Forum Settings
       
« Previous 1 2
Reply To Thread

...and then I threw a bible at her.Follow

#1 Jul 01 2007 at 8:37 PM Rating: Excellent
***
3,412 posts
Ok, so I have an anecdote to recount. But to make it more interesting, I'm pulling a Tarantino or a Dane Cook and I've given you the punchline first. Now let's travel back, back to the beginning of the story, so that you'll understand why I threw a bible at her.

I work in a bookstore. Books-A-Million. If you're fortunate enough to live in a location where B-A-M has not metastasized, basically it's the K-Mart of bookstores (cheap, ghetto and not at all fun) whereas Borders is the Target (overpriced but hip and trendy) and Barnes & Noble is the Wal-Mart (everywhere, literally everywhere). Not only do I work at Books-A-Million in a soul-leeching job as a part-time clerk, but I live in Georgia. Conservative "Middle Georgia". And today was Sunday, and I had to work today.

So I'm up at the store drinking a cup of coffee and straightening books when the "her" from the topic title came in. Weighing in at approximately 240 lbs, she was an impressive specimen of good, church-going, God-fearing woman. She had the prerequisite huge black hat and the gaudy faux pearls and the "dear god, what did they use for the stitching?" dress. And she wanted a bible.

"Welcome to Books-A-Million, can I help you find anything today?" I asked, smiling to belie my abject hatred of my current role in life.

"I need a bible. I want one that's in extra large print, with a leather binding, and it needs to be an NIV version. I want the words of Christ our Lord God In Heaven in red, and I want index tabs up the side of it to mark the books."

After trying for a moment to wrap my head around exactly what it was she wanted, I attempted to use our primitive computer system to see if we had any such bibles. As the infernal beast (the PC, not the woman) did its work, I attempted to engage my customer in polite conversation.

"Just coming in from church?" I asked.

"Oh yes, Reverend gave a WONDERFUL sermon on the evils of the sin of homosexuality."

"Oh. I see... Let's see if we have that bible for you."

I then escorted her to the section of the store where we keep the two-toned leather-bound modern translation bibles for the blind. As we're walking to the ridiculously oversized Christian section, she regales me with choice samples of her minister's sermon. I nod politely and grunt in the affirmative from time to time, trying desperately to drown out the cow by focusing on the bad classical music being piped in and played overhead.

I began searching the bible shelves for anything labelled "Extra Large Print" or "Gargantuan Print" or the like, still just vaguely listening to my customer. I think it was at this point that she realized I'd more or less tuned her out. She looked at me, then at my name badge.

"Jason, you aren't a homosexual are you?"

What was I to say? That's not the kind of thing that often comes up at work, and I didn't want to offend my customer (more on the grounds that, as much as I hate my job, I still need the income; the bitch had already offended me as it was).

"Ma'am, I really would rather not answer that question. I don't think that's the kind of thing to be discussed at work. Now here are a few bibles that I think might..."

She interrupted me by putting her giant, meaty hand on my shoulder. "Oh Jason, say you aren't a heathen homosexual. Do you not know what God has to say about faggotry? In the book of blah blah in the gospel of blah..."

"Ma'am, I really don't want to discuss this with you. My sexual orientation is my decision and my business, not yours. Yes, I'm gay. And that's not likely to change no matter what you say, so I would appreciate it if we could drop the issue now. I'd be happy to resume helping you find a bible, or if you aren't comfortable working with me I can get another associate."

Of course, she didn't hear a word I'd said after I'd admitted to being gay. "Oh God in Heaven, please bless this young man and save him from evil and temptation. Jason here is a good soul and he has lost the light of Your way, he longs to walk Your path and...."

Now she was praying for me. In the middle of the bookstore. Holding my shoulder and doing that ridiculous swaying thing that fat women tend to do when they pray.

"Ma'am!" I yelped as I pulled away from her. "I really don't appreciate that. My sexual orientation NOT your concern, and I don't give a damn what the bible has to say about it either. I am done here, if you need any more help you'll have to find another employee." I turned to walk off.

She grabbed my shoulder from behind as I was walking away and resumed praying. "Lord Jesus, sweet savior of souls, bless this young man and lead him back to..."

