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Gravestone puns, fun for the whole family!Follow

#1 Apr 24 2006 at 2:05 PM Rating: Excellent
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As I took a brief break today from work, I was thinking that when my time comes I would like something humorous on my gravestone. The old standby lines are boring and trite. "Beloved Husband and Father" or "Rest in Eternal Peace" or whatever the hell lines they always used.

I was thinking if I died in a skydiving accident they could put "He Made Quite the Impression". At least it would make people smile, even if they really didn't want to. You wouldn't be able to help yourself. Or maybe corporate sponsorship. Like if I died in a car accident they could put "But there's good news, Geico had to declare bankruptcy after the settlement from this one"

Anyways... back to work.
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#2 Apr 24 2006 at 2:07 PM Rating: Good
Fell into a wood chipper: Rest in pieces.
#3 Apr 24 2006 at 2:08 PM Rating: Good
Imaginary Friend
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Quote:
Here lies David St. Hubbins... and why not?
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#4 Apr 24 2006 at 2:16 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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I just want mine to say, "Oops."

Nexa
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“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#5 Apr 24 2006 at 2:19 PM Rating: Good
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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Spike Milligan's headstone wrote:
Duirt me leat go raibh me breoite
which translates as "See? I told you I was ill!"
Smiley: lol

. . . and while we're on a morbid roll.

An tight-fisted old Geezer calls the local newspaper to place an obit for his late wife.

Widower: "How much is it?"
Ad Sales Girl: "£1 per word"
Widower: Put "Mary Died"
Ad Sales Girl: "OK sir, but the minimum fee is £5, so you can have another 3 words for no extra cost"
Widower: OK, put "Mary Died. Chrysler for sale"
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#6 Apr 24 2006 at 2:20 PM Rating: Decent
Not about how he dies but..

Here lies Aegis, he could really get your goat.
#7 Apr 24 2006 at 2:23 PM Rating: Good
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I prefer. . .

Elderon.
Pwn3d
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#8 Apr 24 2006 at 2:23 PM Rating: Good
Gurue
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Elderon the Wise wrote:
Not about how he dies but..

Here lies Aegis, he could really get your goat.


[:bazookatotheface:]
#9 Apr 24 2006 at 2:25 PM Rating: Good
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Who the hell is Wynt?
#10 Apr 24 2006 at 2:26 PM Rating: Good
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One of my past sigs celebrated H.G. Wells' choice of epitaphs when I wrote:
“God damn you all, I told you so.”


Edited, Mon Apr 24 15:26:44 2006 by Atomicflea
#12 Apr 24 2006 at 3:10 PM Rating: Good
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When my dad's mom died and the entire family is just crying and all hysterical when they were closing the casket (we had an open casket service), my dad goes up to the podium and says into the microphone "OK, God, you can beam her up now." I think his brothers and sisters wanted to kill him whereas the grandkids were just in stitches. It was a great comic relief moment. So the grandkids want to put some money together and get a little marker stone with "Beam her up."

After one funeral a few years ago, I was walking around the cemetary looking at all the different markers and I read "I don't need a snooze button anymore." I had to double-check myself on that one.
#13 Apr 24 2006 at 3:17 PM Rating: Excellent
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I think I'll have "What are YOU lookin' at?" on mine.

There are some classics around, though.

"Here lies Les Moore.
No Les, no more."
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#14 Apr 24 2006 at 3:24 PM Rating: Decent
Quote:
Score: Decent


Smiley: cry Someone didn't think I was punny enough.




I should start a thread about the injustice of it all.Smiley: sly




Edited, Mon Apr 24 16:27:14 2006 by Elderon
#15 Apr 24 2006 at 4:43 PM Rating: Good
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At Graham Chapman's memorial service, all of the other Pythons were in the congregation weeping as like unto gurlies until John Cleese took to the lectern to elegise.

He began by saying

"I think Graham would be proud to know that his was the first memorial service in which the word "Fu[Azure][/Azure]ck" played a prominent part"

I thought that was imaginative.

For my memorial service I'm thinking of having an orchestra play a convoluted baroque version of the Nokia ring-tone tune.

Altogether now. . .

Diddle ee dee
Diddle ee dee
Diddle ee dee Deeeeeeee.
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#16 Apr 24 2006 at 4:44 PM Rating: Good
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It'd seem nice to just have a slot machine put into your tombstone. That way people that didn't even know you will come to see your grave along with maybe earning a little cash for the family.
#17 Apr 24 2006 at 4:47 PM Rating: Good
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Vensuvio wrote:
It'd seem nice to just have a slot machine put into your tombstone. That way people that didn't even know you will come to see your grave along with maybe earning a little cash for the family.
niiiiiiice
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#18 Apr 24 2006 at 5:06 PM Rating: Good
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Vensuvio wrote:
It'd seem nice to just have a slot machine put into your tombstone. That way people that didn't even know you will come to see your grave along with maybe earning a little cash for the family.


Except for then you'd probably have some old lady camped out at your grave all the time spending her social security check. And every time one of your actual relatives got close to pay their respects she'd caw "Get away, this baby is hot, it's about to pay out!"
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Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
#19 Apr 24 2006 at 8:08 PM Rating: Decent
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Referring to my Sandman comics yet again...

Roderick Burgess
Not Dead,
Only Sleeping
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#20 Apr 24 2006 at 8:10 PM Rating: Decent
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Kakar the Vile wrote:
Except for then you'd probably have some old lady camped out at your grave all the time spending her social security check. And every time one of your actual relatives got close to pay their respects she'd caw "Get away, this baby is hot, it's about to pay out!"

It should pay off in fake plastic fingerbones.

Real bones would be cooler but it would have to tap in to the other graves to keep paying off.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#21 Apr 24 2006 at 8:25 PM Rating: Good
One thing I would like on my tombstone would be this.

"Stranger note as you pass by,
As you are now so once was I.
As I am now so you will be,
Prepare for death and follow me."

However no chance of my wife ever putting that up.

wwdragon
#22 Apr 24 2006 at 9:09 PM Rating: Decent
The cartoon voice of Bugs Bunny has "That's all folks!" on his tombstone.
#23 Apr 24 2006 at 9:23 PM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
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I found them all.

Oh, ha ha ha!

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#24 Apr 24 2006 at 9:44 PM Rating: Good
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I want to be buried next to Patrician or Smash. That way my headstone can read "I'm with stupid"
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#25 Apr 24 2006 at 9:49 PM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
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Yay!
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What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
#26 Apr 25 2006 at 12:34 AM Rating: Decent
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PackyMcStout wrote:
The cartoon voice of Bugs Bunny has "That's all folks!" on his tombstone.

Mel Blanc is dead?

Hell, I thought Graham Greene was dead till my girlfriend put on the "Into the West" DVD.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
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