1600 clams.
Can you guess the brand? Yep, it was a Kirby. I don't know if it was the leaf blower, paint sprayer, scalp massager, toe nail clipper, shampooer, coffee maker, ball tickler or exactly which feature it was, but I bought one. And I'm a tough sell, too.
Starting price was a little over 2 grrrrr but I traded off my Oreck XL that needed a new brush roller and milked them for a discount and got the tax included, too. Scoreboard me? Ummm, not likely. I got suckered in even though it is a fine machine and the demonstration really won me over.
I have a central vac system in my house that works fine, but never deep cleans the carpets and my Oreck is getting sh1ttier by the week. This saleslady vacuumed a section of my carpet eight times with the central vac and eight times with the Oreck, and then pulled all kinds of sand and pet hair out of the same spot with the Kirby. I called bullsh1t (me thinking there was a trick involved) and repeated the procedure myself and came up with the same results. Then she converted the Kirby like a transformer robot to a handheld shampooer and did the same spot on the carpet and a cushion on my couch and showed me how dirty the water was when she was done. I felt ashamed for living like the filthy pig I am.
This chick knew her stuff as I threw the tough questions at her and she explained how other vacs are glorified broomsticks that brush the carpet instead of deep cleaning it. I said, "Yeah, but these things are heavy and my Oreck is light as hell." She promptly handed the thing to me and I was amazed at how much easier it is to use thanks to it's (check this out) "Kirby-drive motor with an integrated hydrostatic transmission" that makes it way easier than even using an Oreck. And I don't even need to vacuum bowling balls!
I've been on this vacuuming binge for 2 hours now and plan to camo-paint my Kirby, set up a command center, and take over the planet with that motha-- just as soon as I get through the manual and figure out how to use all these features. Be afraid. Very afraid. In six to seven years...
Totem
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Totem wrote:
This saleslady
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Jophiel wrote:
Totem wrote:
This saleslady
Sheesh.
I think that's covered in Chapter 9, "Alternative Uses For Your New Kirby Vacuum," FleaJo. I'm fairly certain, without having read that far into the manual, that this thing doubles as a marital aid.
Totem
Totem
I never buy anything unless it comes with oral... never.
Totem wrote:
I think that's covered in Chapter 9, "Alternative Uses For Your New Kirby Vacuum," FleaJo. I'm fairly certain, without having read that far into the manual, that this thing doubles as a marital aid.
Totem
Totem
...
Where do I sign up?
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
So how does it feel knowing you suck now more than ever before?
Totem wrote:
FleaJo.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Vacuum first. Kirby's been around forever.
Jophiel wrote:
Did you get oral?
1600 bucks???? Sounds more like ****.
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Tare wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Did you get oral?
1600 bucks???? Sounds more like ****.
$1600 for **** eh? You wouldn't happen to be going to Boston, would you?
I'm sure I can get 16 guys to chip in $100. Rawr!!
Edited, Thu Apr 13 17:24:14 2006 by Elderon
I'm too lazy to go back and see who coined the name "FleaJo," but I'll RACK him/her in absentia.
Totem
Totem
Elderon.
It makes me feel all Hollywood
It makes me feel all Hollywood
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Elderon? Huh. Just goes to prove that old saw about even a blind pig finding an acorn every once in a while...
Totem
Totem
Totem wrote:
Elderon? Huh. Just goes to prove that old saw about even a blind pig finding an acorn every once in a while...
Totem
Totem
My kirby cost me 3 of my magic beans!
Thank Bob I saved the other 2 magic beans to pay for the release of a $2M Nigerian trust fund!
Thank Bob I saved the other 2 magic beans to pay for the release of a $2M Nigerian trust fund!
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Quote:
I have a central vac system in my house that works fine, but never deep cleans the carpets and my Oreck is getting sh1ttier by the week. This saleslady vacuumed a section of my carpet eight times with the central vac and eight times with the Oreck, and then pulled all kinds of sand and pet hair out of the same spot with the Kirby. I called bullsh1t (me thinking there was a trick involved) and repeated the procedure myself and came up with the same results. Then she converted the Kirby like a transformer robot to a handheld shampooer and did the same spot on the carpet and a cushion on my couch and showed me how dirty the water was when she was done. I felt ashamed for living like the filthy pig I am.
This is one of the older tricks in the book.
You could use it behind your new Kirby and get plenty of dirt, too. Carpets are dirt magnets. Sofa cushns are also known for collecting lots of good material for those demos. Try your mattress out with a huge plastic bag....the loose skin you suck out would amaze you.
My cousin sold Filter Queens for about 3 weeks until he figured out it sucked. I watched his demo like 11 times and think I probably still have all of the cheesy details memorized. I keep hoping I'll write over that part of my brain with some good **** but it hasn't happened yet.
So you're saying my vacuum cleaner *** margarita blender/Salad Shooter/pipe snake/hedgetrimmer/all-in-wonder device isn't as good as the $1600 I paid for it?
Awww, now you're making me feel bad. :(
Totem
Awww, now you're making me feel bad. :(
Totem
It's worth whatever you feel like it's worth, my fine mahogany friend. I'm just saying that the demo isn't a foolproof one. I saw my cuz get busted that exact way: no sale.
this thread reeks of old.
I sold Kirbys back in 94 or 95. $1600 bucks is a good deal. That was the salesperson's minimum sales price back then, if that hasn't changed she made almost no profit off of it. Don't feel like you got ripped off either they are great vacuums. I sold them to both my parents and my (then) in laws and knew they were getting a good machine. Remember to send in the registration on it as you can have the motor refurbished every year for free (although you do have to ship it to them to get it done).
I love my kirby, though mine is ancient. I plan to get a newer one eventually but until this one dies its the one I'll have.
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