I whirled around, still clutching the bible I'd pulled off the shelf, the New International Version with the leather binding and the giant print. "THAT IS ENOUGH!" I shouted. "You can take your religious babbling nonsense and get out of this store right now!"

And then I threw a bible at her. Somehow, surely by the grace of her God, I managed to miss her girth and it hit the floor instead. She shrieked and went waddling down the aisle to the front door at a blistering, break-neck amble.

Somehow, I still have my crappy job. If it were a good job, I'm sure I'd be unemployed right now. But it's a job I hate, so of course not even hurling merchandise at customers can get me fired. Obviously, there is a god. And obviously, he does hate fags. =(
____________________________
~Sab
#2 Jul 01 2007 at 8:54 PM Rating: Good
*****
10,245 posts
So, is this the new Saturday Night Live animated sketch? Gay Gbaji?
____________________________
I had a very witty signature once, but apparently it offended the sensibilities of some of the frailer constitutions that frequent this particular internet message board.

[The rest of this message has been censored and I can't tell you what I actually think of you]
#3 Jul 01 2007 at 8:56 PM Rating: Good
***
3,412 posts
MoebiusLord the Irrelevant wrote:
So, is this the new Saturday Night Live animated sketch? Gay Gbaji?


Gay Gbaji, that's utterly terrifying. Sorry Moe, I know your people don't want to claim him, but you had him first. You're not going to ninja him off on us.

Also, I know I've been busy lately and haven't been around much, but what the hell is with your sig? That's one of those universe-destroying paradoxes, like Gay Gbaji or White Totem or Homely Flea. It's just wrong. It hurts my eyes.

Edited, Jul 2nd 2007 12:57am by Saboruto
____________________________
~Sab
#4 Jul 01 2007 at 8:58 PM Rating: Decent
Ok, I gotta give ya props for that bud. I would guess it's enough of a pain in the ass dealing with homophobic people on a daily basis as it is but to have some religious zealot assault you with their belief in your place of business because of your personal preference had to be hard.

While I don't know that I would have reacted as you did, I think every person who has to deal with one of these zealous types for whatever reason secretly wishes they could do exactly that. Hell, I have 2 ladies who seem to have this belief that I am interested in converting over to their faith and show up at my house every Sunday expecting me to invite them in, even though I tell them every week politely that I am just NOT interested and thank you. And every week they try to push this Watchtower magazine on me, convinced that they can "save me" from whatever they think my malfunction is. I'm about ready to tell them I am a follower of Set just to freak them out...

I don't mind religion or faith, but ffs, if someone tells you they are not interested or do not believe as you do, leave them the hell alone and stop pushing your views on them already. If they were really that interested in it, they probably would have told you or invited you to continue your ranting but since they didn't, go the hell away and leave them alone, m'kay?
____________________________
Wordaen - Click here to contact me!
#5 Jul 01 2007 at 8:59 PM Rating: Excellent
Avatar
******
29,705 posts
I worked in a barnes and noble during college in prescott, AZ. As you may or may not know, prescott is a hotbed for fundamentalist christians AND new age spiritualists. I.E. The wackjobs that think Tim Lehey is the next best thing to some sort of prophet, and or the ones that read that psychic silvia brown crap and think that shoving a crystal up your left nostril will cure ailments.

So one time I was in the store, and this lady comes in. I swear she was either high on something, or insane. She wandered around the store for a good 2 hours before she decided to pick a staff person and talk them to death. I unfortunatly got picked. It literally got so bad that I was wandering around the store clearing up shelves and restocking items completly ignoring her after about a half hour of her babbling. She finally left, and apperently my manager at the time had encountered her before because she actually thanked me for keeping the crazy one occupied and away from the paying customers.

I definitly would have thrown a book at the crazy lady though if I thought i could have gotten away with it.

