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Forum Predictions for 2005Follow

#1 Dec 31 2004 at 7:54 PM Rating: Excellent
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Well, it's going to be hard to top 2004, that's for sure, but here are my predictions for the coming year

After the new servers are installed, the site will get faster. Then it will slow down, get faster, stop entirely, get kicked twice, then speed up and work well for the rest of the year, untill WoW II is released in September.

The Planetside site will double it's hits when a FFXI player accidentally clicks on it.

The Karma server will abruptly become sentient afterone to many thread on the subject, and will proceed to smite the unbelievers and generally ***** with everyone. We'll get used to it.

A 12 hour section of IRC chat will be turned into a Puliter prize winning novel. The cover will be dedicated to G.F.Y.

"bling-bling" will become the next GFY

A religious schism in the OOT forum will result in a forum wide war. the conflict will go on until the forum is again split into two more forums: OOOT and OOT lite. They will both be later destroyed in a freak plumbing accident.

Jophiel will continue posting until his post count reaches gravetic critical mass. The resulting data implosion will inadvertantly destroy the fox media empire. No one wil notice.

Totem will be selected as a test pilot to fly the helecopter version of the XB-70. It will later be cancelled due to a lack of available rotor blades able to withstand mach III. Despite this setback, he will write a best selling book, which will spawn a tv series. Unfortunatly, Totem will be played by Gilbert Godfried...

Skeet and Flea will star in a broadway variety show. Thousands of new yorkers, bored with cats, will go see it. The show will go well right up until the part where the live chickens are released... The resulting horror show will be released in theaters as "the birds II"

RPZip will become that much more angry, and will post "The One Rant"

The following people will be eaten by angry badgers, aardvaarks, sea bass, and at least one Marmoset: Trunksbrando, LtGoose, Saboruto, XvExodusvX, and bob.

The Thread of the year will begin with a vowel.

Gbaji will become a forum mime.

Danalog, fed up with rampant sockpuppetry and ratebotage, will go on a two week smiteing binge. It will be really really cool.

Nobby and Dracoid will discover the mysterious and oft hypothesized "Forum X", only to be mortally injured while making their escape. their dying words and strange relics brought back from the journey will point a clue to the location, but it will not be discovered again for another 8 billion nanoseconds.

Pickleprince will most likely [CENSORED by order of the NSA] after which we'll all have a good laugh and talk about it for years as we serve our new alien overloards.

Katie Will be voted most popular poster for her role in the "Osama incident"

Nexa will be struck by a small meteorite in the left ankle. She will fully recover, and later discover teh meteorite has the image of elvis on it. She will then sell it on ebay for 1.3 trillion dollars. Then she'll buy us all ponies!

Tarv will be ran over by a large truck.

Darkflame will win the lottery, and run off with {______}

Smasharoo will make it onto a telivised card tournament, only to discover, to his horror that it is a POinochle tournament. Then he'll get delt 5 nines! 5 niiiiiiiiiineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!!!!!!!!!

TwiztidSamurai will be discovered to in fact be a very clever computer program purpotrated as a prank by Illia.

Trickybeck will become the next **** Clark Android prototype

Samira will, through a strange series of humerous events, inherit North Korea.

Tacosid will invent a new form of tube sock. It will be marketed worldwide, but will cause great offense to the people of Iceland, who will put a price on his head.

AegisfangBattlehammer and Patrician's goat and sheap will get together after an all night bender. the resulting kid will be the subject of a legendary custody battle that will divide the asylum.

Goalkeeper and Qaoz will challenge eacother to a duel to the death to decide who is the duchiest dutch person in the asylum. Kaolian will eventually make a large sum of money wagering on the outcome

Jennock will be elected Prime Minsiter of England via a write in campaign

Q and Lucy will clash in a bot insult battle of epic proportions. R not available for comment

MoebiusLord will start an online website devoted to selling care bears, fluffy pillows, and tickle me elmo dolls. The FBI will raid the joint shortly after inception, but will leave relitivly baffled. We don't get it either.

