What to do?Follow

First off, I'm not the sort of person who really takes advice very often. Second, I solicit advice moreseldomthan I accept it. Third, I recognize when I'm completely out of my depth and am willing to except the first two statements I just made. Finally, if a guy can't get good advice from people he's never met on an off-topic, gloves-off forum on a gaming site, then WTF?

OK, here's the deal. I have issues with committment. Yes, I know that's a shocker, but I assure you all that it's true. That hasn't been a problem for quite some time as I've easily written off all the people I've dated as not worth my time or as I prefer to classify them, "I'd rather **********." That's one stuffed-*** pigeonhole, let me tell you.

I've been known to tell friends, including some who are female that I found the entire sex not good for much more than a poke and to state that life would be easier if I were homosexual because then I could just hang out with other dudes and still get laid. Horridly sexist stereotypical and insensitive statements, I agree. Yet they crossed my lips, so to pretend they didn't would be a worse crime than uttering them in the first place, if you ask me, which you probably haven't at this point, but I'm the one banging this out so I'll just damn well pretend that you did and answer it anyway so as to save you the bother of having to ask later. You can just refer back to this part.

Present day Florida - I've met this woman who does lots of things for me, not the least of which is to make me feel funny in the pants. It's clicked, I mean really clicked for me. She's not even what I have always considered my "type" in so many ways that I spent a couple of weeks asking myself if it was just the novelty of someone so different from the norm for me that was making things interesting. In the end I concluded that it definitelyt wasn't. I've genuinely fallen for her.

If anybody's got out party hats and wazoos, even just for show, put the damn things away. I don't need congratulations, I need help. I am so lost right now that I don't know WTF to do. On the one hand I want to completely openup and pess all of this. On the other, I don't want to send her up into the hills to hide until I go away. She's also committment phobic, but better at dealing with it than I am. (She has the most adorable cough whenever any sort of mention is made by either of us about something vaguely committment related.)

To top things off, she's about to experience some major life changes (quitting work, going back to school for a different field of study) and I want to be a stabilizing factor in her life, not the opposite.

So how the hell do I let her know I'm open, and even eager for an expanded relationship beyond our current status. For clarification, our current status is seeing one another weekly, speaking on the phone around 4 days/week, and sexually active. I'm happy with everything about her, including her faults. Logic says that there need sto be more time but I've got a hungry heart. I want and need for her to feel the same way I do. Yet I fear the possibility of rejection, either real or knee-jerk.

So, what does one do when in this position? Go for it all, driving blindly forward, trusting all to love and fate, hold out patiently for the right time and place when both of us are definitely ready for more, or seek a third path?

All replies will be taken at face value.

Don't go off the deep end with letting her know everything just yet. Just let her know that with everything that will be happening with her life(I assume it will be happening soon?) that you want to be there to help her with it.

It's a pseudo-commitment statement, but you're leaving it rather open ended. You're not flat out saying that you want to take it up a notch. But you're also not saying to her that I don't give a **** about what you will be going through.

How long have you been seeing her TS? I would think anything over 4 months or so kind of already shows that there is commitment there.

/nod

Especially if she's quitting work to go back to school. That's a lot of stress, she probably doesn't need the added stress of you laying something like that on her. Just ride it out, when she wants more commitment she'll let you know. Count on it.

Just let her know that if things were to get a bit more serious, you wouldnt mind at all. I'm sure she already knows this as she is woman, but it's always nice to hear it.

Sock her in the neck. Depending on how she reacts lies your answer.

Some of the best relationships just naturally fall into that path of committed relationships. I say take things as they come, be there for her and she'll see that you're committing yourself.