I did drop an entire stack of Dianne Giabaldon hardcovers on my foot once. I don't think that counts though.
____________________________
Arch Duke Kaolian Drachensborn, lvl 95 Ranger, Unrest Server
Tech support forum | FAQ (Support) | Mobile Zam: http://m.zam.com (Premium only)
Forum Rules
#6 Jul 01 2007 at 9:05 PM Rating: Good
***
3,412 posts
What is it about working in bookstores? >_<
____________________________
~Sab
#7 Jul 01 2007 at 9:27 PM Rating: Decent
Scholar
****
9,997 posts
It's really too bad you missed.
____________________________
Hyrist wrote:
Ok, now we're going to get slash fiction of Wint x Kachi somehere... rule 34 and all...

Never confuse your inference as the listener for an implication of the speaker.

Good games are subjective like good food is subjective. You're not going to seriously tell me that there's not a psychological basis for why pizza is great and lutefisk is revolting. The thing about subjectivity is that, as subjects go, humans actually have a great deal in common.
#8 Jul 02 2007 at 2:57 AM Rating: Good
*****
16,228 posts
We've missed you Sabo!
#9 Jul 02 2007 at 3:18 AM Rating: Good
Avatar
******
23,920 posts
Good on you for standing up to her, sucks it had to come to that though. Is it that hard for people to just clam up and mind their own business?

Now you just have to work on your aim, she'll be back with some church friends.
____________________________
Rochefort Dean ~ FFXIV ARR ~ Ultros ~ DoH all @ 50
Soracloud ~ FFXI ~ RIP

Beer Advocate

Friar Tuck wrote:
This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker and glory to his bounty by learning about... BEER.

#10 Jul 02 2007 at 4:00 AM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
*****
10,277 posts
Pffft, those nutty Christians. Good to see you, Sabo.
____________________________
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
#11 Jul 02 2007 at 4:29 AM Rating: Excellent
Caffeine Queen
*****
14,429 posts
she was that large and you missed her???
Truly, props to you for being level headed enough to hold out for as long as you did. The moment she grabbed your shoulder, if it were me, I would have had no hesitation throwing her large, sweaty paws off the merchandise, so to speak.And yes, good to see you back, Sabo.
____________________________
Uglysasquatch wrote:
DSD kicked Alma in the ass on another thread over the weekend. Clearly, she kicked too hard as he's obviously still feeling it.

Suburban Rebel Mom Blog
#12 Jul 02 2007 at 4:40 AM Rating: Good
That sucks man, you handled it rather well overall. Hopefully the next time you encounter someone like that you'll get fired like you wanted...or something like that.

Nice to see you're back by the way.
____________________________
Proud citizen of Miranda.

-Currently on Pochacco Server of Hello Kitty Online.
#13 Jul 02 2007 at 4:51 AM Rating: Excellent
Guru
***
3,339 posts
DSD wrote:
she was that large and you missed her???


Bah, everyone knows fags suck at sports.

He would have been better off giving her a REALLY tragic haircut.

____________________________
Kavekk wrote:
I must admit, I'm much nicer to people IRL. It's not that the internet makes me bold, it's just that in real life I can only kill people once, so there's no point in camping them afterwards.
#14 Jul 02 2007 at 4:58 AM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
******
27,894 posts
The Nadenu of Doom wrote:
We've missed you Sabo!


Indeed! As for this:

Sabo "Throw the Book at Her" ruto wrote:
Gay Gbaji, that's utterly terrifying. Sorry Moe, I know your people don't want to claim him, but you had him first. You're not going to ninja him off on us.


I heard almost the same thing from a gay friend about Tom Cruise. We were discussing the burning "Will he ever come out of the closet?" question.
____________________________
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

#15 Jul 02 2007 at 5:22 AM Rating: Decent
***
2,847 posts
you should have hit on her. whould have stoped her in her tracks.......or gotten you a stalker. hehehe

looked her in the eyes, and say something like "God has surely blessed you with the most stunning eyes ever given to women, and your body is singing to me spirituially." "please, place your hand not just upon my sholder, the passion flowing from it is setting the rest of my body on fire...."

two things might have happened. she would "pretend" to be insulted and winked at you on the way out the door and bought books there every sunday for the rest of her life, or, she would have thrown you to the floor right then and screwed you to within an inch of your life.

its a win win. either your boss is happy and gives you a raise, or you finally get to poke something that doesnt have teeth in it or smell like a sewer when your done.

silly faggot. crap is for toliets, not loving.
____________________________
power lies within shadows
#16 Jul 02 2007 at 5:55 AM Rating: Good
Problem is, the whole idea of modern religion (mostly Christian-based religions) is a double-edged sword for those who aren't of the faith. If you're not of the faith, you need to be saved, and if you ask politely that you'd rather not discuss the issue for whatever reason, that just means that you're further under the influence of evil's power. And, of course, needing to be saved even more.

