A Kerry endorsmentFollow

Kerry to Endorse New 'Purple Heart' Band-Aids
05/06/04 NEW BRUNSWICK, New Jersey

Senator John Kerry, the recipient of three Purple Hearts, has signed a contract with Johnson & Johnson to endorse a new line of band-aids.

The band-aids will be small purple hearts designed to cover minor, superficial wounds like Kerry suffered as a lieutenant in the Vietnam War.

"We're proud to be working with Senator Kerry," said a Johnson & Johnson spokesperson. "We plan to use actual shrapnel removed from his arm in our ad campaign to highlight the small size of our J&J Band-Aid brand Purple Heart bandages."

The doctor who treated Kerry at Cam Ranh Bay, Vietnam, recently described the procedure used to treat the wound that won the senator his first Purple Heart.

"First, I located the wound with the aid of a magnifying glass," said Dr. Louis Letson. "Then, I used a pair of tweezers to extract the shrapnel, which measured approximately one centimeter in length and two to three millimeters in diameter.

"Finally, I covered the wound with one of those little round band-aids people use to cover corns on their toes."

The Band-Aid endorsement is not the first for Senator Kerry.

It comes on the heels of two other high-profile endorsement deals Kerry has signed with Waffle House and Flip-Flops, Inc.

©2004 RealStupidNews.com

sh*t Bush had more of a wound falling off his bike than Kerry did from the shrapnel from his playing with mortar rounds and firing them into rocks.

I'm not critizing John Kerry's Service. He served honorably and received the Silver Star, I can not disrespect the man for that action. He is a hero who fought for his country and a brave soul. I RESPECT JOHN KERRY FOR BEING A SOLDIER

I just wanted to be clear that you're a whiney ***** who's never once faced risk of being wounded in combat questioning the valor of a man injured three times.

I told you before my life is not up for public debate nor is the service to my country any of your business other than it has been close to 20 years and I will receive an Honorable Discharge for that service at Retirement. Where I've been and what I have done other than what I have shared is just no one elses business.

Being a cowardly lifer in the service who never was at risk gives you as much right to question his record as a ******* mailman.

Now mind you I understand that you are upset that Kerry is being torn apart for his actions in the combat theater, let's move to something else like his actions after his service. AND HIS @#%^ING DISGRACE TO THE SAME UNIFORM BOTH YOU AND I HAVE WORN!!

Caps lock got stuck so bad it printed exclamation points? Umm'kay.

First of all, how can a person so obviously in the 3rd grade have spent 20 years in the service.

Nope, cap locks got stuck dumb ***.

No I don't suck, I @#%^, I'm not ***** like you.

:)