Hi everyone:) I was wondering if anyone could give me advice:)
My husband asked me to leave him:( I don't really want to, I want to stay and try to work things out:) He has already made up his mind though:( I'm really not sure if i should stay and keep hope or if I should do what he wants and go:) Thought maybe if someone had experienced the same thing they could give advice:) Thanks:)
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any advice for a broken marriage?Follow
Give him ****
AegisfangBattlehammer wrote:
Give him ****
I love this forum.
Edit: Decided that I didn't want to post what I was going to post:)
Edited, Tue Apr 27 12:36:49 2004 by Kristal
Edited, Tue Apr 27 12:36:49 2004 by Kristal
Hmmm...difficult to say without much detail, although if he has blatantly asked you to leave, maybe you both need some space and time apart. Sometimes it's easier to gain a fresh perspective when you have a bit of distance between you.
Sorry for your bad times.
Sorry for your bad times.
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Thanks Tare:) I agree with you:) I would just hate to see that once we are apart, we stay apart:)
Quote:
Edit: Decided that I didn't want to post what I was going to post:)
Oh ****
Though it's seriously against OOT edict, I'm gonna be serious for a moment.
Tare's right. Sounds like at the very least yall need to spend some time apart. A relationship cannot work without the effort of two people. Once things cool down on his end, I'm sure he'll be willing to talk things out, even if it is a final talk.
And if he doesn't, fu[i][/i]ck him.....figuratively speaking, of course.
Tare's right. Sounds like at the very least yall need to spend some time apart. A relationship cannot work without the effort of two people. Once things cool down on his end, I'm sure he'll be willing to talk things out, even if it is a final talk.
And if he doesn't, fu[i][/i]ck him.....figuratively speaking, of course.
Quote:
My husband asked me to leave him:( I don't really want to, I want to stay and try to work things out:) He has already made up his mind though:( I'm really not sure if i should stay and keep hope or if I should do what he wants and go:) Thought maybe if someone had experienced the same thing they could give advice:) Thanks:)
Smash some beer bottles on your kitchen floor and roll around naked in the broken glass if you want to aprozimate what it'll be like if you try to stay and convince him he wants to be with you.
Move on, get some self esteem and **** his best freind.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Hehe, sorry to dissapoint you, lol
Smasharoo wrote:
Move on, get some self esteem and **** his best freind.
Oh Smash, where would we be without you???
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Better off?
ZING!
My only advice :) since I'm so young :) is not to use so many damn smileys :) in your posts :)
My only advice :) since I'm so young :) is not to use so many damn smileys :) in your posts :)
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
Quote: My only advice :) since I'm so young :) is not to use so many damn smileys :) in your posts :)
Reply: I like the smileys, they make me happy:)
Reply: I like the smileys, they make me happy:)
I am not sure what the Divorce Busting link was all about, or if Michelle already covered it, no time to read it just now, but threatening suicide in almost all cases will buy you some time. =) If this doesn't work, you know that there is no chance for your relationship. I will read Michelle's thoughts later.
I’ll be serious for one post here! (Although I was serious about my first one)
Being a guy myself I can say almost certainty that your husband is having an affair. Why would a guy ever ask his wife/girlfriend to leave without having some backup tang? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news sweetie but that’s what’s going on.
Pack your crap and leave, I can almost guarantee that within a month you’ll see him/her pulling out of your ex’s driveway in the morning.
Sorry but move on and get over it.
Being a guy myself I can say almost certainty that your husband is having an affair. Why would a guy ever ask his wife/girlfriend to leave without having some backup tang? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news sweetie but that’s what’s going on.
Pack your crap and leave, I can almost guarantee that within a month you’ll see him/her pulling out of your ex’s driveway in the morning.
Sorry but move on and get over it.
I must admit to my bafflement that a person would come to this forum for serious relationship advice so can only assume the OP is having a bit of a tug at our lower appendages.
I mean our legs, you pervs!
I mean our legs, you pervs!
For a laugh you could always turn lesbian and flaunt it in front of his friends, colleagues, and family. Just make sure you loudly and publically proclaim his abysmal lovemaking skills and small genitalia turned you into one.
Totem
Totem
Quote:
I’ll be serious for one post here! (Although I was serious about my first one)
Being a guy myself I can say almost certainty that your husband is having an affair. Why would a guy ever ask his wife/girlfriend to leave without having some backup tang? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news sweetie but that’s what’s going on.
Pack your crap and leave, I can almost guarantee that within a month you’ll see him/her pulling out of your ex’s driveway in the morning.
Sorry but move on and get over it.
Being a guy myself I can say almost certainty that your husband is having an affair. Why would a guy ever ask his wife/girlfriend to leave without having some backup tang? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news sweetie but that’s what’s going on.