People like the one you encountered usually just need to be brushed off with a simple, "Gee, you're right," and move along. There's simply no point in wasting your energy trying to convince them otherwise. As much as you don't want to hear what they have to say about what their book says, they don't want to hear what you have to say about your personal beliefs. Everyone goes into the argument already having a solid belief structure that they won't bend for anything, so there's really no point in trying.

Such a crazy world we're living in.

____________________________
BST SMN RDM PLD WAR MNK BLM THF DRK(72)
#17 Jul 02 2007 at 5:57 AM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
*****
10,277 posts
Nah, everyone should just mind their own fucking business.
____________________________
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
#18 Jul 02 2007 at 6:47 AM Rating: Good
Everything's bigger in Texas
*****
13,594 posts
Sabo! I'm sorry you had to put up with trash like her. I think I would have been sorely tempted to turn around when she grabbed your shoulder and tell her, "You realize it's contagious, right?".


On a better note. I'm glad to see you back! We've missed you!
____________________________
"There is one quality that one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it."

- Napoleon Hill


Stargate Worlds
#19 Jul 02 2007 at 6:50 AM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
******
27,894 posts
The One and Only Katie wrote:
Sabo! I'm sorry you had to put up with trash like her. I think I would have been sorely tempted to turn around when she grabbed your shoulder and tell her, "You realize it's contagious, right?".


On a better note. I'm glad to see you back! We've missed you!


Or hiss at her, "Join us. You will, you know. It's only a matter of time...."
____________________________
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

#20 Jul 02 2007 at 7:16 AM Rating: Decent
Samira wrote:
The One and Only Katie wrote:
Sabo! I'm sorry you had to put up with trash like her. I think I would have been sorely tempted to turn around when she grabbed your shoulder and tell her, "You realize it's contagious, right?".


On a better note. I'm glad to see you back! We've missed you!


Or hiss at her, "Join us. You will, you know. It's only a matter of time...."


LOL
____________________________
Wordaen - Click here to contact me!
#21 Jul 02 2007 at 7:23 AM Rating: Good
Drama Nerdvana
******
20,629 posts
Perhaps it is the fact that you throw like a sissy, I am sure tonnes of fun is more likely to attribute your inability to hit the broadside of a barn on divine favour.
____________________________
Bode - 90 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
#22 Jul 02 2007 at 7:33 AM Rating: Excellent
*****
10,245 posts
I come from a very religious background. I have attended seminary and was, at one point, an ordained minister ("at one point" indicating yeah, not any more. Long story I will save for another day). I know enough about the Bible, religion in general and the Christian faith specifically to argue the valid points on either side of most religious discussions with ease.

The basic problem you run in to with "Christians" is that they really and truly have no idea what it is that their religion teaches. Sure, most of them can tell you in very rough paraphrase what the 10 commandments are, and if you ask them to tell you the articles of faith they can muddle through them, but getting past the store-front window display assertions of dogmatic tradition is really a very tough ordeal.

Most "Christians" cling to Levitical law like a security blanket even though it was their savior himself who said let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone. They pick out their little tidbits about the minutia of legalism with such a self-righteous fervor that one could only draw the conclusion that their are a whole host of perfect people in the world. Their idea of conversion is Holy Roman in nature, and they completely miss the fact that their ideas for state controls over issues of morality gives them more in common with fundamentalist Muslim terror states than they could possibly imagine.

