So I wake up today after another night of heavy drinking with my girlfriend and my bed is soaked. Great eh? To top it all off I woke up late so couldn't shower before work. Needless to say I feel a little Charles Bukowski-ish....
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Why is my bed soaking wet?Follow
All I hear in the Asylum is just pi[i][/i]ssing and moaning.
Eb
Notes of a Dirty Old Man
Eb
Notes of a Dirty Old Man
46 posts
Wow A post about double posts gets more attention than my highly personal post about a very embarrasing incident and subsequent day of discomfort. I guess most people on this forum probably **** on themselves everynight and don't share my same desire to obtain validation from their peers.
Pee before you go to bed. If it happens again, wake her up and move her to the couch, or the floor if no couch is available. Chances are she is smashed, and will believe anything as to why she was on the floor. Pull the sheets, change them if spare is around, if not...well, ya gotta improvise there buddy. Under no circumstances do you admit that, I never have and it's worked like a charm. If you don't get to the sheets soon, your clothes for that matter, it starts to smell REAL bad in a day or so. Just an FYI.
46 posts
Yeah I flippd the mattress over that seemed to help, then I got in my car and found some homeless guy and beat the f'uck out of him and stole his meager belongings, then I returned his meager belongings thinking to myself that maybe tey are cursed and would cause me to become homeless too. Then I changed the sheets.
Howard, post under your original name or shut the fu[i][/i]ck up.
Twiztid
Twiztid
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
Quote:
Howard, shut the fu[i][/i]ck up.
FTFH
Eb
Quote:
Quote:
Howard, shut the **** up.
FTFY
FTFY
But thanks, that pretty much summed it up well.
Twiztid
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
Ooooooh, you peed in your bed. Now I get it. I had thought your drinking had led to you falling unconscious and the bottle just tipped over. Or your girlfriend was a wetnurse. I wasn't sure. But incontinence, well, a stout pair of Pull Ups or Depends will cure that little inconvenience.
Go about your business.
Totem
Go about your business.
Totem
10 points if you can quote the first line of The Fountainhead, telling us what Howard Roark was doing.
100 points if you fu[i][/i]cking hate Ayn Rand.
Eb
"Communism ran over my dogma" UGH
Eb
"Communism ran over my dogma" UGH
People who get suckered in by Ann Raynd are a good thing in my mind, because if they had read Mein Kampf first instead of Atlas Shrugged or whatever other 100000 page book of mighty 19 inch ****** architects counquering the world might apply, the world would be a lot more complicated. As philsophies for the mush brained slightly below average people of the world to adhere to, Objectivism isn't so bad. At least they leave me the fuc[b][/b]k alone.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
46 posts
It's pretty safe to say that anyone who derives their social and or political beliefs off of a fictional novel about an architect probably aren't very rooted in reality. Unless it's Ender's Game, I'm still looking to the skies for giant superinteligent bees to come streaking in and destroy the human race.
46 posts
Oh and the ******* with the picture of a badger for his avatar can kiss my ***. I mean Jesus man what kind of reply is STFU? Use your ******* head, make me ashamed of my inferior intelligence. "Lay off the drugs you f'uck you're so strung out your husband has to f'uck your kids." Something like that, that 's insulting
Sock puppets tend to get no more than a STFU, its not worth expending anymore energy than that on them.
so STFU
so STFU
Quote:
Unless it's Ender's Game
Good book.
Looking forward to the movie.
Failed your biology class, did you? Yes, that picture isn't terribly large, but that is a platypus, Howie, not a badger. While your myopia can explain away a portion of your lack of education, and our poor public education system can explain away another substantial part, we still are left to assume that congenital brain damage played a major role in your intellectual development.
Totem
Edited, Tue May 25 20:06:07 2004 by Totem
Totem
Edited, Tue May 25 20:06:07 2004 by Totem
46 posts
Got sock puppet on the brain eh? daddy bringing out the toys in the bedroom again?
46 posts
Sorry Tot not as up on my animals as you are. How's that beastiality working out for you? I bet you could tell me the ******* genus and species too couldn't you.
Yes, actually, I could. A quality education never lets you down, unlike that can of spray paint you've been huffing.
Totem
Totem
46 posts
"Quality education Y'all" is what I'm sure you meant. So tell me, letting one of your blazer wearing schoolmates teach you to kiss during english period?
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Good book.
Looking forward to the movie.
Looking forward to the movie.
Great book. Read the rest of the series. Those are good too.
As for the movie, I don't think it will happen any time soon. The book has already been out for 15 years. Even if they made the movie I dont know if I would want to see it. Special effects can't really capture the book like an imagination can.
I hear your daddy did like to play "sockpuppet" with you. I understand it involved ramming his fist up your *** while lisping in a high voice the adventures of "underoo'man in the caves of fun." This I guess would be the times when he was not telling you about the adventures of "penisman" in your mouth.
See I can be just as disgusting as you. How 1337 I am.
See I can be just as disgusting as you. How 1337 I am.
46 posts
Recycling my posts Git? Using 1337? You were homeschooled weren't you. At least you retained your sense of humor and originality.
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