Republican beliefsFollow

Kinda long and some of you might have read it but its an email I got from my dad today that I thought was fitting.

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money, but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

4. The government has no business telling me I can't have guns, but when a woman wants to exercise freedom of choice, then it's time for a Constitutional amendment.

5. Bush (6% unemployment, $87+ billion to Iraq, half-trillion dollar deficit) is doing a great job getting us out of the economic mess that Clinton (3.8% unemployment, peace, huge surplus) got us into.

6. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

7. Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

8. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

9. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

10. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

11. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies and then demand their cooperation and money.

12. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

13. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

14. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but Creationism should be taught in schools.

15. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush Senior made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush Junior couldn't find Bin Laden.

16. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying about nonexistent Weapons of Mass Destruction to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

17. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

18. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

19. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

20. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what George Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.

21. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to the spirit of international harmony.

22. We have to run background checks on every Muslim traveler to the U.S. because they killed 2,800 Americans on 9/11, but a background check on gun buyers even though there are 15,000 gun-related deaths in the U.S. every year? No way!

23. We're leaving no child behind. Entire public school systems, but no child.

24. Americans shouldn't buy imported goods, but other countries should buy our stuff.

25. The Right is still bashing a president who's been out of office for three years, who made our economy healthy, and who didn't alienate the rest of the world's leaders. But the minute anyone says anything about Bush, it's wrong.

26. John Ashcroft can spy on you, tap your phone, check your email and even search your home, but an independent investigation into the Administration? Not a chance!

I like crackers.

27. Blah blah blah.

28. More blah blah blah.

29. Blah blah blah ad nausum

Totem

Dude, cheese is nasty. YOu need whipped cream.

Oh, I agree, but I disagree about cheese even more.

Guess if I was a Yank, I'd be a Democrat then lol

I was wondering the same thing. I had assumed due to the name Bongo, that it was a semi-trained chimp used by Alla to monitor the boards during times of sleep, but I have no actual proof of this theory.

Totem

Lol, I didn't expect a response from you, Dan, so quick, heheh.

Totem

Or a G =P

So, why no avatar? Couldn't find a picture of a Bongo?

Here you go:

http://www.gorilla-haven.org/ghphotos/bongo.jpg


Edit: Here is another, but I can't help you find any more pictures, I'm on strike.

http://www.bristolzoo.org.uk/images/bongo.jpg




Edited, Mon May 10 17:30:00 2004 by Skeeter

Where do these people come from?

Eb

no to be a republican you have to be more based on life than death. Democrats (which you are) believe that Death Penalty (for criminals) are wrong but Abortions (for innocent babies) is perfecctly fine.

Hang on let me get my tinfoil hat on straight so we're on an equal footing. One, there are numerous reasons for not advocating for the death penalty. Let me toss afew out there.

Firstly, it's ethically foolish because it euqates the State with the people it would be used to punish. A nation should't even be in a circumstance where it murders people in cold bolld. The death penalty isn't even remotely simmilar to a cop killing someone who's about to do harm to another person, or a soldier killing someone in the heat of war. It's cold blooded, state sanctioned murder, pure and simple. That, to me, is morally wrong. I believe we should strive to a higher ethical standard than cold blooded murder as a nation. You may disagree.

Secondly, and this is the most important argument for me, while is sucks to be in Prison for twenty years because of a mistaken murder conviction, it sucks a lot less than being dead bevause of one. If you could gaurantee somehow that every single person ever sentanced to death was indeed guilty of what they had been convicted of you could make a better case for the death penalty. I'd still disagree with it because of that first reason, but you could make a somewhat rational case for it. Unfortunately, you can't. Our justice system may be the best in the world, but it's surely not perfect. People are convicted of things they haven't done, ALL THE TIME. Having a death penaly essentialy GURANTEES that eventually the state is going to clold bloodedly murder an INNOCENT PERSON. If we haven't already. Unacceptable.

As to abortion, it's not the same as chopping the head off a one year old any more than ************ is killing millions of unborn children. Assuming life starts at conception isn't any more valid than assuming life starts when a sperm is produced. Your argument is foolish and unfounded.


You also believe that the best Democrat in the White House ever (clinton to you dummies) was good even though he sold more of our country to other nations, LIED TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC, cheat on his wife in office, and wants to have "Peace On Earth."


One, no one thinks Clinton was the "best" Democratic president, not even Clinton. I'm not even going to dignify the other stuff by bringing up Regan's gay love trysts with animals in Oval Office, but suffice to say I've seen the evidence and trust me, it isn't pretty. If you've never seen a seventy year old man call a goat "mommy" you haven't lived.


Atleast us Republicans have the BALLS to go after Iraq and otehr horrible political leader in 3rd world nations. You all jsut sit back with your thumbs up your asses trying to make world peace when there will never be world peace. Also you talk about the UN this the UN that. The UN is nothing but basically a communist regime. A party of a few people deciding what is best for each nation? Let the people decide. Republicans may get us into bigger deficits, but her eis one thing for your left winged a$$ to think about. Without the great such as Lincoln, (possibly George W., and the MAN, Ronald Wilson Reagan, this country would be a useless sh*t hole filled with nothing but tyrants. thanks the Republicans and the right wingers. We the true leaders of this country.


You're right, nothing prevents Fasicism like a right wing government. Well, gotta run off to take the Subway into Boston where I can now be searched without cause any time I get on a trian. Thank God you people are keeping my freedoms safe.

Hats of to Smasharoo and Wordlife..

I could not have said it better.