Pack your crap and leave, I can almost guarantee that within a month you’ll see him/her pulling out of your ex’s driveway in the morning.
Sorry but move on and get over it.
Yea, this is what I thought immediately too.
You can't change what other people feel. You can't control other people. All you can do is accept the decisions they've made and try to become a better person from the experience.
I went though a truly dismal divorce. I was miserable. Ask just about anyone here... However, after having gone through it, I've found that I'm much happier now than I ever could have been with my ex-wife. I did spend a lot of time pining for the relationship that I used to have, but eventually, you move one. When you do, you will realize that you don't need others to be complete and that while you can control what you do, you can't control what others do.
Now, I've begun dating in earnest. Not because I'm lonely or because I feel incomplete without someone in my life, but because I want to meet new people and try new things.
Grady
I went though a truly dismal divorce. I was miserable. Ask just about anyone here... However, after having gone through it, I've found that I'm much happier now than I ever could have been with my ex-wife. I did spend a lot of time pining for the relationship that I used to have, but eventually, you move one. When you do, you will realize that you don't need others to be complete and that while you can control what you do, you can't control what others do.
Now, I've begun dating in earnest. Not because I'm lonely or because I feel incomplete without someone in my life, but because I want to meet new people and try new things.
Grady
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix, angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machin ery of night.
9 posts
sucks for you...probably havin an affair..i go with the lesbian idea :P
First of all, don't leave. If he has decided he doesn't want you that's fine. Leaving gives him the upper hand in any divorce because you have "abandoned" your home. He can go ***** whoever he likes, but don't get angry or sad- just make sure you get what you put back into the marriage, if only the material things. If he's giving himself the luxury of a mental vacation (and perhaps a physical one), the least he can do is bow out, not demand that you leave like some soulless *******.
Make him jelous:P and if that doesnt work, kick his ***! Or in the balls:) Leave him, while he's hurt.
Ok now im serious:
Just ask him, what is the deal, why all of a sudden do you want me to leave? Get to the bottom of it girl! And he probably isn't the right one for you! So go ask him!
Ok now im serious:
Just ask him, what is the deal, why all of a sudden do you want me to leave? Get to the bottom of it girl! And he probably isn't the right one for you! So go ask him!
Hmmm... Have you been married long? Do you do things together?
The big question, "Why?" comes up for me - you didn't indicate he had given you any reasons, so - shoot - what comes up for me is also ... He's getting some on the side and now wants to make it easier to get. if so, he's a jerk.
BUT - I firmly believe that you shouldn't just split up without the two of you going to some good professional counseling. He won't want to (most men don't, ESPECIALLY if they have something to hide). And yup - it's expensive, but there's usually sliding scales and really - it tends to be cheaper in the long run (lawyers are REAL expensive). Tell him that you can't give him any kind of anwwer without going to ... 4 sessions - then you'll give him an answer after that (you should know by then if it's worth staying, cutting and running, or ruining his butt).
Gotta communicate - most guys are bad at it - I didn't learn until well into my 30s - the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" actually helped. It was straightforward, simplistic, and full of generalizations... and right on target, for the most part.
That's my 2 cp.
Good luck...
spelling edit
Edited, Tue Apr 27 19:02:35 2004 by Mikeinsb
The big question, "Why?" comes up for me - you didn't indicate he had given you any reasons, so - shoot - what comes up for me is also ... He's getting some on the side and now wants to make it easier to get. if so, he's a jerk.
BUT - I firmly believe that you shouldn't just split up without the two of you going to some good professional counseling. He won't want to (most men don't, ESPECIALLY if they have something to hide). And yup - it's expensive, but there's usually sliding scales and really - it tends to be cheaper in the long run (lawyers are REAL expensive). Tell him that you can't give him any kind of anwwer without going to ... 4 sessions - then you'll give him an answer after that (you should know by then if it's worth staying, cutting and running, or ruining his butt).
Gotta communicate - most guys are bad at it - I didn't learn until well into my 30s - the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" actually helped. It was straightforward, simplistic, and full of generalizations... and right on target, for the most part.
That's my 2 cp.
Good luck...
spelling edit
Edited, Tue Apr 27 19:02:35 2004 by Mikeinsb
Hmmm... Not knowing anything about you or him, or the reasons for him deciding to leave you, it's really hard to give advice.
I can only think of a couple reasons why a man would actually ask his wife to leave him:
1. He's having an affair. Yeah, others said this, but I think it's more then that. Most guys will happily have an affair for the sex, and keep the wife for the company and someone to take to social occasions (and to just avoid facing the issue). If he's asking for a divorce as a result of an affair, then it means that he's actually "serious" about the other person (ie: He's not just getting sex from her). Umm... It's unlikely that you'll be able to sway him if that's the case. He's found a replacement for you and that's about all she wrote. Get him with a nice divorce settlement and move on.