That you happen to live in the section of America that would certainly produce the most zealous "Christian" suicide bombers is unfortunate. That you have to deal with such people in daily life is unfortunate. Just remember, though, that you will never be free of small-minded ignorance, from any side. If I'm wrong, correct me please (though I'm not, and protesting won't change that), but I would be willing to bet you look on her and her beliefs with almost as much disdain as she looks on you and your sexual orientation. You and your friends have likely laughed at "Christians" and the re-f'ucking-tarded things that they say from time to time, wondering to yourselves how someone could be so delusional or completely misguided. You probably have the good sense not to grab their shoulders and perform the Gay Prayer of Conversion©, but making them the butt of a joke is probably not beyond believability.

We're all prejudiced. We're all jaundiced by whatever it is we believe in, and as tolerant as some of us like to pretend we are, all of us have people who we belittle and look down on or worse in the quiet sanctuary of our own homes. All I'm saying is hate the bitch because she has a lousy sense of acceptable public behavior, not for her beliefs.
____________________________
I had a very witty signature once, but apparently it offended the sensibilities of some of the frailer constitutions that frequent this particular internet message board.

[The rest of this message has been censored and I can't tell you what I actually think of you]
#23 Jul 02 2007 at 7:33 AM Rating: Good
*****
10,772 posts
Sabo! Don't wait for another Bible-throwing incident to come visit. How are the weddinig plans?
#24 Jul 02 2007 at 7:48 AM Rating: Good
Drama Nerdvana
******
20,629 posts
The problem isn't a religion, it is ignorant twats that use religion as an excuse for their own craziness. - Bob

Preach on Brother Moe!
____________________________
Bode - 90 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
#25 Jul 02 2007 at 7:53 AM Rating: Decent
***
2,501 posts
MoebiusLord the Irrelevant wrote:
Some good stuff.


I had no idea that you were ordained, what made you give up the cloth?
____________________________
First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.

Pastor Martin Niemöller
#26 Jul 02 2007 at 8:00 AM Rating: Excellent
*****
10,245 posts
Quote:
I had no idea that you were ordained, what made you give up the cloth?

Long story, but I didn't. My post, my usual rants against the individual and collective ignorance of church-goers and churches themselves along with a hint that I may have been outspoken regarding the bastardization of the message and Pavlovian attention to dogmatic tradition without regard to the intent of Christ in his teachings (regardless of how you view his divinity) may go some distance to suggesting why the ordaining church may have rescinded my ordination.
____________________________
I had a very witty signature once, but apparently it offended the sensibilities of some of the frailer constitutions that frequent this particular internet message board.

[The rest of this message has been censored and I can't tell you what I actually think of you]
#27 Jul 02 2007 at 8:18 AM Rating: Decent
***
2,501 posts
I've argued the same thing. The message of Christ has been abused for the sake of new people and money coming into church coffers around the country.

It bothers me that people that are supposed to be tolerant of others (stone chucking, sin, and all), and "judge not, lest ye be judged (and found unworthy" is usually left out for some reason, I can't imagine why :roll:)" can be some of the most ignorant people.

I just live my life, tell people about the blessings that I've recieved, and some other messages when needed (and only when needed, I'm not the type to discuss Christianity in public, mostly because of people like this woman), and ignore most of the people that exist on this planet, why can't everyone just do what they're supposed to do, not what they "think" they're supposed to do?
____________________________
First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.

Pastor Martin Niemöller
#28 Jul 02 2007 at 8:54 AM Rating: Good
Caffeine Queen
*****
14,429 posts
Quote:
why can't everyone just do what they're supposed to do, not what they "think" they're supposed to do?


Because throughout any belief there are different representations thrown out. As this woman stated, her preacher had just delivered a sermon against homosexuality. The preacher himself seemed to misunderstand the whole throwing stones bit. Or he conveniently "forgot" about it. So technically, this woman was doing what you think people should be doing. More people are sheep for not looking into what theyre being taught on their own. I guess it makes life easier for them to stay ignorant on their beliefs than to question everything
____________________________
Uglysasquatch wrote:
DSD kicked Alma in the ass on another thread over the weekend. Clearly, she kicked too hard as he's obviously still feeling it.

Suburban Rebel Mom Blog
#29 Jul 02 2007 at 8:57 AM Rating: Decent
***
2,501 posts
Ignorance is bliss, or so I hear.
____________________________
First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.

