Troy....It's no Gladiator. In fact, it's no Ice PiratesFollow

The balls of fire = Greek Fire. That's realistic.

I wish I would've read this before going to see this piece of ****. I also should have caught on the movie sucked when my wife wanted to go see an "action" movie. She admitted afterwards that she had seen on Oprah that Brad Pitts *** was in the movie. According to her she could sit through another action movie for that.

Now that I think back on it....there were more women in the theater than men.....I guess I need to open my ******* eyes and pay attention to details.


I got rated down for this....thats sad.....
I can't type

Edited, Mon May 17 11:12:47 2004 by spawned




Edited, Mon May 17 12:41:11 2004 by spawned

What's worse, Pitt *** or *** pit?

I don't know what that is, but I imagine it's like an armpit for your ***.

Sorry to stray but Ice Pirates? Like Space Herpes Ice Pirates?

Got sold on seeing kill bill 2 last night what a boring slow movie, after the first one I had such high hopes, the only slightly redeeming things to it were the fight scene with Daryl Hannah and Uma Thurman and the brief little role of Pei -Mei the chinese teacher.

If you want a solid action flick save 3 bucks and go rent the first one at blockbuster. If you want lots of dialoge and a slow plot go see the second one.

I have now figured out why they didnt give David Carradine lines in Kung Fu cause he just cant act.

I agree with most of your review, Smash, with one notable exception.

Yes, the director's agnostic take on The Iliad was conspicuously void of any tangible presence of the Olympians.

If one might compare the story of The Iliad to a game of chess, the mortals would be the chess pieces, and the Olympians would be the people manipulating them. The director chose to focus on the chess board. I'm glad he did.

With the exception of the above, however, I thought the screenplay stayed relatively true to Homer's version, or rather, more true than is typical of novel-screen transitions. That may sound like a contradiction, and I suppose that in a sense, it is.

The movie would have grown entirely too fragmented and awkward if the director had chosen to include the multitude of gods and goddesses who were notably absent.

Sure, the director employed a liberal amount of artistic license by neglecting to explain the origin of Achilles' fighting prowess, and thus, his one weakness, but was that really necessary? Some, you for instance, believe it is. I don't.

I feel that if he'd included the backstory for Achilles' heel, he would have felt obligated to expound on dozens, if not hundreds of other instances in which the Olympians intervened; starting with an explanation of how Hera's, Athena's, and Aphrodite's vanity was the real cause of the war, and ending with Aphrodite guiding Paris' spear (or a bow, depending on the translation) into Achilles' heel. I think that would have made the movie unwieldy.

A couple other less notable differences of opinion:

Although it's been many years since I read Homer's epic poem, I don't recall Odysseus playing a large part in the story. In fact, I left the theatre with precisely the opposite impression you did; I thought that big 'O' was given too much screentime. One of our memories is obviously lacking, and it is just as likely that it is my own that is falling short. However, it's my suspicion that you are confusing Odysseus' prevalence in The Odyssey with his scarcity in The Iliad. I certainly wouldn't bet the mortgage on that though- assuming I had one.

Also, I thought that the actors did a decent job of portraying their Greek counterparts. Orlando Bloom made the perfect Paris; a wuss, a coward, and a philanderer. Mr. Pitt's portrayal of Achilles' was spot on. Achilles' was vain, egotistical, selfish, foul-tempered, and violent. Odysseus was clever, shrewd, conniving, and charming. Etc.

I hope my rambling here isn't seen as an attempt to defend the quality of the movie, because it really wasn't very good. Although I wouldn't rank it amongst a movie like Ice Pirates. I'd say it was comparable in almost every way with Gladiator, except in the department of originality.

I enjoyed it, though I recognize the fact it was sorely lacking in many ways.

I watched a pretty neat Unsolved History episode on the Trojan war. The commercials were interspersed with footage of the movie (at least half the movie itself, it seemed). Discovery Channel rocks sometimes...

I noticed the silliness of Achilles' jumping, too. Looked like that was supposed to be his 'power move'. He used it a lot in his duels, though Hector did not seem so easily daunted.

Nobody would have read it anyway. Not because it's not worth reading, but because there's a new episode of Survivor on tonight.

There are only two types of people that read The Iliad nowadays; students who are forced to, and their professors.

In all my years of being a loyal visitor of Allaz', I'm not one for posting on these forums. BUT, Smasharoo, I swear to god I havn't laughed so hard in years. That was one of the funniest posts I have ever read. Bravo! And no, I won't be going to see Troy.

And nerds like me! *nods*

I'm just one of those goobs that has to read a classic now and then to stay human. Only so much Hollywood and mass market fiction you can clog your brain with before it needs a good flushing.

I did a little bit of research and has anyone else noticed a few people dying who shouldn't have, and a few people who should have died but didn't?

Right off, I know Agammemnon shouldn't have died in Troy, but I passed that off as the fact that he's the bad guy in the film and bad guys have to die at the end of the movie. In "reality" he died a long while later, having ignored the prophecy of his Trojan slave Cassandra (no one ever listened to her.)

The other day, I was reading through some information and I also realized a few other things.

There's the whole timeline thing, apparently, from what I read, Helen was in Troy for about 8 years (or longer) before the Greeks came to fetch her. And then the war itself lasted another 8 (or ten, I can't remember) years.

Kinda glad they compressed it a little bit. ;)

But then also, Paris dies in Troy I think, and Helen takes up with another fellow. Meneleus (he doesn't die, either) finds her with her new boy toy, and kills him, then when he's about to kill her, she flashes him and he relents and they go home and live happily ever after. (The power of perfect breasts, what can I say? Worked for Buttercup, too.)

They also left out a few other players, like I believe Hercules was a bit player in the Trojan war, and Philoctetes wasn't in there anywhere. They did mention Aeneus (the boy Paris gives the sword to in the end of the movie) and he really was a survivor (one of the only survivors, well, who wasn't a slave, at any rate)

Hector's wife was taken as a slave, and his son was thrown over the walls of Troy by Oddyseus.

Fun all around!

Oh yeah, and Ajax (the big fellow with the hammer) suicides (for some reason, I don't remember why at the moment, or when).

And Patriclus wasn't Achilles' cousin.

Isn't Colin Farrell in one of those? He usually tries to avoid sucking.

The part that bothered me the most was how they put almost no effort into linking Achilles and Briseis before Agamemnnon took her. I mean, in one scene his friend thinks she'll amuse him, they talk for all of 5 minutes, then suddenly when he's talking with Agamemnnon and the guards show up with her it's like OH! he LOVES her huh? WTF? Was this just bad editing?