Chain emails are teh [:llama:]Follow

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this. I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way we do here. So, would you mind telling President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

Free medical care for my entire family.

English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

All government forms need to be printed in English.

I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.

In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.

I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because we already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him
nicely.

However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.


Thank you so much for your kind help.

???

I don't really get it. I'm probably missing something about current events or something (or just being dimwitted), but is that implying that Americans expect those things when they go to Mexico?

That concept is far to obtuse to understand. I think you should re-explain it in terms everyone will understand.

That concept is far too obtuse to understand. I think you should re-explain it in terms everyone will understand.

Both, actually.

In all fairness though, the reason that I didn't get it is because I've never heard of illegals either receiving or demanding a large portion of the things on the list.

Yeah, that's the joke.

The problem is that most of them either don't make sense, or are flat-out untrue.

All police officers must speak Spanish?

Schools have the Mexican flag flying above the American flag?

Schools need to include classes on Mexican culture and history? The only time I had Mexican history was in Spanish class.