Tare and her little one will embark on a plan to take over the asylum and hold the FFXI forum for ransom

Dalliance will get a large novel published.

Stok will see the light, and convert his store to "Cocoa only" thereby sparking a trend that eventually destroys the starbucks empire, making him a millionaire

Varrusword will eventually get so far out there, that his logic will circle right around through crazy and start to sound rational again...

AngryHippo and Debalic will co author a pizza and junk food cookbook.

spawned will.

Reinman will be abducted by aliens curious about life in the forums. They will later leave confused, and destroy mars on their way out out of spite.

Allakhazam will start a thread in teh Asylum that will be very important, but half way through will sneaze and inadvertantly hit the "Forum S.C.R.A.M." button. Hilarity will ensue

Walkerscrisps will do something really cool and entertaining, but no one will see it.

Haggan will discover a previously undocumented use for noodle soup, and will later use the royalties to help find the S.S. Minnow.

bhodisattva will be cloned, and will form the next great "Aardvaark rock" band

Redyne will beat teh nasty cancer, and will develope a sudden urge to compete in the tour de france, knocking Lance armstrong out in the first round.

Nadenu will be recruited by the remnants of the Nights templar as an agent of propheesy and will embark on a great journey to find the lost city of Ark, which was hidden inside the Atlantis Grail in the holy covenant. It will be located underneith cleveland oddly enough.

Angstycoder will give back my missing Dread Lord title!

Anyone else I forgot will most likely simply be chased by an angry hephalump.

Me? I predict I will finish some of my stories that I have neglected, will win "nerd of the year" beating out gates by 2 and 1/2 votes, and be savegly mauled by an irate llama.

Oh, and the world will end too. but only for a little while.
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#3 Dec 31 2004 at 8:08 PM Rating: Excellent
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I can't wait!!!

/practices tap dancing
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#4 Dec 31 2004 at 8:23 PM Rating: Decent
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Thank goodness hepalumps are scared of me Smiley: grin . they make nice stew.
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#5 Dec 31 2004 at 8:24 PM Rating: Good
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i got me shotgun good and ready
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#6 Dec 31 2004 at 8:47 PM Rating: Excellent
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Dread Lord Kaolian wrote:
Tare and her little one will embark on a plan to take over the asylum and hold the FFXI forum for ransom.


Weeeeeee!!!!

Really, the little one is no help at all. All she can do is suck boobies and ****. Kinda like Patrician. Smiley: wink2
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#7 Dec 31 2004 at 8:53 PM Rating: Excellent
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Trickybeck will become the next @#%^ Clark Android prototype

Little known fact: I AM actually 415 years old.

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#8 Dec 31 2004 at 10:36 PM Rating: Good
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The following people will be eaten by angry badgers, aardvaarks, sea bass, and at least one Marmoset: Trunksbrando, LtGoose, Saboruto, XvExodusvX, and bob.


Well that sucks.
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#9 Dec 31 2004 at 10:44 PM Rating: Good
Yeah, aardvarks ..... that's a tough way to go. I feel for you brotha.
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#10 Dec 31 2004 at 10:53 PM Rating: Good
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HeresJohnny the Silent wrote:
Yeah, aardvarks ..... that's a tough way to go. I feel for you brotha.


I was more upset our *** litte friend was dieing this year.
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#11 Dec 31 2004 at 11:13 PM Rating: Good
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Kao, Fuck you.

...and I mean that in the nicest way possible.
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#12 Dec 31 2004 at 11:43 PM Rating: Good
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Woot nothing happens to me!
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#13 Jan 01 2005 at 2:02 AM Rating: Good
Kelvhand's witty banter and sharp arguments will forever go unnoticed as he has yet to be inducted into a list....
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#14 Jan 01 2005 at 3:50 AM Rating: Good
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I'm allergic to hephalumps.