2. He just honestly can't stand to live with/be married to you anymore. Again. I have no idea what you or he are like. He could be a nutball. You could be a nutball. I've certainly dated women that I literally couldn't stand being in the same room with and actually had to work to get them to realize that I didn't want to date the anymore. You'd think he'd figure that out before marrying you though, but some people are just dense. If this is the case, it's *possible* that marriage counseling could work. It's probably worth a try. However, you need to be really honest and accept the fact that it may turn out that he just doesn't love you and doesn't want to be with you. Yeah. That hurts, but you can't control what other people think.
Whatever you do, don't just try to "make it work". If he wants out, and all he senses from you is that you're going to cling to him no matter what he says or does, he will gradually increase the extremness of his actions. I don't know if this is the case, but your immediate "but I don't want him to leave" response makes me wonder about this. Get professional marriage counseling if you want to try to keep things going. Whatever you do, don't just try to use your own tricks/tactics to keep him with you. There's a 50% chance that the problem in the relationship is you (and you may not even know it). Professional counseling will help you both face those issues. One or both of you trying to do it on your own means that one of you (at least) is never going to face the real issue at hand, and the marriage will be painful at best.
Forcing that kind of relationship is one of the things that can lead to an abusive relationship (going either way in this case). The fact that he's being pretty open and honest about wanting to leave speaks volumes about how firm he is in this decision. Trying to change his mind at this point may very well be impossible, and very likely will cause more harm then good. Sometimes, two people just aren't meant to be together. The sooner you both figure that out, the better you'll be in the long run.
Um... Next question. Any children? Not that that change the equation at all, but it's something to think about. The kids will be vastly more happy if the two of you break relatively amicably, then if you drag it out until you both hate eachother's guts "for the kids". Very few people can pull that off. Kids are remarkably good at reading adults. They'll know if there are problems long before you tell them. If you do have kids, don't think that staying for their sake will make things better. It'll probably make things worse.
I can only think of a couple reasons why a man would actually ask his wife to leave him:
1. He's having an affair. Yeah, others said this, but I think it's more then that. Most guys will happily have an affair for the sex, and keep the wife for the company and someone to take to social occasions (and to just avoid facing the issue). If he's asking for a divorce as a result of an affair, then it means that he's actually "serious" about the other person (ie: He's not just getting sex from her). Umm... It's unlikely that you'll be able to sway him if that's the case. He's found a replacement for you and that's about all she wrote. Get him with a nice divorce settlement and move on.
2. He just honestly can't stand to live with/be married to you anymore. Again. I have no idea what you or he are like. He could be a nutball. You could be a nutball. I've certainly dated women that I literally couldn't stand being in the same room with and actually had to work to get them to realize that I didn't want to date the anymore. You'd think he'd figure that out before marrying you though, but some people are just dense. If this is the case, it's *possible* that marriage counseling could work. It's probably worth a try. However, you need to be really honest and accept the fact that it may turn out that he just doesn't love you and doesn't want to be with you. Yeah. That hurts, but you can't control what other people think.
Whatever you do, don't just try to "make it work". If he wants out, and all he senses from you is that you're going to cling to him no matter what he says or does, he will gradually increase the extremness of his actions. I don't know if this is the case, but your immediate "but I don't want him to leave" response makes me wonder about this. Get professional marriage counseling if you want to try to keep things going. Whatever you do, don't just try to use your own tricks/tactics to keep him with you. There's a 50% chance that the problem in the relationship is you (and you may not even know it). Professional counseling will help you both face those issues. One or both of you trying to do it on your own means that one of you (at least) is never going to face the real issue at hand, and the marriage will be painful at best.
Forcing that kind of relationship is one of the things that can lead to an abusive relationship (going either way in this case). The fact that he's being pretty open and honest about wanting to leave speaks volumes about how firm he is in this decision. Trying to change his mind at this point may very well be impossible, and very likely will cause more harm then good. Sometimes, two people just aren't meant to be together. The sooner you both figure that out, the better you'll be in the long run.
Um... Next question. Any children? Not that that change the equation at all, but it's something to think about. The kids will be vastly more happy if the two of you break relatively amicably, then if you drag it out until you both hate eachother's guts "for the kids". Very few people can pull that off. Kids are remarkably good at reading adults. They'll know if there are problems long before you tell them. If you do have kids, don't think that staying for their sake will make things better. It'll probably make things worse.
King Nobby wrote:
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