Pastor Martin Niemöller
#30 Jul 02 2007 at 9:00 AM Rating: Good
Caffeine Queen
*****
14,429 posts
It is easier than looking back at your past actions and feeling ashamed for being such a follower without wondering why you have the prejudices you carry.
____________________________
Uglysasquatch wrote:
DSD kicked Alma in the ass on another thread over the weekend. Clearly, she kicked too hard as he's obviously still feeling it.

Suburban Rebel Mom Blog
#31 Jul 02 2007 at 9:50 AM Rating: Good
Equal Opportunity Hater
*****
19,369 posts
MoebiusLord the Irrelevant wrote:
Quote:
I had no idea that you were ordained, what made you give up the cloth?

Long story, but I didn't. My post, my usual rants against the individual and collective ignorance of church-goers and churches themselves along with a hint that I may have been outspoken regarding the bastardization of the message and Pavlovian attention to dogmatic tradition without regard to the intent of Christ in his teachings (regardless of how you view his divinity) may go some distance to suggesting why the ordaining church may have rescinded my ordination.


So how many boys did you taint before they quit you?
#32 Jul 02 2007 at 10:06 AM Rating: Good
Prodigal Son
*****
19,618 posts
All I got from that story is that apparently gays throw like little girls. Smiley: laugh

Good to see you around, Sabo.
____________________________
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#33 Jul 02 2007 at 10:29 AM Rating: Decent
****
8,619 posts
Quote:
I've argued the same thing. The message of Christ has been abused for the sake of new people and money coming into church coffers around the country.
Thats been going on for a LONG time, as long as the bible itself, after all it was a Pagen that had it put together political reasons.

Thats bound to start you off on the wrong foot.
____________________________
[wowsig]2213854[/wowsig]
Jarkeld Hammerhiem Lvl 36 Paladin/Lvl 30 Armourer
Lestril Hammerhiem Lvl 40 Monk/Lvl 28 Provisioner Blackburrow server
Iaedian Tailchaser lvl 60 Fury/36 Jeweler. Proud member of <Bane> Crushbone server

Your mind is like a Parachute, it only works if it's open.
#34 Jul 02 2007 at 10:37 AM Rating: Good
*****
10,245 posts
Quote:
after all it was a Pagen that had it put together political reasons.

LIES! The bible is the inspired word of Gawd as written down by the anointed to record the will of the almighty that his followers may be taught! It is infallible. It is not open to interpretation. It must be accepted as literally divine in whole or else denied and the unbeliever shall be purged from among you!

EDIT: I really wish I could spell.

Edited, Jul 2nd 2007 1:38pm by MoebiusLord
____________________________
I had a very witty signature once, but apparently it offended the sensibilities of some of the frailer constitutions that frequent this particular internet message board.

[The rest of this message has been censored and I can't tell you what I actually think of you]
#35 Jul 02 2007 at 10:50 AM Rating: Decent
****
8,619 posts
Quote:
LIES! The bible is the inspired word of Gawd as written down by the anointed to record the will of the almighty that his followers may be taught! It is infallible. It is not open to interpretation. It must be accepted as literally divine in whole or else denied and the unbeliever shall be purged from among you!
Did anyone else see flickers of flame when reading that??

best I get me some really good sun block!
____________________________
[wowsig]2213854[/wowsig]
Jarkeld Hammerhiem Lvl 36 Paladin/Lvl 30 Armourer
Lestril Hammerhiem Lvl 40 Monk/Lvl 28 Provisioner Blackburrow server
Iaedian Tailchaser lvl 60 Fury/36 Jeweler. Proud member of <Bane> Crushbone server

Your mind is like a Parachute, it only works if it's open.
#36 Jul 02 2007 at 10:59 AM Rating: Good
*****
10,245 posts
Its almost my favorite discussion to have with "Christians". It comes in a distant second though to "Why do you believe that?". That game makes me happy and filled with warm sunshine. Don't misunderstand, please. I am actually quite envious of genuine faith, and when I encounter it I am humbled, but the vast, vast, majority of people professing faith in any religion really haven't got a clue what it is they're talking about.
____________________________
I had a very witty signature once, but apparently it offended the sensibilities of some of the frailer constitutions that frequent this particular internet message board.

