Forum Trek: Act TwoFollow

Dramatis Personas:

Enterprise-A Crew:
Kirk: Smash
Spock: Kelv
McCoy: Angsty
Wesley Crusher: Neph*
Uhura: Nexa
Chekov: Debalic
Red Shirt: Kakar
Ensign Johnson: Nadune

Enterprise-D Crew:
Data: gbaji
Spot: Wingchild
Geordi: mrens
Dr. Crusher: DSD
Councilor Troy: Katie
Worf: Moe
Ro Laren: Yanari
Chief O’Brien: Buffyisgoddess
Lt. Barclay: Danalog
Guynan: Flea
Sulu: Jophiel *

Deep Space 69 Crew:
Holographic Doctor: Yossarian
Commander Sisko: Totem

Miscellaneous:
Gene Roddenbery: Alla
Luke Skywalker: Codyy
Lore: varus
Q: Kao
Marta: Tare
Harcourt Fenton Mudd: Nobby
The Borg: OOC posters
Tribbles: sockpuppets

* These characters have traded ships by the end of act one.


Netspace, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the forum Assylum. It’s continuing mission is to seek out new people and new cultures. And flame them.

Act II Scene I – Ylum Bridge: Spock, Chekov, Wesley Crusher, Uhura and Ensign Johnson (at the science station - ).
Chekov: “Captain, we should be off before that bowl we smoked fully kicks in.”
Wesley: “Is it wise to embark with the captain and the navigator both high?”
Spock: “Indubitably. Set a course for the Neutral zone Mr. Chekov.”
Chekov: “Course laid in…bwahhhahahhaha…I said laid…”
Spock: “Yes, fascinating Mr. Chekov. Crusher, lean over and smack the “Engage” key.”
Crusher: “Aye captain.”
Spock: “So Chekov, where is the finest weed in the neutral zone?”
Chekov: “Sector 6968…pfffft…bwahhahahahhaha…I said “69””
Spock: “Mr. Crusher, lean over and make the course adjustment to sector 6968.”
Crusher begins to lean, stalls, looks around, wordlessly lost in total confusion.
Uhura: “Um, captain, I don’t see how this helps our mission.”
Spock: “Good point. Uhura, any subspace communications from sector 6968?”
Uhura: “None.”
Spock: “What about CRI-band?”
Uhura: “That? Good lord, there must be millions of signals.”
Spock: “Find one; put it on audio.”
Uhura: “Aye captain.”
Uhura fiddles with some dials and…
VOICE ONE: (young, male, adolescent, whispering furatively) “Wanna cyber?”
VOICE TWO: (middle aged, female, earthy with a touch of girlishness) “Aight”
VOICE ONE: “Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.”
VOICE TWO: “I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.”
VOICE ONE: “Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat...”
Spock: “I’ve heard enough. Logically, we must incarcerate this Blood-Ninja hybrid and score some righteous marijuana in the process. Mr Chekov?”
Chekov: “Aye, captain. He’s a threat for sure.”
Spock: “Crusher, lay in a course…Crusher?”
Johnson rushes over to Crusher and leans over him. “He’s asleep, sir, should I wake him?”
Spock taps console to his right and speaks toward it: “McCoy to bridge”
McCoy’s voice: “Aye captain”
Moments pass with Johnson leaning over Crusher. Chekov begins leaning over lower and lower leering at Johnson.
Enter McCoy, bleary eyed and limping. He approaches Crusher.
McCoy: “What happened? I can’t bend down. My back is out.”
Spock: “He seems to be sleeping.”
McCoy: “Computer: medical records Wesley Crusher.”
Computer: “Working…working…”
Uhura: “Mr. McCoy, this could take some time. Barclay replaced our Computer with a gerbil, a Viking Husqvarna 980, and a lampshade.”
McCoy: “Johnson: how’s his pulse? Is his breathing steady?”
Johnson places her head atop Crusher’s well muscled chest: “breathing steady, pulse about 55. I think he’s in REM sleep already his eyes are flickering.”
Chekov falls out of his chair.
McCoy: “What is this, a fundamentalist revival or a bridge?”
Spock: “Chekov, stop checking Johnson out.”
Chekov, “Sorry captain”
Uhura: “What about Crusher? Should I call Nurse Chapel?”
McCoy: “No! She dumped me last night.”
Spock: “Logically.”
McCoy: “What?!”
Spock: “No one volunteered to play the part, and therefore she cannot be called.”
McCoy: “Women. Rip your heart out, stomp on it while it is still beating, and just when you think you can’t take it anymore…”
Crusher springs awake and stands up “Why am I not being hazed? Where is the paddle? Joke uniform? Shaving cream? Oddly shaped vegetables? Where are the practical jokes? I demand...oh”
Spock: “Mister Crusher, please report to sick bay immediately. McCoy, I want to know what is wrong with Crusher, and what can be done about it.”
McCoy: “I can tell you most of what ails Crusher cannot be addressed medically.”
Exit McCoy, Crusher. All other crew return to station.
Spock: “Our bridge crew wares thin…Uhura, who is on duty qualified to take the helm?”
Uhura: “Not many…we have…ensign Yoh.”
Spock: “Isn’t he a security officer?”
Uhura: “Yes. I could get a trainee instead.”
Spock: “No. Extra security on the bridge at this time seems appropriate.”
Enter Ensign Yoh dressed in the traditional red shirt uniform of both security and engineering crew. Yoh takes the helm
Chekov: “Here we are, captain.”
A blue-red planet appears on view.
Spock, standing: “This is sector 6968?”
Chekov: (fondly) “Finest cannabis in the neutral zone.”
Uhura: “We’re being hailed. Apparently someone called Hippopotamus demands a password.”
Spock: “Chekov?”
Chekov: “Oh, right! Just a moment…”
Uhura: “He’s threateneing us with a ratedown.”
Spock: “Johnson, what is his post count?”
Johnson: “Checking…7467.”
Uhura: “Should we even bother to raise shields?”
Spock: “Raise shields. Arm RateSpam™ torpedoes. Chekov, our ability to score high quality Mary-Jane depends on swift action. Be alert.”
Chekov: “Aye.”

To Be Continued.

I will clearly win an Oscar for my role.

Great job, Yoss!

No self-defined sexy but disturbing alieness yet, either.

What else is on?

Nobby-Racktm

Outstanding!

More plz

Your secret is out, Fleajo

Im a hot guy? Or am I reading it wrong?

Isn't she Will Wheaton's mother in the show? See DSD you are all Mommy like.



I'd hit it.

yeah but in the cast it says Dr. Crusher is me and Wesley ( Crushers son) is Neph. But in the actual script it kept talking about Crusher and calling it a him. Should just say Wesley so I dont begin to wonder if Im hot and single

DSD's a MILF.

I could be a dial.

You just want Uhuru to play "Tune in Tokyo" with you.

[:nobrainer:]