Uh-oh.
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#15 Jan 01 2005 at 4:12 AM Rating: Excellent
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Hey hey! {______} where are ya?
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#17 Jan 01 2005 at 5:24 AM Rating: Good
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Tarv will be ran over by a large truck.
Since i will be at sea for most of next year that would be impressive, how about "ran over by a drunk Orca?"
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#18 Jan 01 2005 at 5:39 AM Rating: Excellent
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Predictions for the people I forgot (hey, give me a break, it's a big forum)

WarMaverick will rock the Casbah. The Caeliph won't like it though.

deadsidedemon will unfortunatly be eaten by the hephalump. But will give it indigestion!

Kelvyquayo will, after eating a somewhat tainted peruvian Yucca root, espouse a new religious philosophy based soly upon the worship of waffles. It will be quite popular in Belgium and lichtenstein.

HeresJohnny will go "wee wee wee wee" aaaaallll the way home!

GitSlayer will wake up one tuesday morning, and make some toast, which for reasons unknown he will put outside on a table on a saffron colored plate before returing to the house to make orange juice. A passing harpy eagle will spy the breakfast delight, but mistake it for the war dance of the mongolian chickpea. the harpy eagle will then attack the plate, but misjudge and crash into the table. this will send the garden shovel placed on the other end of the table soaring across the street in a parabolic arc, where it will then land on the neighbor's roof, and tumbl down into the gutter with three solid bumps. the bumps will wake up the nieghbor, who will come outside with a rolled up newspaper. the shovel meanwhile will back up the gutter, causing a muddy sludge to cascade down upon the now indignant neighbor who will throw the newspaper down in frustration, strikeing an until now sleeping cat. the cat will shoot across the street, bowling over the stunned harpy eagle, which will flap once to regain balance, knocking over Gitslayers orance juice, which gitslayer will spill on a nearby phone conduit. the resulting power surge will at that very moment avert a terrorist attack at a nearby airport by cutting the power to the phone line transmitter detonator. But then the harpy eagle will bite gitslayer in the ankle, which will be annoying.

(there, that better?)

Karthtwo will be subracted from Karthfour, and then devided by karthzero, creating a massive paradox that will briefly destroy the world, before being renamed to karthfortytwo.

Kelvhand will turn to a life of tofu smuggling to support his ever growing tafita addiction. He will later be caught crossing the canadian border, be incarcerated for a period of 19 and 1/2 days, then write a best selling self help book. Due to a legal technicality the proceeds will actually be used to support the construction of a large particle accelerator.

Reeve will fall off of a small pony and break his colar bone, yet later make a miraculous recovery and star in the next batman movie, before being lost at sea after hitting a stealth iceberg.

Edited, Sat Jan 1 05:41:22 2005 by Kaolian
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#19 Jan 01 2005 at 6:17 AM Rating: Good
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The one about gitslayer has to be the most randome thing I've ever read. Smiley: laugh
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#20 Jan 01 2005 at 7:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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/Indy mode on

"Cleveland. Why'd it have to be Cleveland."

/Indy mode off
#21 Jan 01 2005 at 8:04 AM Rating: Decent
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Kao wrote:
Goalkeeper and Qaoz will challenge eacother to a duel to the death to decide who is the duchiest dutch person in the asylum. Kaolian will eventually make a large sum of money wagering on the outcome


bling-bling
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There is still hope.

Farewell.
#22 Jan 01 2005 at 8:12 AM Rating: Good
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ROFL Sorry I can't linger, I have to go polish my tricycle!


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#23 Jan 01 2005 at 8:27 AM Rating: Decent
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My money's definitely on you, Redyne.

There will be a lot of bling-bling for me Smiley: waycool
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There is still hope.

Farewell.
#24 Jan 01 2005 at 9:06 AM Rating: Decent
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Belkain will become the god of paperclips, and destroy you all...
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#25 Jan 01 2005 at 9:27 AM Rating: Default
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Goddamnit Kao!
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So I wander on, asking where you might have gone
From what I knew before, some things are worth fighting for
Night road leads me to a town because
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They're calling out, forevermore worth fighting for
#26 Jan 01 2005 at 10:35 AM Rating: Decent
Quote:
his ever growing tafita addiction


Christ, who told...
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