she could use that to buy a surplus Nuclear Submarine from the Uzbek stockpiles left over from the Soviets!

The following people will be ingested by the dread chicken of Bristol: Shminty Dierks, fatalillusiontw,
Zieveraar, Tailmon and Aripyanfar

Having unsuccessfully tried to obliterate France with a giant robotic Flyswatter, Nobby is secretly kidnapped by Elizabeth Hurley and forced to do her evil bidding for months, until being rescued by a traveling troupe of Spanish midgets armed with pepper spray grenades. In gratitude, he decides to follow them around singing songs as their minstrel, until that gets boring.

Elderon will begin to stalk OOTers and will later be arrested for impersonating an FBI agent. But will get off on a technicality because the judge will be a closet Asylumite.

DSD Will launch a trendy new restaurant that deals with intriguing ways to prepare fried ice cream. It will be delicious!

MDenham will secretly change his name to mahneDM and proceed to talk backwards for the entire year

Totem will be totally jealous of my miniature helicopter RC model when it gets here on Thursday

RedPhoenixxx will arise again from the ashes!

Demea will discover a new type of material that when applied to alcohol, will increase the intoxification effects tenfold. He will then market them as shot glasses, which will be quickly banned in most countries. Except Pakistan.

The forum system will briefly be replaced by Mimes.

GitSlayer Will discover the secret to true happiness when he determines how to clone a Tur-duck-hen and feed the people of the world at a tidy profit

Yanari, while suffering a minor case of nerve spasms, will invent a new dance, called the Yan yan. An instant hit with the sub 18 set, Yanari goes on to become a famous pop singer with her distinctive shatter rock gothic yodel sound.

Allakhazam and Fleven will embark on a fishing expedition, only to inadvertently discover and catch the dreaded Megalodon! We will later build a tank for it in the multi games forum and feed goldsellers to it!

MoebiusLord will be mysteriously eaten by a large shark...

Exodus will become the center of the world's next Epic Mystery, though in the process the location of Emelia Earhart's airplane is discovered.

In conclusion of the Prophecy, fhrugby appear twice on Bandorf street in Walshburn, Maine. Our Doom is at hand!

Angstycoder will hopefully escape Houston.

Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji GbajiGbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji Gbaji!!!!!!

ElneClare and Jonwin will install an elevator on their balcony, just in case!

Imperial Ninja will be demoted to Kingdom Ninja briefly over a misunderstanding involving a misplaced grape seed.

Rimesume will be eaten by a Grue because he forgot his lantern

shadowrelm will be named Chair of the FAA committee to modernize Air Traffic Control. God help us all.

The Asylum will briefly be renamed to Wombatville, until they patch the data access hole.

Having successfully distributed her mind control T-shirts and gained access to radio broadcast, Pikko Will continue to build her secret army of mind controlled FFXIers for her eventual bid to take over Samariakland!

bodhisattva will again be assaulted by squeegee wielding scientology fanatics convinced he
disparaged Tom cruise.

Debalic will [Ordered Censored by Homeland security and the department of Agriculture]

paulsol will be discovered to be the sole paul in the forum.

trickybeck will be sighted being tricky at a Beck concert.

bismarckmajivo Will:
Go crazy :0 (0.0%)
Turn into a mutant emu:10 (32.3%)
Take over Guam :4 (12.9%)
choice 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :17 (54.8%)
Total:31


Barkingturtle will be involved in a Federal Misdemeanor involving a blow up Piranha, 2 cows, a broken trombone and 3 vats of surgical glue.

Nizdaar will code a new forum button soooo cool, that it can never be released for fear it would render all other posts obsolescent. It will be locked in a secret hidden forum, never to be released to the light of day. And he will eat a sandwich.

Iamadam will be sucked into a mysterious palindrome plague involving madam im adam!

Driftwood, having successfully cured his toast vampirism, will become a motivational speaker

Codyy will be molested by Anne Heche.

Danalog and Peepmouse will begin a magical journey to a far off land clouded year round in rain and mystery!

neesh will realize his name sounds particularly like an abbreviated sneeze

thatdamnelf will be outed as a damned hobbit.

bsphil Will be eaten by the ghost of the Snail

MentalFrog will get a headache. In his mind! (Ok, I got nothing. You realize how long this takes to write? They can't all be winners)

Nexa will use her recently acquired superpowers to save the earth from an impending comet strike, only to be turned slightly evil by its radiation. She will then embark on a wave of slightly evil mischief, culminating with the painting green and purple of every world monument

Me? I'll finish consolodating my dominion of the world, and invent a new type of tupperware!

Anyone else I forgot will be entirely bedazzled by a shiny green button!
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#2 Dec 31 2007 at 6:47 PM Rating: Good
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Green button huh?

Yeah, I don't feel like copy pasting IRC.
#3 Dec 31 2007 at 6:56 PM Rating: Good
Geez no love for forum=36'ers. I say we boycott DB. Boycott Smiley: thumbsup
#4 Dec 31 2007 at 6:56 PM Rating: Default
ASYLUM OVERLORD DARTH KAOLIAN did decree:
Quote:
Codyy will be molested by Anne Heche.