[The rest of this message has been censored and I can't tell you what I actually think of you]
#37 Jul 02 2007 at 11:06 AM Rating: Good
Caffeine Queen
*****
14,429 posts
MoebiusLord the Irrelevant wrote:
Quote:
after all it was a Pagen that had it put together political reasons.

LIES! The bible is the inspired word of Gawd as written down by the anointed to record the will of the almighty that his followers may be taught! It is infallible. It is not open to interpretation. It must be accepted as literally divine in whole or else denied and the unbeliever shall be purged from among you!



$5 said you could not write that with a straight face. I know I couldnt read it with one
____________________________
Uglysasquatch wrote:
DSD kicked Alma in the ass on another thread over the weekend. Clearly, she kicked too hard as he's obviously still feeling it.

Suburban Rebel Mom Blog
#38 Jul 02 2007 at 11:40 AM Rating: Excellent
***
3,412 posts
I guess I've just never understood the idea of conversion via irritation; the idea that if I get on your nerves enough and annoy the piss out of you, eventually you'll believe the same things I do. That, and the idea that religion has no room for self-interpretation, that everyone in one religion has to believe all the same things and that within a religion there's no room for disagreement. It's that kind of thing that turned me off religion in the first place.

And yes, I throw like a girl. On the other hand, I hit a whole lot better than I throw, so it's a shame I didn't just swing on the heifer. =(


EDIT: Since I see you up there Nobby, Darq, I don't suppose I could get one of you to log in and send me an invite to TINFS, eh? I've been watching for you guys for the past few days but nobody's been on.

Edited, Jul 2nd 2007 3:45pm by Saboruto
____________________________
~Sab
#39 Jul 02 2007 at 11:47 AM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
******
27,894 posts
Sabo wrote:
I guess I've just never understood the idea of conversion via irritation;


Well, on the other hand it beats the living hell (no pun intended) over the traditional method of "torture him til he converts, then kill him".
____________________________
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

#40 Jul 02 2007 at 12:26 PM Rating: Good
*****
10,754 posts
What a drama queen.

Smiley: oyvey
____________________________
I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty-cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty-cat. And then, on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home, and PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.

#41 Jul 02 2007 at 1:01 PM Rating: Default
Sage
Avatar
****
8,104 posts
Saboruto wrote:
After trying for a moment to wrap my head around exactly what it was she wanted, I attempted to use our primitive computer system to see if we had any such bibles. As the infernal beast (the PC, not the woman) did its work, I attempted to engage my customer in polite conversation.
(


That so turned me on...
____________________________
Things I sometimes play...

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I want to be a unicorn!"
"Awww, why's that?"........
"So I can stab people with my face."
#42 Jul 02 2007 at 1:29 PM Rating: Excellent
*****
16,228 posts
I don't think I've ever met anyone with true faith. Everyone I know is either like the cow in Sabo's post or they're just your average Joe that goes to church because it's what you do on Sunday morning.
#43 Jul 02 2007 at 1:43 PM Rating: Decent
Scholar
**
503 posts
Ah yes... religious people and Georiga. Folks, not everyone in the south is a relligious nut job. I promise. I live in Georiga as well, and we're not all like that. The south gets a bad rap... and all that... anyways...

It's an unfortunate thing that its always the most obnoxious and noisy members of society that get the most attention. I'm not a Christian myself, but the core of the religion is decent. The dude himself had only one rule: be nice to other people. It's all the jerkwads who came after him that messed up what he said.

Furthermore, that whole bit about homosexuality being against the rule of God? Just tell them that the Bible also approves the death sentence to children who speek out against their parents, oxen owners who accidentally injure someone, anyone who makes a fire on a Sunday, and also has silly things about how we should not suffer witches to live. The Bible also seems to approve of kids sleeping with their parents, having multiple spouces, and yet is firmly against women being allowed to wear pants.

Just 'cause its in the book doesn't mean it makes sense. Lots of stupid people wrote parts of the Bible. What people choose to focus on demonstrates their own forms of hatred.