Sweet Margaret Mother of Bob! FuCk, how bad is southern comfort to a wireless keyboard?
#5 Dec 31 2007 at 7:01 PM Rating: Good
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Brill wrote:
Geez no love for forum=36'ers. I say we boycott DB. Boycott Smiley: thumbsup



We're boycotting DB? I guess I can do that.
#6 Dec 31 2007 at 7:02 PM Rating: Good
Meh I'd still hit it.

Quote:
We're boycotting DB? I guess I can do that.

And so it begins...

Edited, Dec 31st 2007 10:02pm by Brill
#7 Dec 31 2007 at 7:13 PM Rating: Excellent
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Ok, fine

Brill, Duodenum, and Darkenbuddy will all be on an airplane flying to Peru over a mountain range when they are forced to crash land. During their gruleing 3 hour wait to be rescued, they are forced to resort to cannibalism, and eat Brill. He was apperently not delicious.
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#8 Dec 31 2007 at 7:16 PM Rating: Excellent
You're a *******.
#9 Dec 31 2007 at 7:19 PM Rating: Decent
Brill got eaten for New Years? Always knew he was vagalicious.
#10 Dec 31 2007 at 7:22 PM Rating: Good
Guess the fuckers aren't vegans Smiley: mad
#11 Dec 31 2007 at 7:41 PM Rating: Decent
Maybe they thought you were Krill not Brill?
#12 Dec 31 2007 at 7:50 PM Rating: Decent
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I can live with that.

Get it? I can live brill?



Edited, Dec 31st 2007 10:50pm by Darkenbuddy
#13 Dec 31 2007 at 7:53 PM Rating: Decent
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
In a massive upset election, Elinda will win a surprising write in campaign to become prime minister of Norway. Her first act in office will be to declare endangered species animals entirely delicious!
Wombatifisk will be declared the traditional meal served on the eve of the newly created National Norwegian holiday, Utsette For Fare Termingaden.

Glade Nytt år!! Smiley: smile



Edited, Jan 1st 2008 5:14am by Elinda
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#14 Dec 31 2007 at 7:54 PM Rating: Excellent
This thread is quickly moving from suck to blow Smiley: disappointed
#15 Dec 31 2007 at 7:55 PM Rating: Good
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Yay! I live. I don't think Brill has enough meat(Smiley: sly)on his bones(Smiley: sly)to fill me up, though...
#16 Dec 31 2007 at 7:56 PM Rating: Default
Darkenbuddy wrote:
I can live with that.

Get it? I can live brill?



Edited, Dec 31st 2007 10:50pm by Darkenbuddy


3 words DB. Rocky Mountain Oysters.

Edited, Dec 31st 2007 9:57pm by Katie
#17 Dec 31 2007 at 8:27 PM Rating: Excellent
/me bedazzled by the shiny green button.

Smiley: inlove


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#18 Dec 31 2007 at 10:23 PM Rating: Good
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Turn the ship around.
#19 Jan 01 2008 at 12:51 AM Rating: Good
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Kaolin wrote:
Ambrya will on one particular lazy Saturday morning cook the Ultimate Waffle. No greater waffle will ever be seen on our planet than this one waffle, and for a time, the earth will stand still with each delicious buttery bite.


I'm pretty sure time and space would have to stop in the first place to get me to even approach the waffle iron. That thing scares me. Sometimes when the house is really quiet at night, I swear I can hear it whispering with the rice cooker and the Foreman grill, hatching nefarious small appliance plots.






...what?



Edited, Jan 1st 2008 12:52am by Ambrya
#20 Jan 01 2008 at 2:31 AM Rating: Good
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Atomicflea, having discovered the effects of the legendary Pisco Sour on Asylumites, will secretly develop a "Pisco ray" and zap everyone. The new Pisco ray rating system will be controversial, yet quite popular.


OOooh. I think you may be on to something here. Point it this way!

Great stuff, Kao.
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#21 Jan 01 2008 at 3:23 AM Rating: Decent
Quote:
Rimesume will be eaten by a Grue because he forgot his lantern



Zorks!


Err...ah...


I mean Zoiks! I think. Much tooo wasted to remember clearly.


But I do have this nifty flashlight! Got any batteries?


Quote:
choice 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


/schwarzenegger on
I was elected to lead, not to read.

Edited, Jan 1st 2008 3:27am by Rimesume
#22 Jan 01 2008 at 5:28 AM Rating: Good
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First we will have to build a balcony.
The balcony involved in my broken leg is located on the museum building for the ship.
#23 Jan 01 2008 at 5:49 AM Rating: Decent
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She will then embark on a wave of slightly evil mischief, culminating with the painting green and purple of every world monument


This is pretty much what happens to every room in my house, lately.

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#24 Jan 01 2008 at 6:50 AM Rating: Good
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Quote:
Atomicflea, having discovered the effects of the legendary Pisco Sour on Asylumites, will secretly develop a "Pisco ray" and zap everyone. The new Pisco ray rating system will be controversial, yet quite popular.
Everyone will be well-rested, for one. Smiley: lol
#25 Jan 01 2008 at 8:03 AM Rating: Good
Ctrl+F Soracloud


Smiley: rolleyes
#26 Jan 01 2008 at 8:05 AM Rating: Decent
I predict that Neph takes over Allakhazam's in a hostile take over led by crying teething tots with commando gear and AK47's in a bid to bring back the numbers. He is eventually taken down by the same tots when he runs out of his supply of Ambesol.
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