Oh, and speaking of which--not all overweight folks are bad either. :-)
____________________________
Sandy Rank 10 Windy Rank 10 CoP done ZM 14 Red 70 White 55 Blue 28 Black 33
#44 Jul 02 2007 at 2:44 PM Rating: Decent
Prodigal Son
*****
19,618 posts
MoebiusLord the Irrelevant wrote:

LIES! The bible is the inspired word of Gawd as written down by the anointed to record the will of the almighty that his followers may be taught! It is infallible. It is not open to interpretation. It must be accepted as literally divine in whole or else denied and the unbeliever shall be purged from among you!

Which version? Because they're all different. Starting with the titles.
A friend of mine got kicked out of CCD (and almost slapped by a nun) for pointing that out. Smiley: laugh
____________________________
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#45 Jul 02 2007 at 2:52 PM Rating: Good
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
*****
19,488 posts
Offensive biggotry is just that.

As someone terminally academic enough to have read the books of the major religions, they all share a central message of tolerance and peace, yet all have a few paragraphs that can be twisted to justify vengeance or judgemental prejudice.

Sometimes it manifests itself in 'christian' countries invading 'non-christian' ones.
Sometimes the bombing of innocednts by morans masquerading as muslims.
Caffliks bombing Proddystants (and vice versa).

I have nothing but contempt for religion. (Spirituality is a different kettle of fish)

Welcome back my faggy-yank friend. Hope the rest of life is working out for you.

On the other hand, she was dumb enough to look for bespoke literature in a discount book store, so you should have buried your jimmy choos in her face. It's allowed (Allah/Jebus/Vishnu/Yahweh would approve)
____________________________
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
#46 Jul 02 2007 at 3:19 PM Rating: Good
***
2,771 posts
Smaller bibles make better missiles, there aerodynamics are much cleaner!
____________________________
Pikko wrote:
"I do grow pretty-wetty flowers for people like you to shove up your ass. Would you like the recipe for Carnations or Amaryllis?"


#47 Jul 02 2007 at 3:30 PM Rating: Good
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
*****
19,488 posts
Redyne wrote:
Smaller bibles make better missiles, there aerodynamics are much cleaner!
Maybe that explains the rise of Scientology
____________________________
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
#48 Jul 02 2007 at 3:42 PM Rating: Excellent
Avatar
******
29,705 posts
NEVER associate aerodynamics and Scientology in the same post ever again! What did airplanes ever do to you?
____________________________
Arch Duke Kaolian Drachensborn, lvl 95 Ranger, Unrest Server
Tech support forum | FAQ (Support) | Mobile Zam: http://m.zam.com (Premium only)
Forum Rules
#49shadowrelm, Posted: Jul 02 2007 at 5:50 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) live and let live. have some fun while your here too if you can. as repressed as she probably was, she could have rocked your world. she wasnt presenting you with a problem, she was presenting you with an opertunity.
#50 Jul 02 2007 at 5:51 PM Rating: Good
****
8,619 posts
Quote:
As someone terminally academic enough to have read the books of the major religions, they all share a central message of tolerance and peace, yet all have a few paragraphs that can be twisted to justify vengeance or judgemental prejudice.
I actually found the Koran to be extremely represive and intolerant to non muslims but maybe the copy i read wasn't a mainstream one.

It seemed to me that it was a book written 1500 years ago by a man with real issues regarding women and anyone who didn't believe what he did, and never changed an iota.

It was however a more entertaining read than the monstrosity "written" by that Smith dude, people must be really really stupid to fall for that sh*t...
____________________________
[wowsig]2213854[/wowsig]
Jarkeld Hammerhiem Lvl 36 Paladin/Lvl 30 Armourer
Lestril Hammerhiem Lvl 40 Monk/Lvl 28 Provisioner Blackburrow server
Iaedian Tailchaser lvl 60 Fury/36 Jeweler. Proud member of <Bane> Crushbone server

Your mind is like a Parachute, it only works if it's open.
#51 Jul 02 2007 at 6:09 PM Rating: Decent
*
62 posts
I'm still hung up on the fact that you managed to miss a fat woman in an isle.
« Previous 1 2
Reply To Thread

Colors Smileys Quote OriginalQuote Checked Help

 

Recent Visitors: 60 All times are in CDT